0200 hrs.

Fog.

Wispy,

Whirling and swirling.

Streetlight.

A lone bat,

Looping and swooping.

Night sounds.

Frogs.

Crickets.

A train whistle, far away.

Radio.

Crackling.

Voices in the night air.

Prowler.

A noise outside.

“I’ll take it.”

“10-4.”

“Backup?”

“Negative.”

Front porch light.

Moth.

Flittering and fluttering.

Flower bed.

Weeds.

Leaves,

Leftovers from last fall,

Ticking and clicking.

Across the weathered porch floor,

Pushed by a gentle breeze.

Wooden swing.

Rusted chain.

Crooked.

Front door.

Needs paint.

Loose knob.

A knock.

Door swings inward,

Slowly.

Hinges.

Creaking and groaning.

Open,

Just a crack.

Tiny face, crinkled with time,

And of days long since passed.

“I heard them again, Officer.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Damp, anxious eyes.

Faded gray.

“They were at the window, like before.”

“I’ll check around back.”

“You’re too kind.”

I wish my Bill was still here.”

“I know.”

“He’s been gone ten years this week.”

“A good man.”

“Thank you.

Coffee?

It’s fresh.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Two sugars and a little cream, right?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Be right back.”

Outside.

Flashlight.

Waiting.

Passing time.

Neighbor’s house, dark.

Furnace, humming.

Rattles, then stops.

Quiet.

Two minutes pass.

Kitchen window.

Brightly lit.

Darting here and there.

Full coffee pot.

Silver tray.

Cookies.

Cups.

Saucers.

Spoons.

For two.

Screen door.

Creaking.

Thump.

“Everything’s okay, Ma’am.”

“Oh, I do feel better now,

Thank you.

Coffee’s ready.

Come inside.”

Warm smells.

Vanilla. Fresh bread. Coffee.

“It’s just with Bill gone…”

“I know.”

A downward glance.

Wall clock.

Ticking and tocking.

A sigh.

A tear.

Silence.

Tick, tick, tick.

“Would you mind if I sat for a minute?”

A sniffle.

“I’m tired, and really shouldn’t drive.

After all, how would it look,

A cop asleep at the wheel?”

A smile.

Relief.

Just like last night.

And the night before.

And the night before.

At 0200,

Ten years after her Bill passed away.

Friday's Heroes - Remembering the fallen officers

 

lancaster

Detective Brad D. Lancaster, 39

Kansas City Kansas Police Department

May 9, 2016 – Detective Brad Lancaster was shot and killed after responding to assist patrol officers who’d received a call about a suspicious person at a local business. The suspect fled on foot but Detective Lancaster located him in a nearby field. The suspect then shot the detective twice and stole his unmarked police car to flee the area. He later carjacked a vehicle, abducting the two children in the backseat. He soon carjacked a second vehicle and fled to Kansas City, Mo. where he crashed during a pursuit with police. He shot a citizen and attempted a third carjacking but was shot by a Kansas City, Mo. police officer who also took the man into custody.

 

Corpus delicti, the main object of a crime. It’s proof that a crime has taken place. In the case of murder, the body is the corpus delicti, a detail that’s often the focus of mystery and crime fiction.

Writers go to great lengths to help the enthusiastic reader leave the comfort of their homes to accompany the protagonist as he or she embarks on a quest to solve a carefully plotted crime. And, during the writing process, writers sometimes travel a few feet past the expected “extra mile.” A step that sometimes lands them at the bottom of a freshly dug hole.

So let’s examine the dreaded “hole” and how not to write yourself into one. To begin, we’ll ask the feds to assist. Keep in mind that the hole mentioned below is the overwritten scene in your current WIP, the one your critique partners want you to revisit but you think is fine as is.

Ready? Okay, let’s take a brief walk into the woods where we see…

FBI_Evidence_Response_Team_2

Now we must ask ourselves, how many federal agents does it take to look into a hole?

Easy answer – Six.

One to do the official looking.

One to observe the looker to be sure the civil rights of nearby squirrels aren’t violated.

One to video the event, confirming that no rights were violated and that the opening in the earth is indeed a hole.

One to collect samples of the void for laboratory analysis (eight scientists will later conduct tests that will confirm nothing was there).

One Assistant Agent in Charge to supervise the operation, call in air support and ground teams that include two dozen agents who’ll scour the forest for clues and to sample the surrounding air for possible matches to air found in the hole. The ASAC will also bring in a few number-crunchers who’ll begin a 12-year study about holes and their role in climate change and the fluctuation of the violent crime rate. A parallel study will examine holes and their significance in the extinction of the wooly mammoth. Homeland Security will also be called in to provide perimeter security and to install video and audio surveillance equipment to record any movement or increase in size of the hole, an act that could be related to terrorism. Seven heavily-armed drones are on standby.

Finally, the last team member is the Special Agent in Charge whose duty is to supervise the ASAC. The SAC will also appear on camera as the official spokesperson at all news conferences. The appearances will serve as a lead-up to running for political office.

Media sources catch wind of the investigation and run stories with headlines such as:

FEDS UNCOVER MASSIVE HOLE IN EARTH CONTAINING SUSPICIOUS INVISIBLE REMAINS: END OF TIMES COVER UP?

And:

#HOLESLIVESMATTER GROUP TO MARCH AT LOCATION OF RIGHTS-VIOLATED HOLE IN GROUND

The president orders the Justice Department to investigate. The hole is invited to the White House for a beer and a private concert by Courtney Love and her former band, HOLE. The local police department is disbanded. Two senators are impeached. A no-fly zone is established over the area. Segregated safe spaces are created for all woodland creatures. An executive order was issued requiring all animals to pee behind the same tree. No one is permitted to say “Trump” or “Hillary.” The speech restriction is so stringent that one agent was suspended for two weeks without pay for saying,” This place is hilly.” Of course, the press ran with it, turning the phrase into, “FEDERAL AGENT BLAMES HILLARY FOR HOLE COVER UP.” A second headline read, “TRUMP TO BUILD WALL AROUND HOLE.”

All local universities and other schools are placed on indefinite lockdown. California residents, although 2,000 miles away, are ordered to shut off all water. CVS stores across the country are immediately evacuated in preparation for imminent destruction by fire. The National Guard surrounds all bird sanctuaries to prevent hostile takeovers. Bernie continues to promise free everything and Ted Cruz removes his Grandpa Munster mask and goes into hiding. Sarah Palin is speechless. It’s total and complete CHAOS!

Total cost for Operation Hole in the Ground – $242 million. Official finding = It’s a hole.

Finally…

Moral of the story? A hole is just a hole and it doesn’t take two pages of unnecessary words to describe it, unless you’re an employee of the federal government, in which case a 1,200 page report is acceptable as a first draft.

So write only what’s needed to further the story. Trim the excess and cut the fat. For example, a shortened version of the “hole” story:

Ralph Bumberner took a walk in the woods behind his house, searching for a place to bury his wife’s body. He came across a hole—six feet by four—but decided it was too close to the house and would be easy for police to find, especially the FBI agent who lived down the road, so he continued walking. He made a mental note of the location, though, so he wouldn’t stumble into the shallow pit while dragging Myrtle to her final resting place.

Elmore Leonard had this to say in 10 Rules of Writing.  – “My most important piece of advice to all you would-be writers: When you write, try to leave out all the parts readers skip.”

*No federal agents were harmed during the writing of this article. References to those brave law enforcement officials were purely tongue-in-cheek. Myrtle, however, didn’t make it.

 

 

Seek the truth and thou shalt be in light ~ the book of Castle

Due to a series of recent hacking attempts into this site, we installed new high-tech security enhancements. Part of those heightened protections include some pretty fancy cameras strategically placed throughout The Graveyard Shift office compound.

Well, last night the cameras caught an intruder who left a note tacked to the bulletin board hanging on the wall next to my desk. Yes, it was Melanie. But she slipped out and back into hiding before we were able to speak with her.

So, if anyone knows where we can find Melanie please do contact us before something bad happens to her. She needs an intervention and she needs it now, before it’s too late. Perhaps a heartfelt message from Nathan Fillion, or Seamus Dever, would bring her to her senses. Whatever you do, though, keep the showrunners away from the interior of her books because I’m quite certain they’d quickly meet their demise within those pages.

Anyway, here’s the note she left last night. We’re examining it for possible clues.

Screen Shot 2016-05-10 at 10.38.20 AM

Should you decide to hit the streets as part of your search for Melanie, here’s a flyer for you to pass around and to attach to telephone poles and sign posts.

Screen Shot 2016-05-10 at 11.21.06 AM

To broaden our own search efforts, we’ve been in touch with major milk companies who’ve agreed to start a nationwide “Have You Seen Melanie” campaign. Starting today they’ll be distributing new cartons like this one.

Screen Shot 2016-05-10 at 11.03.59 AM

In the meantime, the show must go on.

Where do I begin? With Hayley and Alexis doing their best to annoy viewers with their larger than life abilities to do what NYPD detectives cannot, even though the NYPD is one of the top investigative agencies in the world? How about Hayely handling a piece of vital crime scene evidence, an ax, while police CSU team members go about their business doing other things? Of course, I was disappointed when ax-weilding escapee Gabriel Shaw didn’t end our misery by hacking Hayley and Alexis off the show and out of our lives, but…they live on to ruin another episode.

Speaking of the ax… Why was it so bloody if Shaw hadn’t used it to kill anyone? And, someone (a member of the CSU unit, I suppose) packaged it in clear plastic. That’s a big no-no. Wet evidence is always packaged in paper containers—bags, cardboard boxes, etc. The reason for the paper packaging is because plastic is a breeding ground/incubator for bacteria, and bacteria can destroy or degrade DNA evidence. A good rule of thumb – Wet evidence (things containing blood, semen, saliva, etc.) = paper packaging. Dry evidence (narcotics, soil, etc.) = plastic packaging.

Evidence packaging – Paper or Plastic.

Lanie said the victim bled to death due to a wound on his left side, and that whatever he was stabbed with most likely punctured his subclavian artery. Once the artery was cut the victim lived for thirty minutes to one hour, tops.

Time for a quick anatomy lesson.

There are two subclavian arteries,. The left subclavian artery, the one Lanie mentioned, extends from the arch of the aorta to the left side of the upper body. The right subclavian artery extends from the brachiocephalic artery (an artery that carries blood to the head) to the right side of the upper body. Subclavian arteries extend across the anterior (front) surface of the upper lining that encloses the lungs. This lining is called the pleura. At the outer border of the first rib, each subclavian artery becomes an axillary artery. The axillary artery supplies blood to the upper arm and chest.

Subclavian Artery Branches are arteries that branch from the subclavian arteries include the vertebral arteries, internal thoracic artery, thyrocervical artery, costocervical artery, and dorsal scapular artery.

In the image below you’ll see the aortic arch, which is just above the heart. It is there, at the arch, where the two subclavian aorta originate.

Gray505

From this point at the aortic arch, the subclavian arteries extend to the arms. These are the two main arteries that supply blood to the arms.

The image below shows the path of the subclavian artery. The point I’m making, and this is basically for writers, is that at no time does the subclavian pass along the left “side” as Lanie suggested.

Screen Shot 2016-05-10 at 12.55.36 PM

Even if the subclavian was located in the victim’s left side, there’s no way Lanie could’ve seen the damage to it because the victim was fully clothed, including a shirt and a coat. And he was on the floor, face down.

Next, Voodoo Lanie tells us the fatal wound had been inflicted by “some sort of talon, or claw.” Puhleeze. How the H. E. double hockey sticks would she know that merely by looking at the puncture. She went on to say she’d found a strange substance (sulphur) inside the wound. This conclusion was made while the victim was still on the autopsy table. Toxicology/lab tests are not that quick. Not even close.

Lets go back to Hayley and Alexis, who continued to annoy throughout the show, by the way. These two clowns were shown pawing through Castle’s secret vault (so stupid) and cataloging the items there. This place contained evidence of a serious crime and should’ve been under police control. Police investigators should’ve been the people there doing the investigating, not those two who’re playing Nancy Drew dress-up games.

Why is Vikram at the precinct? What’s his purpose? Does the NYPD need an unknown outsider’s assistance to “clean up” photos? Is the entire precinct so inept that the only people who can solve murders are Vikram, a total stranger who has access to the entire NYPD surveillance stuff and other inner-workings of a major police agency? Then there’s Alexis, the instant computer genius who’s the offspring of Castle, another civilian who runs the entire NYPD. Finally, we have Hayley jammed down our throats. She’s a character who constantly breaks the law, yet she’s allowed inside crime scenes, carries a firearm into the precinct, shoots people, etc.

It seems that the two main detectives—Ryan and Esposito—have taken a backseat to Alexis and Hayley, and this is not a good thing. Besides, it’s dumb to have the NYPD criminal cases run by outsiders instead of the police. Dumb, dumb, and dumb.

But, this fiasco is almost over. One more episode before, well, you know…

Oh, was it just me or are you, too, getting a strange feeling about Alexis and Hayley? They’re sure beginning to act like a couple. Now wouldn’t that be a twist. Hmm…

Anyway, this episode fell a bit flat. It seemed empty and cold, and part of that is because Caskett is already dead. There’s no spark between the two leads in spite of all the mentions (and there were several—too many) of playing naked Twister.

Yep, the fork is in and the food-involved woman has begun to sing.

 

 

Jack Renner is a vigilante, I suppose, in the strict definition of the word, but I don’t think of him like that. He is more a serial killer who believes he is working on the side of the angels, except that unlike serial killers he is not deranged and derives no pleasure from killing. He doesn’t go after those who have personally affected him and he doesn’t sneer How do you like it, punk? as he dispatches them. To him it’s purely a matter of practicality. He empathizes with his victims to a certain extent—the world is a rough place and turns innocent children into snarling brutes with regularity. So he ends their life the way a responsible farmer might regretfully shoot a rabid fox.

vigilante patch

Being a responsible author, I researched the subject of vigilantism for my book That Darkness—or at least tried to. I read books on topics ranging from the history and progression of superhero comic books to books on prison reform. I couldn’t find—anywhere–a real life example of a Paul Kersey, the character Charles Bronson famously played in the movie Death Wish. Cases such as Bernard Goetz and George Zimmerman don’t count for my purposes, since they acted only when they felt personally threatened whereas Jack Renner believes his actions are not remotely personal. Whether he’s lying to himself or not is a question for a therapist.

Thus I discovered that very little is known of vigilantes. They might be tremendously popular in fiction, but in real life they’re as rare no-calorie snacks that actually taste good. Most known ‘vigilantes’ are groups of people who monitor and prevent—Guardian Angels, Minutemen, the neighborhood watch.

guardian angels

Most people join these groups because they think it’s the right thing to do, a way to protect their own and give back to a society they value. Often they stick with these groups because they reflect their vision of manhood, the strong protector, the stoic sentry; it’s a way to feel virtuous about feeling potent. They don’t, of course, actually kill anyone. On the other hand most serial killers kill people because they think it’s jolly good fun and don’t give a damn for the betterment of society.

Vigilante films, if perhaps not actual vigilantes, came out of the 1970s when crime was skyrocketing (or at least growing—crime rates actually peaked in the ‘90s but the ‘70s retain this aura of chaotic lawlessness) and the police were seen as having been hamstrung by new civil rights laws such as the 1966 Miranda ruling. Feeling scared and frustrated are familiar themes in today’s world. Cops are frustrated because attorneys plead or dismiss cases that represent weeks or months of work. Attorneys are frustrated because juries want DNA and a confession written in blood before they’ll convict or exonerate. Citizens are because we have huge prisons but innocent people still get convicted and the guilty aren’t always caught. Lowlifes are because they keep getting picked up on the same piddling stuff while white collar criminals spend a few years in Club Fed. Kids are because they think adults should have figured all this stuff out by now and adults are because they think kids are never going to put down the PS3 and get off the couch. Everybody’s frustrated.

And out of this frustration, novels are born.

The question in my particular novel, of course, is what Jack will do when confronted by a fox who isn’t rabid? A fox like, say, forensic specialist Maggie Gardiner, a strong, smart, quite law-abiding woman who has discovered his pattern and begins to follow it, right up to his door.

Jack won’t stop…but neither will Maggie.

that darkness cover

*    *     *

Lisa Black has spent over 20 years in forensic science, first at the coroner’s office in Cleveland Ohio and now as a certified latent print examiner and CSI at a Florida police dept. Her books have been translated into 6 languages, one reached the NYT Bestseller’s List and one has been optioned for film and a possible TV series.

 

Any cop will tell you that just when they think they’ve heard it all, well, along comes another excuse that tops all the rest. Here’s how some people justified their illegal activities. All I can say is, “Hmm…

1. “Why am I driving naked, Officer? Well…all my clothes are dirty so I was going to my friend’s house to borrow something to wear to work. And I was speeding because it’s cold and the heat’s not working. No seat belt? You noticed that, huh? Can’t wear the things because the material causes my skin to break out. Why is there a gun on the seat? Isn’t that obvious, sir? I don’t have any pockets available at the moment. Duh… I thought you guys were supposed to be trained observers.”

2. “Please don’t give me a ticket. I didn’t slow down for the red light because I just got new brakes on my car—they were expensive, too—and I didn’t want to wear them out already. Geez, you being a cop and all, I thought you’d understand that sort of thing. Don’t they teach you about this stuff in the police academy? A little common sense. That’s all I’m asking for here.”

3. “I had to steal that stuff, Officer. How else was I going to get enough money to pay my court fees and child support? I certainly didn’t want to go to jail.”

4. “Because I had to go to the bathroom. That’s why I was driving 95 in a 55. You don’t believe me, then look.” The wet spot on her jeans verified her claim. She still received the ticket.

5. “I threw a football and it landed on the roof of that store, officer. Honest. And when I climbed up there to get it I fell through that hole you see. The bag of burglary tools? I guess they were already up there. Must’ve fallen through when I did.”

6. “It’s not my car. That’s why I was driving so fast. The pedals are different, or something.”

7. “What? No way! I’ve got you this time. You can’t give me a speeding ticket because I don’t have a driver’s license. Joke’s on you, officer.”

8. “I must’ve fallen asleep inside the store just before they closed. The safe? No, I wasn’t trying to steal it. The door was locked so I used it to break the glass so I could get out, not in. See, I’m claustrophobic. No way I could stay in that place all night. The money. That’s mine. I had it when I went in the store. Yep, all $2,000. Every penny of it. No, I’m between jobs right now.  No, I don’t have an address. Well, not exactly. Yeah, the Union Mission over on 123rd. But only until I get a place of my own.”

9. “Yes, I have a doctor’s note, just not with me. Right, it authorizes me to NOT wear a seat belt because it pinches the skin around my nipple rings.”

10. “I was driving that fast, officer, because I’d had WAY too much to drink and I wanted to get home before I got sick. You wouldn’t want me to puke in your car, right?”

11. “I didn’t mean to shoot him, officer. I was aiming for someone else.”

12. “She’s my wife and I’ll beat her if I want to. Ain’t no law against that, now is there?”

13. “‘Cause he needed killin’. That’ why I done it.”

14. “I stole her TV because she didn’t give me none of her tax refund money.”

15. “How did I cut my hand? Not by breaking the window at the auto parts store. Oh, you didn’t mention that place, did you? I guess you got me.”

16. “I couldn’t have made those obscene phone calls because I don’t own a phone. The one in my pocket? That’s my sister’s phone and she don’t allow me to use it.

17. “I didn’t rob this store because I didn’t know it was here until I got here.”

18. “I was speeding because the needle was on E and I was trying to get to a store in a hurry before I ran out of gas.”

19. “Yeah, I robbed him. He stole my dope so I took his money.”

20. “He was already dead when I killed him.”

And that’s only twenty. The list is practically endless.

  • Bonus response. “No, I weren’t peeping in her window. My pants? I was taking a shortcut through the lady’s yard and they fell down, so I took ’em off. I was next to her window ’cause I wanted to ask her if she had a belt I borrow.”

 

Friday's Heroes - Remembering the fallen officers

 

sergeant-jorge-ramos

Sergeant Jorge Ramos, 39

Florida Department of Corrections

May 1, 2016 – Sergeant Jorge Ramos died two days after collapsing during an emergency response team competition. He is survived by his wife and daughter.

investigator-anthony-tj-freeman

Investigator Anthony “TJ” Freeman, 29

Bibb County Georgia Sheriff’s Office

May 5, 2016 – Investigator TJ Freeman was killed when his patrol vehicle was intentionally rammed by a car driven by a wanted suspect. He is survived by his wife and two children.

 

Readers want to become invested in the characters in their favorite books, and it’s the job and duty of writers to make that happen. Therefore, to prevent taking their fans down the wrong road, most writers spend a great deal of their time developing the people in their stories.

The hard-earned fruits of an author’s labor during this development stage often results in straight-shootin’, tall-in-the-saddle fictional characters who come with intriguing backstories and interesting current personal lives. They love, they hate, and they’re flawed in ways that make our hearts go pitter-patter. Yes, we love reading about drug-using, cursing alcoholics who smoke, regularly use violence, and who can shoot the hair off a gnat’s rear end. And those are those are the good guys.

But to read an entire book that’s solely about a super-cool man or woman who meanders about town smiling and helping old people cross main street each time Geritol and Depends go on sale at Happy Jack’s Corner Drugstore would be, well, boring. So, to transform unimaginative into exciting and interesting, it’s important that writers turn to Isaac Newton’s first cousin, Jerome “Winky” Newton, for a bit of advice.

Remember, it was Isaac said, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Well, Isaac sort of stole part of his law from cousin Winky who, after reading a tale featuring the aforementioned meandering, smiling street-crosser, made his own profound statement of, “For every action there’s an opposite reaction that’s not quite as equal, but it’s pretty doggone close to it and it’s one the hero of a book must overcome. It’s what makes the story interesting.”

Yes, that’s a direct quote.

Here’s a bit of trivia for you – Newton family rumors have it that it was Winky who was struck on the head by the falling apple, an act that caused him to spontaneously utter his own statement, words that Isaac promptly stole and turned into his third law. Until that day, he’d only written two and had been suffering from a terrible bout of writer’s block.

Anyway, back to Winky Newton’s Law and how it applies to today’s writer. For a tall tale to work properly there must be, of course, a totally compelling protagonist. AND, there must be a compelling antagonist, so sayeth the great and powerful Winky Newton. And Winky is right, writers should spend equal amounts of time creating both the hero and the bad guy (remember, an antagonist does not have to be an evil villain – see The Secrets to Creating and Writing Compelling Villains).

After Winky passed away, the family discovered his journal, a small book that included a list of rules further explaining his profound Law. Here are three relevant points to ponder.

  • Being crazy is not enough to make a good bad guy a good character. The author must show the reader WHY the evil one sees Elvis in his freezer. Maybe as a child his mother locked him in the freezer while she sat on the floor outside playing “You Ain’t Nothing But a Hound Dog” on the ukulele. Backstory is important, even for the major bad guys.
  • Writers should take time to view the world through the eyes of the antagonist. Place yourself on their street. Talk to their neighbors. Playing fetch on the front lawn with their dog. Step down into their rat-infested basement where they keep the butcher knives and body parts. How would they think? What would they see? What do they eat? What odors do you detect inside their homes? Do they walk with a limp? Do they smoke?
  • At some point during the writing process, take a moment to join the antagonist as he sits waiting for the hero to come walking along the path that leads to the end of the story. While the two of you are sitting together on that log, park bench, or inside the final victim’s home, the two of you can watch and see where it is the hero must travel to reach you. You can discuss the hurdles he’d need to overcome, and you can experience the emotions felt when you see the hero approaching. You’ll feel the anxiety levels increase and it is this moment when you’ll know what you must do to create that much-needed midpoint tension and what needs to be done in order to prepare for the finale.

*By the way, Isaac Newton has a solid place in today’s crime fiction. Remember his third law, the one he sort of stole from Winky – “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Well, keep this one in mind when you write about people shooting guns. If the blast is enough to send a victim flying backward through a door, then the same force is there in reverse and your shooter would also fly backward through the opposite door. Therefore, when the police arrive at the scene they’d find two unconscious people, one in the backyard and one in the front.

Typically, when people are shot they simply fall down and bleed.

For fun, here are some additional things writers often get wrong about police, crime, and criminals.

 

 

 

Television and film has ruined humans. Totally destroyed them. Hollywood turned what used to be upright-walking mammals with keen minds into people who believe cops can look at a bullet wound and immediately know what the shooter had for breakfast last Thursday. TV has turned our brains into boiling and roiling and festering soups of forensic mush.

Please, allow me to explain… Cops don’t taste suspected drugs. CSI folks do not rappel from skyscrapers to chase down a suspected serial killer (they collect evidence, not create it by falling 80 stories to the pavement below). And no, writers should never, ever use TV as a catchall research source. NOT EVER.

I know, TV portrays the job of CSI’s and forensic scientists as extremely glamorous and exciting. They show these characters driving cool cars and conducting fancy tests in darkened rooms, producing instant “aha” moments that lead to the immediate arrest of the dreaded three-headed-destroy-the-world boogeyman du jour.

Well, the reality is…and this is between us…that’s NOT reality. In fact, forensic scientists work in brightly lit labs and offices where they do this…

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Laboratory Testing of Suspected Blood Sample

  1. Moisten a cotton swab with distilled water and use it to gently rub suspected stain.
  2. Add one drop of ethanol.
  3. Add one drop of 1:5 dilution of phenolphthalein.
  4. Add one drop of 3% hydrogen peroxide.
  5. Note any color change. An immediate pink color is expected if blood is present.
  6. Add one drop of tetramethylbenzidine stock solution.
  7. Note any color change. An immediate blue-green color is expected if blood is present.

Time to interpret the results:

Positive for blood = Immediate pink color at step 5 followed by an immediate bluish-green color at step 7.

Negative results = no color change at steps 5 and 7.

Inconclusive = any results other than the above.

Laboratory Testing for Blood Using Luminol and/or BlueStar

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  1. In darkened conditions, spray suspected bloodstain with Luminol or Bluestar
  2. Areas containing blood will luminesce immediately. If not, the test result is negative. Weak luminescence is an inconclusive result that could be caused by the chemical contacting  copper, some bleaches and paints, plant matter (carrots for one) and even horseradish, all of which cause a reaction when exposed to luminal or BlueStar.

Toxicology

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A common misconception that’s often found in books and on TV and film is that toxicology tests return results for every known chemical, poison, and drug known to man. Not so. Testing is specific. For example, here are the more commonly “tested for” drugs based on a predetermined panel. Anything else is extra and must be specified. Otherwise it will remain as unknown. (Panels may vary depending upon laboratory policy).

Postmortem Tox Panel

Barbiturates Benzodiazepines Carisoprodol
Cocaine metabolite Fentanyl
Methadone Methamphetamine/MDMA

Uncontrolled

Opiates

Oxycodone/Oxymorphone

PCP

Zolpidem

Extra Panel

Amphetamine
Acetaminophen
Acetylsalicylic acid (salicylate)

Analytes run individually by request

Buprenorphine

Fun Forensics Facts

  1. Prior to testing material for the presence of semen, spermatozoa  must be extracted from the substrate. The process involves a spatula, a bit of teasing and soaking, a pair of tweezers, and a dissecting needle. You are free to use your imaginations.
  2. Tools used in the lab to detect the presence of urine – tweezers, litmus paper, scissors, a scalpel, and some corks. Again, let your imaginations take it from here.

 

 

“It was a Hollywood promise. Not worth a damn.” ~ Castle

Melanie didn’t show up for work again today, the second Tuesday in a row. I heard through the grapevine that’s she’s gone into hiding since the show took such a drastic turn for the worse. However, she still has a key to the office which explains the note I found attached to my bulletin board this morning. I think it’s intended for you guys…

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So, out of concern for her wellbeing, I’ve decided to search for Melanie and I’d appreciate your help. I have a few places to check, her usual haunts (writers conferences, the Writers’ Police Academy, etc.). In the meantime, would you please head over to another of her hangouts. Click the link below for directions.

Where’s Melanie?

Here’s a photo for you take with you. You might want to print a few copies to pass around.

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Now, before we all head out on our “Where’s Melanie” search and rescue mission, let’s quickly discuss the police procedure and forensics in last night’s episode. To kick off the discussion here’s a little fellow who caught every single detail.

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That’s right, you just heard the sound of crickets chirping, and that’s because there’s basically nothing to discuss. What little procedure we did see was minuscule. But there are a couple of things to point out.

First, did you notice the absence of Lividity Lanie? In fact, the only mention of that usual aspect of the show came from Esposito when he said, “M.E. places the time of death between 8 and 11 p.m.”

I know, Tamala Jones has a large fan base, but this is what I’ve been saying for several years…her character, as they’ve written her, is a total and unnecessary distraction. A waste of our time and the network’s budget. Lanie Parrish M.E. added nothing to the show. As a friend, girlfriend, etc., sure. but even that role is not needed.

The entire “based on lividity” crapfest we’ve seen each week was far better handled by Espo’s simple line above. We don’t need to hear horribly incorrect science to move the story along when those cringeworthy scenes could be replaced by a simple line or two. So yes, “M.E. places the time of death between 8 and 11 p.m,” said a lot using very few words. Sorry Tamala, but I call it as I see it, and I suppose that’s why I’m the bad cop.

Esposito and Ryan threatened a suspect by saying they could have a federal prisoner shipped to either a location that’s favorable/close for family visits, or to a facility so far away from family that it would make visitation nearly impossible. This is a very real “thing” that happens in the federal prison system. The BOP (Bureau of Prisons) has the authority and the means to transfer prisoners to a facility of their choosing, and they do so for a variety of reasons—security issues, safety of the inmate, staff, and/or the community, and disciplinary reasons (they might say they don’t transfer as a form of punishment, but…). Inmates may also request transfers to move closer to their family, future work, special schools or training not available at their current location, pre-release drug rehab classes, etc.

Keep in mind, though, that local police, and even the courts, have absolutely no control over what goes on within the federal prison system, and this includes inmate transfers.

So, speaking of Ryan and Esposito… We saw more of them this week and that’s always a good thing. The chemistry between them this week was over the top good. Will we see more of them as this dreadful season nears its end? Are we seeing a preview of future possibilities? Hmm…

Finally, and this was fantastic in my book…no Alexis and no Hayley! Two, count ’em, two home runs! In their absence, we saw Juliana Dever, the wife of Seamus Dever (Ryan) who showed up at the precinct with the couple’s daughter. A cute scene that should’ve happened more frequently over the years. Again, something for the future?  #Jennyisback

Here are a few lines from the show that caught my attention.

  • Stop! Step away from the laptop!
  • Do I look like a man who kills cute?
  • I tripped a drug lord.
  • Typy, typy, typy.
  • For now, crime scene casual. (Beckett said this in response to Castle asking what he should wear).

By the way, did anyone else sense a connection to this storyline and the recent fiasco of Sean Penn interviewing escaped Mexican drug lord El Chapo?

Oh yeah…Castle was kidnapped, again. I think it was his turn to fill the spot in the tiresome boilerplate script.

Overall, not a bad episode, but it was a bit weird.

#boilerplatescripssuck

#Jennyisback