Slang Terms Used by Cops and Robbers

The world of cops and robbers is an entity all its own. It’s a culture that lives and breathes in every neighborhood of every city. And, within each individual subgroup comes a separate set of traditions, rules, regulations, and even their own language(s). The same is true within the various groups of criminals. They, too, have their languages, mannerisms, etc.

To survive in these various social orders, members and visitors and newcomers must walk the walk and talk the talk that’s associated with each group. For example, to you the word cop might conjure up images of a burly police officer. However, to many criminals cop means to take plea agreement offered by the DA. “I’m not going to take a chance with a jury trial. I’m going to cop a plea.”

Let’s take a peek at a few more of the slang terms used by cops and robbers.

Sagging/Jailing (jailin’) – Wearing pants with the waistband so low that the underwear/boxer shorts are exposed. This style actually began in prisons and jails because inmates are often issued ill-fitting clothing. Their jail-issued pants are sometimes much too big which causes them to ride low on the hips.

Some say inmates who wear their pants “low” (saggers) are advertising that they’re available for sex.

Chicken head – someone who gives oral sex in exchange for drugs.

Hose Dragger – firefighter

Junior G-Man – a new officer/agent/special agent, etc. The new kid in the station/department/agency.

Alpha-Hotel – when you want to say A**Hole but don’t want anyone hearing you say A**Hole. “Man, that guy was a real Alpha-Hotel.”

Shorty – a nickname for girls/women. “Shorty sure looked fine last night.”

Honey Stop – stopping a car because the officer thinks the driver is good looking/wants to meet them. “I can’t believe she married that loser. Met him during a honey stop is what I heard.”

“Hey, Shorty, you’re sure lookin’ good tonight. And girl, those curls and that hat, well, they’re da’ bomb!”

Bullet – a one year prison sentence.

Ink – tattoo(s)

Pruno – alcohol made in jail or prison by inmates. Also known as hooch.

Five-O – the police. AKA: Po-Po, Barney, Bacon, Bear, the Law, Pig.

 

Lot Lizard – prostitute who works the parking lots at truck stops.

Detentionitis – mysterious and sudden ailments that strike people the moment they realize they’re to be arrested. “Oh, Lawdy, I can’t go to jail. I’m having a heart-a-stroke-appendicitigangrenified-triple-powered-seizure.”

Catch a Ride – share someone’s drugs. “Hey, Dude. Can I catch a ride?”

Maggot – criminal (AKA – dirtbag, scum, mope, a**hole). “Store owner says a couple of maggots walked in the front door. He knew something was up because the first guy in was sweating a lot and constantly looking outside. Next thing he knows is they each pull out a pistol and start screaming for him to hand over the money.”

Maggot Mobile – car belonging to a maggot. See above definition of maggot. “That sounds like Little Pauly’s car. Drive by his place and see if that piece-of-crap maggot mobile is in the driveway. If so, bring him in.”

Lampin’ – hanging out under a street light. Those who do consider that spot as their turf.

Duck Detective – Fish and Game/Wildlife officer. “Be sure you have your hunting license with you. Joe-Billy, Jr. said the duck detectives are out in full force today.”

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Searching a Home is No Picnic

Searching someone’s home for evidence of a crime is no picnic. Not even close. Well, there is a chance you’ll encounter a host of warm and fuzzy creatures of various types, similar to those you’d expect to see in the great outdoors or in cages marked KEEP AWAY: DANGER TO HUMANS!!!

And, you might find yourself wishing you were outside enjoying fresh air instead of the thick funk that sometimes lingers in and around the interior of the places some people call home sweet home.

For example, during the executions of search warrants and looking for bad guys who might’ve been hiding out beneath someone’s bed, I’ve discovered:

 

 

• While searching a bedroom dresser drawer for stolen jewelry I found a pair of dirty underwear wedged in a back corner. When I say dirty, I mean the wearer had not made it to the bathroom in time to … well, you know. So they simply removed the soiled panties along with their contents and shoved them in with the clean clothes where they’d remained until I discovered them.
• I opened a closet door and thought I heard the sound of raindrops hitting a tin roof. I pointed my flashlight up toward the ceiling and saw thousands of roaches dropping from the ceiling to the shelves and floor below. By that time my clothing was covered with them. I could not get out of there fast enough.
• Let’s just say it’s never a good idea to lift the cover from any five-gallon bucket found inside a house with no running water. It’s the “bathroom.”
• Yes, those dozens upon dozens of marks in the grease on top of the stove and inside the frying pan were indeed the footprints of mice/rats. And those thousands of tiny black things scattered about were not pieces of pepper.
• Mice and roaches crawling across the flesh of babies lying on the floor, in cribs, on mattresses, etc.
• A dead woman perched in a recliner. She’d been dead for several days and the family simply left her sitting there. And, they’d been watching TV and eating meals with the dearly departed grandma not more than ten feet away.
• A small dog who wanted to play and would not take no for an answer. So between searching closets and dresser drawers I was forced to play fetch with mini-Rover. It was either that or listen to nonstop barking and a constant tugging on the cuff of my pant leg. If I ignored the little pooch for too long it grabbed a shoestring and backed away until my laces became untied.
• A small kid who called me daddy, over and over again. I promise, I’d never met his mom nor had I ever been to the house before. But the lad was equally as insistent as the little dog who wanted to play fetch. He did not untie my shoes, though.
• A toilet tank is a favorite hiding spot for evidence, so they were one of the first places I looked. One house, though, almost broke me of that habit because the bowl was so “full” the residents of that charming abode had resorted to using the floor to do their business. I’ve walked through cow pastures that were less booby-trapped.
• Speaking of restrooms, there was one where the homeowner kept a mini-fridge on the floor beside the toilet. It was stocked with soft drinks, beer, and assorted snacks. A stack of magazines and books occupied the space on top. The man told me he spent a lot of time in there.
• A 21-foot python curled up in the bathtub of a mobile home. I almost wet my pants when I pulled back the shower curtain.
• A really nice and well-cared-for pot plant decorated as a Christmas tree. It was beautiful. Even had a train running in circles around the base. Presents for the kids, too.
• The home had no heat so the residents burned open fires in the living room inside a metal washtub. No chimney. No fireplace. Just the tub and stack of firewood.
• A bunch of young kids, all under the age of 9, who’d learned to cook and care for themselves because their parents left them alone approximately six weeks prior to a neighbor calling us to check on the children.
• The house with the carcasses of dozens of dead animals throughout the place—dogs, cats, iguanas, rats, a couple of snakes (not sure if they’d been pets or were there to feed on the weakened animals), and what appeared to be a raccoon or opossum. The mummified and/or skeletal remains were just there, willy-nilly. On the floor, atop a twin bed, in a chair, etc. Bizarre. Really bizarre. And the person who lived there simply stepped around them when leading us through the house.
• An entire room packed from wall to wall and floor to ceiling with unopened packages of toilet tissue and paper towels.
• A full-size Harley motorcycle in an upstairs bedroom.
• A naked man hiding in a closet. He didn’t live there and the woman who did claimed to not know him. Her husband seemed as surprised as I was to see the guy step from behind the dresses and pants suits.
• A human hand in the freezer.
• Pot plants growing all around the house, pruned like shrubbery.
• A room set up like a doctor’s office. The woman who lived there performed minor procedures such as Botox injections, removal of varicose veins, etc. By trade she worked in a doctor’s office as a medical assistant. She stole supplies from her workplace and used her “vast” knowledge of medicine to cure the sick from the comfort of her own home. She also performed minor surgery on animals.
• A root doctor who assembled a variety of concoctions to ward off the evils of life. We found the 4′-11″ woman boiling chicken feet and small human bones together in a large stew pot. The human ingredients were stolen from local cemetery and a funeral home.
• Two men having sex in a bedroom (didn’t want to stop even after we’d opened the door) while the wife and children of one of the men watched TV in the family room. The family dog gave us the “please get me out of here” look the moment we first stepped inside.
• A very old and very naked woman seated in a wingback chair while eating ice cream and watching Jerry Springer. The rest of the family carried on like naked grandma was an everyday thing. I suppose it was.

Once, I served a search warrant for drugs and actually found drugs and nothing more. Just gobs of drugs. No odd people. No soiled panties. No one was naked. And no roaches. It was weird. Really weird.

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Street Speak

Hooray for you! You’ve just earned your degree in English Literature and you’re ready to begin an exciting new career. But you quickly learn that all the cool jobs, the ones where you could put your hard-earned knowledge to work are, well, non-existent. Gone. So you do the next best thing … you go to work as a police officer.

Unfortunately, on your very first arrest you find that you can’t understand a single word coming out of the suspect’s mouth. Have you possibly nabbed a foreign spy? Why does the bad guy keep saying he wished his homies hadn’t booked in da’ bomb cause right now they’d be spraying or popping you with a double deuce? You wonder if the department has an on-call translator you could contact.

You call for your supervisor, hoping she can help, but all she does is chuckle and say, “Welcome to our world.”

No, they don’t teach the language of the streets in the police academy. It’s just something you learn as you go. So, for those of you who don’t hang out at the corner of Kill St. and Crack Ave., or in cell block C, here are a few of colorful and flowery words and terms spoken by the little darlin’s of the street.

A-Town – Atlanta, GA

Academy – Prison or jail

Ad Seg – Administrative Segregation; prison disciplinary unit, the “hole”

Agua – Spanish for water – also used as slang for Meth

AK – Semi-automatic weapon; AK-47

Always and forever – Blood for life. Also BFL – Blood For Life

BK – Blood Killer – term used by Crips gang members

Bang’em – Kill a Crip

Be on the nut – Broke. Having no money

Be Real – Prepare for war/a fight

Big Boy – Gang leader

Binky – A prison-made needle

Blast – To assault or kill someone on sight

Blunt – A cigar with most tobacco removed and replaced with marijuana; may also contain cocaine

Bomb – Car, or other vehicle

Brand – Tattoo

Bullet – A one-year jail sentence

Burner – A gun

Chippin’ – Occasional drug use

Cho-mo – Child molester

Cop Shop – Police station or guard’s office (prison)

Cuz – Fellow gang member

Deuce-and-a-half – .25 caliber semi-automatic

Dime – Ten-year prison sentence, or a ten dollar bag of drugs

Do A Ghost – Leave the area/go home/go anywhere but where you are at the moment

Do A Jack – Commit a robbery

Double Deuce – .22 caliber handgun

Draped – Wearing lots of flashy jewelry

Flag – Gang colors

Four-five – .45 caliber handgun

Fuggly – exceptionally ugly person

Gauge – Shotgun

Gang Bang – To fight with rival gang members

Gear – Clothing

Gee (or G) – The police

G-ster – Gangster

*More to come

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It’s me, I. B. Steelin, the guy who broke into your car last night. Sorry about having to wear the mask, but I heard a bunch of cops hang out on this site and I can’t risk going back to prison.

Anyway, thanks for leaving so many goodies on the front seat. Caught my eye right away. My kids needed the new iPod, and the wife will absolutely love the purse. Louis Vuitton, right?

Your neighbors were equally as generous. The blue house two doors down … left their car doors unlocked again, so a quick stab at the remote and BINGO, up goes the garage door. What a field day that was … power tools and a small TV (perfect for the kids’ room, by the way). I also took a quick peek inside the house. They’ve got a really sweet flat screen and I’ll definitely be back for it another night.

Across the street … Yep, the people with the BMW. Sunroof was open so I took the gym bag from the back seat. Not much inside but the bag was nice. The best part, though, was what I found in the glove compartment. All sorts of documents containing personal information—social security numbers, addresses, pin numbers, bank statements (I see some new charge accounts opening in the very near future), a letter from the alarm company saying they hated losing BMW’s business and that service could be reinstated for the low, low price of $19.95 per month and, well, let’s just say it was a real smorgasbord. My favorite thing, though, was the key ring … front door key, key to the business downtown, the tool shed, the rear gate…(yep, they were labeled).

There was a blue SUV on the next block. Two boxes in the rear—a microwave and a projector for a home theater. Spotted them from the street while passing by. The owner should’ve taken the time to pull the built-in cover over the cartons. But, easy money for me. Took a rock from the landscaping beside the driveway and those two sweet items were quickly in my greedy little paws. The cards read, Congratulations, Billie! So thank you very much, Billie, for whatever you did that almost earned you a couple of nice, new gifts. Mine now.

Actually, the entire neighborhood was easy-pickings. Lawns not mowed (a sure sign no one had been home for a while), newspapers piled up in the driveway, mailboxes overflowing, windows open, no lights in houses and yards, garage doors up, lawn mowers and bicycles left outside, no curtains on garage and basement windows, and there was even one house with a note pinned to the front door—“Be Back Tomorrow. Please Leave Deliveries In Kitchen. Key Under Mat.” Well, Duh. Loved the cheesecake in the fridge, by the way. And those homemade cookies … to die for. Next time, though, a little less sugar and maybe an alternative to wheat flour. Some of us can’t eat gluten.

Okay, that’s enough for now, but I’ll be back for the rest of your things. Unless, of course, you start using some common sense and lock up, close the sunroof, turn on a light or two, and activate those alarms. Until then, you’re just another number in the nearly two million thefts from vehicles that occur every twelve months. That number is indeed correct and, as a result, my friends and I steal well over a BILLION items from cars each and every year.

So, thank you very much for helping us achieve our personal goals.

And, as Arnold Schwarzenegger famously said, “I’ll be back.”

By the way, don’t bother looking for your collection of Terminator DVD’s. I took them. Kindergarten Cop, too.

Hey, here’s my impression of Schwarzenegger in The Running Man. Love that movie, and thanks to your neighbor I have a copy.

See you soon!

Oh, don’t wait up, I have a key. I made a copy before I slipped yours back under the mat.