February 2016 - Page 2 of 2

2016 Writers' Police Academy

2016 Writers’ Police Academy Registration and Schedule

In just one week, storytellers from all over the world will be at their computers, anxiously awaiting the opening of registration for the most exciting and thrilling hands-on event ever produced exclusively for writers, the 8th annual Writers’ Police Academy.

This year, we’ve assembled a fantastic program just for you, and we’ve filled it to the brim with nearly 50 individual workshops and training sessions, heart-thumping hands-on action, mountains of much-needed and insider information, lots of cool police toys and equipment for you to try out, top instructors with centuries of combined experience and expertise, exquisite hotel accommodations and food, and much, much more, including the Oneida Casino!

What can you expect to see at the WPA? Well… Drones, police pursuits, shootouts, intake/booking areas, jail and lockup facilities, a maximum security prison, Taser use, fire and firefighters, SWAT teams, firing ranges, ballistics, blood spatter, homicide scenes, K-9’s in action, multimedia live fire simulation training, PIT maneuvers (you’ll be driving the patrol car!), explosives, and more. And more and more and more.

We even have a functional emergency room where it’s up to you to save the life of a wounded patient. Yes, from helicopters to driving a real patrol car during a pursuit to our tactical training house featuring “surprise” interior design features that create hidden realistic dangers for you to experience first-hand, you’ll spend four action-packed days training at a renowned international law enforcement academy. This is the real deal, folks—actual police, fire, EMS, medical, and forensic training. And, Tami Hoag is our guest of honor!

As I mentioned earlier, registration is set to open at noon EST on February 21, 2016. Typically, slots for the WPA fill extremely fast, therefore we highly recommend that you be at your computers and ready to sign up the moment the registration link goes live. We also strongly urge you to reserve your hotel rooms asap. Our room block is filling quickly and once they’re gone we’ll not be able to add more. Currently, with our reserved room block the hotel is sold out.

By the way, we select our workshops and tailor the entire event based on your requests and current writing needs. After all, the WPA is all about YOU!

We started the event back in 2008, and after eight years of experience under our belts we continue to produce and deliver an event that’s described and endorsed by our major sponsor, Sisters in Crime, as “a rightly renowned hands-on interactive experience designed to help writers increase their understanding of all aspects of law enforcement and forensics.”

How important is the Writers’ Police Academy to writers? Why do writers from all over the world attend? Well, here’s what superstar, international bestselling author Lisa Gardner had to say about her experiences at the WPA. “Want to learn how to conduct a presumptive test for human blood? Check. Triage an accident scene? Deliver a high risk warrant? Confront a gunman in a crowded mall? Check, check, and triple check. The Writers Police Academy is where authors go to play… and in my case, where my latest novel was born.” ~ Lisa Gardner – excerpt from an article posted in Signature-reads.com.

Remember, the WPA is not a writers conference. Instead, we are a hands-on training event that’s both exciting and extremely fun. There are no author, agent, or editor panels. No pitch sessions. No classes on writing. No authors promoting their work. No pressure to sell, perform, or to impress fans and readers. Everyone attending the WPA is there for one unified goal…to have a blast and learn a thing or two while doing it.

Below is a list of some of the 2016 WPA workshops. Please do check the website often because we’ll be adding more sessions in the coming days and weeks. While you’re pursuing the site, please take a moment to have a look at the details for the wildly popular Golden Donut Short Story Contest. Winner receives the coveted Golden Donut Award AND a free registration to the 2017 Writers’ Police Academy!

See you soon!

2016 WPA Workshops

– 10 COMMON MISTAKES WRITERS MAKE ABOUT THE LAW

– ARSON INVESTIGATION

– ASIAN AND NATIVE GANGS

– BALLISTICS

– BLOODSTAIN PATTERNS AND SPATTER

– BUILDING/ROOM CLEARING

– CONSTITUTIONAL LAW

– COURTROOM TESTIMONY

– DEATH SCENE INVESTIGATIONS

– DOMESTIC CRIMES

– DRONES

– EMERGENCY DRIVING

– EMS/HEALTH SIMULATOR

– EXPERT WITNESSES AND THEIR TESTIMONY

– EXPLOSIVES/IED’S

– FINGERPRINTING

– FIRE 101

– SHOOT/DON’T SHOOT SCENARIO TRAINING

– FORENSIC ART AND THE COGNITIVE INTERVIEW

– HANDGUN: LIVE-FIRE

– HOW TO THINK LIKE A BAD GUY.

– POLICE K-9’S – TRAFFIC STOPS

– LONG GUN: LIVE-FIRE

– MARTIAL ARTS FOR WRITERS

– MASHED POTATOES OF DEATH: ARE YOU GOING TO EAT THAT?

– MEDICAL EXAMINER V. CORONER

– ONEIDA TRIBAL

– PRISON TOUR

– PRIVATE INVESTIGATION, OR HOW TO BE A DICK FOR FUN & PROFIT

– PTSD – POST TRAUMATIC STRESS

– PURSUIT IMMOBILIZATION TECHNIQUE (PIT)

– REAL COPS FOR REAL WRITERS: THE PSYCHOLOGY OF COPS

– SURPRISES!! *Each year we incorporate surprise sessions that are designed to excite the senses of WPA attendees. The purpose is to allow you to experience “events” that unfold in real time, just as officers and other first responders experience in the real world.

– TASERS

– THE CLINICAL INTERVIEW

– THE STEVEN AVERY CASE: ANALYSIS OF INTERVIEW AND INTERROGATION BY INVESTIGATORS

– THE UNDERCOVER EXPERIENCE

– TRACE EVIDENCE

– TRAFFIC STOPS

– WHY THEY WERE BAD

– WRITING THE POLICE SCENE 101

And more on the way!

(read workshop descriptions here)

*Again, registration opens at noon EST on February 21, 2016. That’s only 8 days away!

February 13, 2016/by Lee Lofland

Friday's Heroes

Friday’s Heroes: Remembering the Fallen

Officer Jason Moszer, 33

Fargo North Dakota Police Department

February 11, 2016 – Officer Jason Moszer was shot and killed while responding to a domestic violence call. The suspect was armed with multiple rifles and had called and told dispatchers he planned to shoot police officers.

Officer Moszer is survived by his wife and two children.

Major Greg “Lem” Barney

Riverdale Georgia Police Department

Major Greg Barney was shot and killed while providing perimeter support for officers serving a warrant at an apartment complex. The suspect ran and encountered the major while attempting to avoid arrest. He shot Major Barney twice and then continued to flee.

Major Barney is survived by his wife and children.

Senior Deputy Patrick Daily

Hartford County Maryland Sheriff’s Office

February 10, 2016 – Senior Deputy Patrick Daily, a 30-year veteran, was shot and killed when he approached a wanted suspect who was seated at a table in a local restaurant.

Deputy Daily is survived by his mother and two children.

Senior Deputy Mark Logsdon

Hartford County Maryland Sheriff’s Office

February 10, 2016 – Senior Deputy Mark Logsdon was shot and killed after responding to reports of a wanted suspect inside a local restaurant. The suspect had already shot and killed Deputy Patrick Daily and was seated in his car when Deputy Logsdon and other deputies located him. The suspect immediately opened fire, striking Deputy Logsdon, who managed to return fire along with the other deputies on the scene. The suspect was killed during the exchange of gunfire.

Deputy Logsdon is survived by his wife, three children, and parents.

Deputy Sheriff Derek Geer, 40

Mesa County Colorado Sheriff’s Office

February 10, 2016 – Deputy Derek Geer succumbed to gunshot wounds received while attempting to detain an armed juvenile. Deputy Geer deployed his Taser, but the juvenile managed to pull a gun and open fire, striking the deputy several times, including in the face. The juvenile suspect fled the scene but was found hiding in a nearby backyard.

Deputy Geer is survived by his wife and two children.

Deputy Sheriff Scott Ballantyne, 52

Tulare County California Sheriff’s Office

February 10, 2016 – Deputy Scott Ballantyne was killed in an airplane crash while assisting deputies on the ground as they searched for an armed suspect.

He is survived by his mother and sister.

Detective Sergeant Jason Gooddard, 39

Seaside Oregon Police Department

February 5, 2016 – Sergeant Jason Goddard was shot and killed as he and another officer attempted to serve a warrant. The officers deployed a Taser but the man was still able to produce a handgun and shoot Sergeant Goddard three times. The other officer on the scene returned fire, killed the suspect.

Sergeant Goddard is survived by his wife and two daughters.

Note – Other officers were shot and wounded this week, including a Savannah, Ga. officer, a Turner County, Ga. deputy, and an Ashburn, Ga. officer. Fortunately they survived.

And…

An off-duty Richmond, Ca. homicide and property crimes police investigator, Augustine “Gus” Vegas, 58, was shot and killed yesterday, in his home.

Augustine “Gus” Vegas, 58

Officer deaths by gunfire are up 700% compared to this time last year.

February 12, 2016/by Lee Lofland

I'm Just Saying

The Worst Lipstick Attack in History

2355 hrs – I signed on for my shift, the first of a string of graveyards. This was a night back in the day when Patty Hearst was in the news, Peter Frampton and his group were asking the country “Do You Feel Like We Do,” and the Son of Sam pulled a gun from a paper bag, the beginning of his reign of terror over the city of New York. During this same period of time, a horse with no name wandered around the desert, Eric Clapton shot the sheriff, and Gladys and the Pips got the hell out of town on a train that also operated during the midnight hours.

Ah, yes, my nemesis…graveyard shifts. I despised working midnights, especially the hours between 4 am and 7 am. The dead zone is a great moniker for those mind-numbing three hours of forcing oneself to remain awake and alert. So yes, there is a bit of irony embedded within the name of this blog.

This particular night started off with a call the moment I signed on, and it was one of those calls. The deputies working the shift before mine had it planned. They, my friends and fellow keepers of the peace, purposely saved the call just for me. It was a temporary detention order (TDO) for a troubled young woman in her early 20’s who had a problem that needed immediate psychiatric attention. So, with the judge-signed order in hand, a female deputy and I drove over to the woman’s house where she lived with family members. I should point out, though, that the female deputy was not a police officer. She worked in the jail but I wanted a woman to go with me in case of, well, you just never know. And, since there were no female deputies working at the time…

The family, of course, was quite upset, and through tears and sobs the mother told me her daughter had locked herself in her room, barricaded the door, and wouldn’t come out. Lovely.

We tried sweet-talking. We tried promises of whatever we thought would get her to open the door. We tried authoritative tones. We tried. We tried. We tried. And, we… Well, I finally forced my way into the room fearing that she’d hurt herself.

Once inside the room the realization hit me as to what a long night that was going to be. The woman was totally naked and she’d armed herself with a can of hairspray and a tube of lipstick. She’d also smeared a coating of baby oil over her body.

Yes, it happened. A wild-eyed, slimy, buck-naked woman attacked me, and it was like I’d fallen onto a combination of spinning windmills, two running chainsaws, and a school of angry piranhas.

Please. Before we continue, close your eyes and picture the scenario. Place yourself in my brown, shiny shoes and think about this for a moment. Let it sink in. Ready now?

Okay, so there I was, in the middle of one of the worst nude lipstick assaults in the history of law enforcement, trying to protect myself from a 120 lb. naked woman who’d decided to climb me like a squirrel on speed. I wanted to be compassionate. I really did. After all, she was a troubled woman suffering from mental illness. But she was all over me. First here. Then there. She slithered up and down and around at such a rapid pace I couldn’t tell from where the next bite, scratch, pinch, hit, or hairspray squirt was coming.

Instinctively, not wanting my face and uniform decorated in candy apple red striping, I grabbed for the hand that held the lipstick. Big mistake. I should’ve gone for the hairspray. Are you aware of the intense stinging that stuff causes when your eyes receive a direct hit? Not to mention it tastes like @$%# when you get a mouthful.

At this point I’m wrestling with an un-attired woman. My eyes are on fire. I’m spitting and sputtering, trying to purge my mouth of AquaNet. I’m bleeding from a couple of bite wounds. My face and uniform are painted with so much lipstick I look like I’m preparing to attend an Aboriginal tribal ceremony. And I’m in this alone because my backup, the woman deputy I’d brought with me to help in the event something like this occurred, panicked and retreated back to my car where she remained until all was once again well.

I finally managed to cuff the nude Tasmanian Devil, which was not my preference in situations that involved the mentally ill, but sometimes there’s no alternative. There was no way the family could control her and my “partner-du-jour” was certainly of no help. So you do what you have to do and think about the big picture, and in this case it was that she would get the help she so desperately needed.

Anyway, the woman’s mother covered her with a robe, which we made certain was securely tied to prevent further show-and-tells, and off we went to the hospital. I cannot begin to imagine what the people in the hospital thought when our motley crew entered the building. Of course, the two women with me looked fine. It was I who looked like the battered villain in the final scene of a Terminator movie sequel.

I don’t care how hard you try, you can’t be cool when you’re covered in lipstick from head to toe, including an imaginative and sort of artistic doodling on my rear end (I’m not sure how or when that happened), your eyes are bloodshot (a shade that complimented the lipstick, though), dried blood on your neck and arm, and the place where your badge is supposed to be is reduced to shredded bits of brown polyester. Nope, not a single ounce of swagger in that look.

And this was only the first call of the night, with six long hours to go.

So yeah, I despised graveyard shifts.

February 11, 2016/by Lee Lofland

Castle: Season 8

Castle: Tone Death – A Good Cop/Bad Cop Review

“Based on lividity and body temp, blah, blah, She bled out, blah, blah, and blah…,” Voodoo Doctor/M.E. Lanie

Melanie Atkins

Many Castle fans are raving about this week’s episode, the first of 2016 after an unbelievably long winter hiatus. Mainly because Rick and Kate are back together in private. Hallelujah! Even with that lovely development, however, I’m not so enthused. Sure, I loved the tiny glimpses they gave us of them when they were alone, when they acted like the in-love couple we’ve come to know and adore. The rest of the show, however? With them fake-fighting at the precinct and pretending to date the fictional Svetlana and Dr. Livingstone? No. Just… NO.

Ryan and Esposito (who are detectives, I might add) must be complete morons to not have already caught on. I mean, please. The names Rick and Kate chose for their “new flames” should be enough to tip off the boys, but if not, the couple’s silly over-acting should give away their whole crazy scheme. The writers should be lined up and shot for continuing this charade, and I learned yesterday it will go on until episode 16. Holy moly! Even this loyal Castle fan isn’t sure she can stomach this stupidity for that long.

The case had promise and I did enjoy some of the a capella singing, but IMHO it went on much too long. This is a crime drama, not a musical. And when Espo broke into song to question one of the singers, I almost got up and left the room. Sure, Jon Huertes (Espo) sings in real life, has an album out, and has even joined with Seamus Deaver (Ryan) to form a duo, but this show is not the right venue to promote this venture.

Please, Castle writers and showrunners: Put us out of our misery and give us back the show we know and love, with Rick and Kate together solving cases without all the silly pretense and stupid, contrived storylines.

Next week, we get two episodes. One on Sunday night, and one on Monday. I’m hoping they’ll be much better than this one. I love this show and am ready for it to shine again.

Lee Lofland

I’ll begin my portion of what will be a very brief review of the police procedure, forensics, evidence, interview and interrogations, etc., by saying this episode was horrible. From beginning to end, it was rotten to its snoozefest core. The writing. The cheesy acting. And the dumb case. All horrible. I don’t understand why the powers to be let it happen to what was once a really fun show.

The actors are great. They, when allowed to, play the parts of police officers/investigators as well as any actors around (with the exception of the former cast of Southland). But, for some unholy reason—

Wait a minute! Maybe… Just maybe… Could it be this simple? The cure? Yes, I’m convinced of it. The show needs a good, old-fashioned head-spinning, pea-soup-puking, exorcism to rid itself of the demons who’ve possessed it for so long.

An exorcism to purge itself of boilerplate scripts, goofy scenes where detectives investigating murders engage in singing battles with homicide suspects, a husband and wife cannot live as husband and wife out of fear of some sort gloom and doom death plot, yet they sleep together, work together, hang out together…everything but say, “we’re married.” Speaking of boilerplate scripts, who didn’t know the ID of killer the moment we saw him on the screen, sitting there with that flashing red neon “I’m the Killer” sign hanging above his head.

So, Castle, a non-cop, is forbidden to work cases and to be at the precinct. However, he continues to lead investigations, interrogate suspects, search property, engage with murder suspects, tromp around inside crime scenes, and, well, it’s just dumb. The original premise of this show, the reason everyone fell for it, was that Castle, a writer (remember when he was a writer?) tagged along with Beckett for fodder for his fiction. You know, much like each of you who attend the Writers’ Police Academy, which, by the way, is over the top FANTASTIC this year (Registration opens at noon EST on February 21st. Slots go extremely fast so be at your computer and ready to sign up the moment the clock strikes 12).

Sorry, I was distracted there for a moment, thinking about the absolutely thrilling Writers’ Police Academy. But back to the show…

So, Castle and Alexis head over to an abandoned mall to do a bit of super-snooping. The place is spooky and definitely empty. So empty, in fact, that even the viewers at home heard the echoes of tiny rat toenails clicking and ticking against the concrete as the hairy, flea- and plague-infested rodents scurried about the place. It was so silent and still that (here comes a blast of sarcasm, so duck) Castle and Alexis couldn’t hear a few dozen kids singing their lungs out in the next section that was mere feet away from them. A section that, by the way, was separated from them by only a thin curtain. And, apparently that magically soundproof curtain also blocked the smell and smoke that poured into the air from two very large bonfires. Yeah, DUMB.

One last point before I try to erase this particular episode from my mind. Castle, when assisting the NYPD with cases, is acting as their agent. Therefore, he cannot do things on his own, for the benefit if the police, such as search homes and businesses and hack into the internet accounts of criminal suspects. It’s illegal, and anything he discovered while doing those things would not be allowed as evidence. Fruit of a Poisonous Tree is what that’s called—evidence obtained during a violation of the 4th Amendment.

And, after watching this show, that’s exactly how I feel…violated. My trees have been poisoned.

February 9, 2016/by Lee Lofland

Police Procedure

It’s Video Training Day!

It’s video training day!

1. Fingerprint ridge builder and cleaner – a liquid or lotion-type product applied to fingertips. The substance temporarily puffs up ridges enabling the officer to obtain a much clearer print from the elderly or people with damaged ridge structure, such a brick layers or others who work with their hands.

2. Evidence weapons boxes are used to safely store and transport weapons recovered from crime scenes and from criminal suspects.

3. Crime Scene Evidence Collection Vehicle – What’s inside of those CSI vehicles? Well…

4. Miranda and Interview and Interrogation. Here’s a video by 2016 WPA instructor Mike Knetzger.

*It’s almost here! Writers’ Police Academy registration opens February 21st at noon EST! Be ready because slots fill QUICKLY!

February 8, 2016/by Lee Lofland

2016 Writers' Police Academy

2016 Writers’ Police Academy: You Deserve to be Pampered!

After a long day of shooting guns, explosions, murder scenes, helicopters landing right in front of you, touring a maximum security prison, driving police cars while in pursuit of bad guys, seeing police K-9’s playing “fetch” with fleeing crooks, kicking in doors to search for armed robbers, collecting crime scene evidence, testifying in court, investigating an arson, and all of the other cool and thrilling events in store for you at the 2016 Writers’ Police Academy, well, we know you’ll want to relax in style. And we, knowing writers as we do, have the perfect place to do just that…our wonderful event hotel, the Radisson Hotel and Conference Center, Green Bay.

Yes, once the day’s activities wind down you’ll want to have a nice meal and a glass or two of wine, or a drink. Enjoy the company of your friends while sitting around the fireplace or in either of the several lounge areas.

Perhaps you prefer to sip a few drinks at one of several bars and lounges.

Or, maybe you’ll want to head down the beautifully decorated hallway to the casino where you can finish the day playing your favorite games or sample the fare at one of the several restaurants and/or bars located there.

By the way, the Noodle Bar and Lombardi’s Legendary Sports Bar & Grill located inside the Oneida Casino both receive rave reviews.

Maybe you and your friends and/or family prefer to enjoy the indoor swimming pool and spa.

Or, you may simply want to head to your well-appointed room for some quiet time watching TV, reading, or writing. Guest rooms, by the way, are located in Towers One and Two, well away from the pool, lounges, restaurants, and casino.

Of course, when it comes to our popular banquet and reception, well, the food and setting are both superb.

We negotiated an excellent room rate for the 2016 WPA ($123) per night. Your room reservation also includes free breakfasts each day of the event, free WiFi, and shuttle service to and from the Green Bay airport, which, by the way, is a mere ten minute drive from the hotel.

So, as you see, we believe you should be pampered. And all of this on TOP of a thrilling, heart-pounding four days of action and excitement!

Yes, the is indeed THE event of the year!

*Update – 2-5-16 at 2:42 EST.

I just got off the phone with our happy and excited hotel sales rep and she said our block is already filling fast, and we haven’t opened registration yet! My advice is to reserve your rooms right away before they’re gone! Yes, the WPA is that popular!

February 5, 2016/by Lee Lofland

2016 Writers' Police Academy

WPA Sponsorship Drive Underway!

Each year, the Writers’ Police Academy offers and presents a program that’s designed especially for writers. In fact, we build the WPA around you, your needs as a writer, and to answer your questions and help with your works-in-progress.

We don’t use the WPA to promote ourselves or our work. There are no classes about writing or panels of agents and editors. There is no pressure to pitch your books, or to impress agents, editors, or fellow writers. No author panels or…well, you get the idea. The WPA is not a typical writers conference.

Instead, the Writers’ Police Academy is all about you interacting one-on-one with cops, firefighters, EMS personnel, forensics experts, and shooting guns, driving police cars while chasing bad guys, investigating homicides, helicopters, dogs, arson, ballistics (this is typically a “for law enforcement eyes only” workshop, so it’s super cool that you have an inside track), touring a maximum security prison (you’re going in the section where others do not dare!), an insider session about the Steven Avery case, and much, much more!

Simply put, the Writers’ Police Academy delivers what other events simply cannot.

The WPA is now in its 8th year of providing stellar workshops and only the best of the best instructors and experts. The event is thrilling and packed with heart-pounding action, but we also make certain that our attendees are pampered, as you should be. You guys work hard at your craft and the fruits of your labor are extremely obvious by the numbers of great books published each year.

Actually, we’re taking the pampering thing to another level this year. Our event hotel is extremely nice and well-appointed, and it features several restaurants and bars. AND, the fabulous Oneida Casino is inside the hotel!

By the way, the WPA’s low registration fee of only $395 includes all workshops, the Friday night reception, lunches at the academy, transportation to the academy and back to the hotel each day, and transportation to off-site workshops and session. Your hotel reservation also includes free WiFi, shuttle service to and from the airport, and breakfast each morning during the event. It’s a fantastic deal! And, Sisters in Crime is offering a huge discount to their members attending the WPA for the first time.

And, Tami Hoag is our 2016 Guest of Honor!

The Agatha nominees were released this week and the Edgar nominees not long before, and each of those lists of stars included the names of numerous WPA alumni. In my heart I know the WPA probably played at least a small role in the development of those stories.

Actually, Lisa Gardner, yes that Lisa Gardner, just released a story she set at the Writers’ Police Academy.

Her inspiration for an earlier bestseller came to her while attending a Writers’ Police Academy.

Each time I hear one of these tales of how the WPA helped someone better themselves as a writer, and it is often, believe me, I feel like a proud parent who watched his child receive an award, or graduate from high school or college.

So yes, you are why we continue to push our boundaries to even higher limits, and this year, well, we’ve gone over the moon crazy. The 2016 WPA is the biggest and best we’ve ever produced, and that’s saying a lot.

We are grateful for your continued support. Without you and our loyal sponsors we couldn’t do what we do. So, it’s that’s time of the year again when I reach out to ask for your help. We rely on the generosity of writers, businesses, and individuals for support. Therefore, we humbly request that you sign on as a WPA sponsor at one of the levels listed below. Once you’ve selected your desired level please visit the Writers’ Police Academy’s Become a Sponsor page to complete the transaction.

We deeply appreciate your support! And, of course, a special thanks to each of you who’ve supported us in the past and continue to do so today.

Click here to Become a Sponsor of the Writers’ Police Academy!

Levels of Sponsorship

WPA Hero – $20,000 and above

Gold Shield – $15,000

Silver Star – $10,000

Medal of Valor– $5,000

– Sponsor our guest of honor, Tami Hoag! Sponsor receives one-year WPA website ad that includes a link to your website and your author photo, a six-month book cover ad on The Graveyard Shift blog, an author table at the hotel during registration/check-in, free registration and a guaranteed spot at the WPA that includes a free banquet ticket and WPA t-shirt. Includes a feature article about you and your latest book on the Graveyard Shift blog. Your name will be listed on the WPA website and in the program guide naming you as sponsoring Tami Hoag.

Commissioner – $1,000

– Sponsor a workshop or presenter! Receives one-year WPA website ad, link to your website, and author photo, six-month book cover ad on The Graveyard Shift blog, and a guaranteed spot at the WPA that includes a free banquet ticket. And, your name will be listed in the event program guide beside the name of the instructor or session you elected to sponsor!

Chief of Detectives – $500

– Sponsor a presenter! Receives WPA website ad, link to your website, author photo, and a six-month book cover ad on The Graveyard Shift blog (worldwide audience). And, your name will be listed in the event program guide beside the name of the instructor you elected to sponsor!

Major – $250

Buy the ammo! Funds generated at this level of sponsorship go toward WPA supplies and materials, such as ammunition used on the firing ranges. Sponsors receive WPA website ad, link to your website, author photo, and your name (sponsored by) listed in the event program guide beside one of the live fire courses.

Captain – $100

– Sponsorship receives thumbnail book cover and link on WPA website.

Friends of the WPA – $50 and below

– your name listed on the sponsor page.

Again, we thank you for your support!

February 4, 2016/by Lee Lofland

Police News

Do You Feel Safer…Now?

President George W. Bush created the Department of Homeland Security, a move that merged several agencies under a single umbrella—Coast Guard, National Guard, FEMA, Customs and Border Patrol, TSA, Secret Service, and a gaggle of other three-letter agencies, with the exceptions of the FBI and CIA.

This move was supposed to create a safer America—“a concerted national effort to prevent terrorist attacks within the United States, reduce America’s vulnerability to terrorism, and minimize the damage and recover from attacks that do occur,” according to the National Strategy for Homeland Security.

Well, here’s a bit of Homeland Security news that just might give you reason to scratch your head and wonder…

1. During the past 31 months, over 1,300 Homeland Security badges and official credentials have been lost or stolen. These were not items kept in a warehouse, though. Instead, they were the ID’s and badges issued to active-duty agents. 165 department firearms are also missing (lost or stolen). Antonio Ramos, a muralist, was killed in Oakland last November. The weapon used to commit the murder was stolen a couple of months earlier from an ICE officer in San Francisco.

2. The BioWatch program is an initiative of Homeland Security. Its purpose is to detect the release of pathogens into the air as part of a terrorist attack on major American cities. Now, I’m slightly familiar with this program, and Denene is extremely familiar with it. The concept is great. The program works, and it works well.

What? You didn’t know there are “sniffers” in position all across the U.S., especially in cities that are particularly attractive targets for terrorists? Well, they’re out there and there are plenty of them, you just don’t recognize them because they’re mingled in with all of the other hardware attached to every piece of vacant space on telephone poles and other such city or utility real estate.

Since terrorists seem to set their sites on gatherings of large crowds, such as the Super Bowl, Homeland Security decided to place a few portable sniffer boxes in and around downtown San Francisco in advance of the big game next Sunday. I know, the game will be played in Santa Clara, not San Francisco. Santa Clara, by the way, is actually 40 miles away from San Francisco, a distance that can sometimes take a couple of hours to travel if the freeway traffic is in full bloom.

Anyway, Homeland Security officials placed portable sniffers throughout downtown San Francisco, and they chained the boxes to light poles. To power the units they ran the electrical cords to the power poles and tapped into city current.

KPIX/CNN photo

Now, I’m no rocket scientist, but I believe anyone who can figure out how to plug-in and unplug a basic toaster could surmise that cutting the cord or pulling the plug on this high-tech toxin detector would be all that’s needed to set an evil plan into motion. And we mustn’t forget that the game, and the crowd associated with it, will be some 40 miles away. Therefore, I’m thinking the only “sniffs” these boxes will detect will be those of wino urine and pot smoke (those of you who’ve visited San Francisco will understand). And that’s if the boxes are still plugged in on the day of the game. Hmm…a pair of bolt cutters for the cables and officials may find a couple of these diamond-plate boxes for sale in local pawn shops or in the back of a contractor’s truck being used as a toolbox.

Hey, I know. A crook could steal two or three and use them to store all those missing badges and guns.

A final thought…do you suppose the boxes are nothing more than decoys, mere empty shells used to fool potential terrorists. Nah…those cowards wouldn’t care if the boxes were there or not. Besides, by the time the sniffers detected a harmful toxin in the area, the people around it would already be toast (notice how I used “toast” to tie in with the earlier reference to “toaster?”). However, an alert from these mini tool boxes would provide ample time to save the politicians who will probably not set foot anywhere near these things.

So, do you feel safer now?

February 3, 2016/by Lee Lofland

Police Procedure

Because Sometimes There’s an Unruly Groundhog

Blue lights. Sirens. Guns. Knives. Handcuffs. High speed pursuits. Foot chases. Barking and snarling dogs.

Think those are the only calls cops respond to during their shifts? Well, it’s not all action. For example, this happened…

1. Officers arrested Ms. Dusty Rae Ingram and then delivered her to the county jail for safekeeping. During the booking process jail officials discovered a bag of prescription pills tucked away inside Ms. Ingram’s…uh…private parts. When questioned, the absent-minded Dusty told the officers she usually kept those pills in her purse and she had no idea how they found their way to her genitals.

2. Police were dispatched to investigate a suspicious man who was possibly not wearing pants while crawling along a city sidewalk. When officers arrived they found the man hiding beneath a van. He was indeed naked from the waist down.

3. Police in Florida stopped a young man for a traffic infraction. During the stop the driver attempted to hide what officers described as a “Batman bag.” Officers asked the man to retrieve the bag from beneath the seat and he told them he couldn’t show it to them because it contained something “bad.” He was right. The bag contained Xanax pills and a scale commonly used for weighing narcotics. To add to his troubles, the driver had apparently spilled marijuana on himself because small bits of pot leaves were discovered clinging to his shirt.

4. Police at a Greenacres substation noticed a strange vehicle parked in the lot and went out to investigate. They discovered a man asleep behind the wheel with the motor running. The roused him and asked why he was there. The man told them he was drunk and tired. Officers kindly provided a better place for the driver to “sleep it off.”

5. Police officers were called to a bar to break up a fight between intoxicated patrons. One of the tough and rowdy fighters spit on the responding officers who then promptly arrested him. The brawler then began to bawl like a baby. During his uncontrollable crying spree he told officers he couldn’t go to jail because he’d just gotten out.

Other reports include:

– Two men knocking on doors asking people, in English, if they spoke French.

– A couple fighting because their dog died.

– A woman dialed 911 because her taxi driver was yelling at her.

– A woman called 911 because prices at her local produce stand were too high.

– Officers were called to assist a parent who couldn’t get their child to go to bed.

– A woman called 911 to report a fire in her living room. Officers responded and explained that the flame she saw inside her kerosene heater was necessary to heat the home.

– A caller advised police that a dog had defecated in her yard even after she’d asked it nicely to not do it.

– A man called 911 to report suspicious items in his mailbox. Officers responded and discovered the items to be…mail.

– A man reported seeing a male subject exposing himself repeatedly to a woman seated in a parked car in the lot of a convenience store. After a brief investigation officers learned the woman was the store manager and the male subject, who was wearing only an overcoat, was her husband.

– People yelling in a field were found to playing a game that required participants to yell.

– A caller reported seeing footprints on his front porch for several days in a row. Police discovered the prints were left by the mailman.

– A 911 caller reported seeing a strange rock in his driveway.

– A woman called police to report seeing an open door at a residence in her neighborhood. Police responded and closed the door.

– Police were called because animal control would not respond to a sighting of an unruly groundhog.

– A concerned citizen called police to report possible terrorist activity at their neighbor’s home. The caller told the dispatcher a male subject was using a device to spray some sort of deadly toxin. Police arrived and spoke to the exterminator who’d been hired to rid the property of unwanted ants. His truck with a giant rubber bug on the rooftop was parked in the driveway. If only there’d been a clue…

February 2, 2016/by Lee Lofland

2016 Writers’ Police Academy Registration and Schedule

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WPA Sponsorship Drive Underway!

Do You Feel Safer…Now?

Because Sometimes There’s an Unruly Groundhog

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Writers’ Police Academy

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