Castle: Under The Gun – A Review Of The Police Procedure And Other Nonsense

Castle: Under The Gun

 

Beckett had her hands full this week, as do most detectives when solving crimes involving repeat offenders. Those are the cases when investigators must really dig deep into their  crime-solving toolboxes. And, those are the times when a detective’s acting/lying skills are truly put to the test. To get to the truth when dealing with experienced bad guys ya’ gotta’ walk the walk and talk the talk. It’s a game that must be played, and it must be played well.

This episode, Under The Gun, was written by Alexi Hawley, who has written some of the better episoides of Castle. Hawley, thankfully, came along this week and returned the show to its roots. There was ton’s of chemistry between Castle and Beckett, Esposito and Ryan were sharp, and Lanie’s role was minimal. So good job, Mr. Hawley!

Alexi Hawley

Now, on with the show….

Beckett and crew are called to the scene of a murder in the office of a bail bondsman. The victim was found lying in enough syrupy-red blood to float a battleship. He’d been bludgeoned to death with a trophy, and judging from the amount of blood I’d have guessed the weapon was a rocket propelled grenade instead of a plastic and marble statue.

Enter Lanie Parish and her nonsense – Lanie states a footprint found in the blood was made by the killer and he’d stepped in the blood while wiping prints off the trophy. I’m sorry, but I never learned that secret in all my years as an investigator. Hmm…a footprint in blood means someone was wiping fingerprints off the murder weapon. Hear that Mr. Holmes? You’ll have to remember that one. She also stated that the footwear impression could be matched to a precise shoe. Now that is possible, and yes there is a data base of shoe soles. So chalk one up for the queen of fantasy forensics.

Bad guy number one is nabbed while exiting a building the hard way, out of a window. Good take down and good exchange of dialog. I’ve seen crooks making jokes as they lay on the ground in handcuffs. It’s their way of dealing with the situation

– Beckett’s handheld radio goes haywire while she’s inside the dead guy’s office. As a result, she finds a bug inside the telephone. Good stuff. I’ve used a handheld police scanner in the same manner. Set the device on scan (an old Bearcat scanner, Pro-54, I believe was the model) and begin the search. When it locks on a frequency in the range of most listening devices you know the room is bugged. I’ve also seen bad guys use the same trick to see if someone is “wired.”

– Ryan has begun using the term “uniforms” when speaking of patrol officers. Good, because that’s a common term.

– Beckett tells Castle he can’t rely on his “Spidey senses” to solve a case. I have to disagree. Most detectives know and rely on their “gut feelings” to lead them in the right direction.

Me on the job in the early 90’s

– Becket is seen wearing some pretty tall heels. I’ve never encountered an officer, male or female, who didn’t dress appropriately for duty. And that meant heels weren’t the shoes of choice for work in the field.

– The first suspect was a recidivist. He’d been to jail many times and he was a career B&E guy, meaning he actually performs manual labor while committing his crimes. He’d also been in jail numerous times. There’s no way anyone who lives that kind of life would have nicely trimmed nails, perfect and brilliant white teeth, and really soft-looking hands.

– Beckett released her prisoner to a bounty hunter so he could claim his money. No way would that would happen. Cops transport prisoners to lock up. He’s their responsibility from the moment they lay their hands on him.

– Esposito and Castle are seen discussing details of the case. This was good for a change. ALL detectives working a case actually participate in the investigation. They’re not just go-fers for the investigator in charge. Well, sometimes they are sent on errands, but they still work the case.

– One of the suspects, the guy who pretended to be handicapped, said he planned to drop the charges against a suspect. Citizens can’t “drop” charges. That’s something only a prosecutor can do. A witness can refuse to testify, but that could result in criminal charges against them.

– Lanie consults her crystal ball and says the substance on the victim’s forehead is holy oil. She claims she ran a test on it. What, is her morgue equipped to run every test known to mankind? A M.E.’s job is to determine cause of death. They do not perform sorcery in the mop closet.

I liked all the twists and turns involving the suspects and their connections in prison and jail. Bad guys often meet in jail and remain friends on the outside.

Now, unrelated to the police procedure…Does anyone think Castle’s jealousy over Beckett and ANY guy is getting old?

Does anyone else think Lanie Parish is too wimpy for her job as M.E.?


And for those of you who participated in the FATS and VirTra training at the Writers’ Police Academy…

Did the officers handle this (above) scenario properly? If not, what should have happened?

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Writers’ Police Academy photo of the day

Want to share your Writers’ Police Academy experience with our readers? I’m looking for someone to write an article from a WPA recruit’s point of view. Contact me at lofland32@msn.com.

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Castle: He’s Dead She’s Dead – A Review of the Police Procedure and Other Nonsense

Is it over yet? That was my reaction ten minutes into this episode. As much as I normally enjoy the show, I must say this particular episode was exactly what I needed to take the final edge off the leftover Writers’ Police Academy adrenaline high. Sure, everyone looked nice, there was a dead body, and Det. Ryan even had a couple of spotlight moments (is it just me or he is beginning to really stand out as a key player in this show?), but there simply wasn’t enough to keep me interested. I actually fell asleep a few times while attempting to watch. It was sort of like going to a rock concert where the headliner is a band from the 70’s that plays all the chords and sings all the right lyrics, but there’s no life in the performance. They’re tired. And Castle and Beckett looked tired this week.

Or was it the writer who blew this one for me? Let’s look back at another episode written by Moira Kirkland. Tick, Tick, Tick was a two-part episode and here’s my opening comment from the first week’s review:

Tonight’s episode is the first of a two-parter, and I have to admit I’m thankful the network broke this particular show into segments. Why? Because there’s no way I could stomach this all in one sitting. The writers definitely went for over the top stupid this time.

So maybe the actors had nothing to work with this week. Anyway, on with the show…

– We start with a woman who found her mother’s dead body inside a sleeper sofa with an ice pick protruding from her neck—pointed end embedded into the flesh. I’m not sure how much room was inside the sofa, but there had to have been a lot because the weapon stood straight out. Wouldn’t a normal sleeper sofa mattress be tightly compressed, which wouldn’t allow the weapon to be so perfectly placed for the viewing audience? Not a big deal…just an observation.

– When the daughter opened the sofa her mother’s body rolled out and flopped into view like a wet fish. A few minutes later Lanie Parish states the body was in full rigor, therefore, it should have been as unyielding as a fireplace poker. Or, was the queen of all psychic pathologists looking into the future. Sure, that’s it. She had a brief flash. Maybe she’d just watched Chuck and a little of his abilities cross-contaminated the two networks.

Voodoo doctor Parish also went on to say:

1. No scratches on the metal part of the ice pick. Why’d she say that? Was it important information? I guess she said it because later in the show we’d learn that the predictable, obvious killer would purchase a new ice pick. But for Lanie to say it when and how she did was an info dump. I hope you guys insert your clues a little more tactfully.

2. Time of Death was 5-7 p.m. the night before. On what did she base this? Anyone know?

3. Cause of death was blood loss and asphyxiation and that the victim was alive when she was placed inside the couch—something about some scratch marks proving the latter. How’d she know the family cat hadn’t been trapped inside the sofa (It really must be like the Grand Canyon inside that piece of furniture).

– Det. Ryan referred to the patrol officers as uniforms and uni’s. Good information!

– Officers brought a suspect in for questioning. He supposedly wasn’t under arrest (not even any real evidence against him), yet he was handcuffed and the officers were manhandling him like two linebackers roughing up a quarterback during the Superbowl. However, in real life, anytime a person no longer feels they are free to leave an area (because of police actions) then they are considered to be under arrest. And that doesn’t always have to involve handcuffs or locked doors. This guy was definitely not free to leave.

– Was it just me, or were there far too many commercials in this episode? More than usual?

– Beckett made her usual, “Don’t leave town” comment. Police officers cannot order someone to stay put without the proper paperwork from the courts. And something was different about her this week. I did notice that she wore a lot more makeup than ever before. But that wasn’t it. Anybody?

The ending was as predictable as sunrise and sunsets. The only good thing about it was that it arrived, finally.

Sorry, Guys. This time I really didn’t like the show. So go ahead, start blasting me. I can take it.

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Castle: A Deadly Affair – A Review Of The Police Procedure

They’re back, and Castle and team Beckett worked through a few hard feelings to reach the conclusion of the season’s first murder. M.E. Lanie Parish also dropped in sporting a new do, but spouting the same old nonsense and gobblty-goo.

So lets dive in. First, being in touch with Seamus Deaver (Det. Ryan) during the early part of the summer gave me an indication of just how into his character he really is. These folks work hard at what they do and it shows. The chemistry between the characters on this series is wonderful.

Anyway, on to the show.

* I’m not at home and I’m without a DVR so I’m sure I missed a lot of things, especially the little things that normally bug me. If you caught things I didn’t please let us know.

– The first body presented as a gun shot victim with multiple wounds. The body, as usual for this show, did not exhibit lividity, the gravity-induced purplish discoloration of the skin due to the settling of blood in the lowest points of the body.

– Lanie Parish, the psychic M.E., says the victim died as a result of multiple gunshot wounds, not the fall. No way she would know this for sure without an autopsy. This is a normal conclusion for Parish. Very predictable, and very wrong.

– Beckett orders officers to begin knocking on doors to see what the neighbors may have heard or saw. Good stuff. That’s how most crimes are solved, by talking and listening to people.

– Blood stain. It was everywhere. Blood, blood, blood! The victim was shot with a handgun, not a bazooka. Too much blood for those wounds.

– Esposito says the second victim’s wounds were made by a large caliber weapon, the same as the first victim. There’s no way to determine this without an autopsy and bullet comparison. Rounds could enter the flesh at odd angles making the wounds seem much larger. A direct shot from straight on can also be misleading at times. Besides, the victim had on clothes. How could Esposito see all the wounds? Could have been two weapons, or three…

– Beckett checked the victim’s wallet and found cash. Based on her findings she said robbery was not the motive. Good.

– Beckett conducted a nice interview of the victim’s boyfriend. However, the boyfriend was one of the worst actors I’ve seen on this show.

– M.E. Lanie Parish interrupts Beckett’s interview of a potential suspect to deliver a piece of evidence. No way a medical examiner is going to do that. She/he would preserve the evidence and include the findings in their report. They would, however, probably call the investigator if the evidence seemed to be of great importance to the case at that moment. Otherwise, it would wait. But no hand delivery.

– Parish discovers writing on a victim’s body. She then tells Beckett how old the writing was…simply by looking at it!

– Beckett and entourage enter a suspect’s apartment through a partially open door. They can see the door had been pried open. Yes, they could do so without a warrant. This was obviously an emergency situation.

– Beckett arrested Castle. Sure, the arrest was justified, but why was it necessary to use his proper name when doing so? “Richard Castle, you’re under arrest for murder.” Besides the name thing, she didn’t really need to specify the crime during her announcement.

– Beckett’s interview of Castle, although cute, was not realistic. And it  wouldn’t have sounded so hot to a judge and jury.

– The new word of the season must be “slug.” It seemed as if they used it a million times to describe bullets. It may be used in NY, but I’ve never heard it used in my travels to departments across the country. Not by cops anyway.

Slug, the new cordite….

– At least Castle wore gloves when he illegally visited and contaminated the second crime scene.

– Lanie, Lanie, Lanie… Not only is she an expert in poisons, weapons of all types, and other odd things, now she’s an expert on tattoos. She merely looked at two tats and knew they were done by the same tattoo artist. I believe text speak for this is OMG!

– Speaking of Lanie’s vast knowledge of EVERYTHING…She stated that she found traces of all sorts of chemicals—acetone, bleach, etc. —on the victim’s body. She would not have found, or have been able to identify those chemicals, without specifically searching and testing for them. There’s no catch-all test for everything under the sun. Besides, why would she have been looking for this stuff in the first place?  She’d already said the victims died from gunshot wounds.

– Not bad procedure, just something I noticed…Esposito interrupted a conversation between Beckett and Castle by sort of shouting to them from his desk. He said information about the victim’s boyfriend had just come in and his record was clean. Well, Esposito was sitting in his chair, behind his desk, referring to notes attached to the inside of a folder. Why would he have waited until he firmly attached the paperwork to the inside of the folder before making what seemed like such an urgent announcement? Wouldn’t he have simply glanced at the printout as he received it and then relay the important news to his boss?

– Castle is seen walking through the police station with a box of evidence, a purse, I believe. So now he, a civilian, has access to the evidence room and all things inside?

The ending –

I was a little disappointed that the end of the season opener was so predictable, including the scene where Castle and Beckett stood facing each other with guns drawn. Who didn’t realize there was a bad guy behind each of them?

And how many lawsuits would the city of NY lose after a detective gave her weapon to a civilian who then shot someone? He’s not a police officer and he’s not trained to shoot that particular firearm. Brut he is a good actor, and you’ve got to love the chemistry between he and Beckett.

So, tell me…what did you guys think of the show?

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Castle: A Deadly Game – A Review Of The Police Procedure

All good things must come to an end, and this season of Castle is no exception to the rule. This episode, the last of the year, was written by Andrew Marlowe with Rob Bowman taking another turn at directing.

Marlowe, the same writer who put the pen to the page for the very first episode of Castle, decided to bring back mystery writers, Stephen J. Cannell, James Patterson, and Michael Connelly for the season finale. And what a great decision that was. Who better to give advice on mystery writing, muses, and the motivators for murder than three masters of the craft? And to ding Castle for writing only one book a year…that was priceless.

With Alexis and dear old Mom soon to be out of the picture for the entire summer, Castle makes plans to invite Beckett to his place in the Hamptons—the perfect place to develop a budding relationship.

But Beckett turns down Castle’s invitation citing plans with lover boy Demming. So, Castle calls it quits. Says he’s going to take the entire summer off to finish his book.

Oh, wait a minute. There was a murder to solve. I got so wrapped up in the Castle/Beckett love story that I’d put the goofy M.E. on the back burner. Back to mushy stuff in a minute.

Here goes…

– A pretend spy is shot five times in the chest. His body is discovered lying on its back in a small creek-type body of water. The queen of Voodoo Medicine, Lanie Parish, says the wounds are all through-and-through’s, meaning all the bullet holes had exit wounds. Well, how the heck could she possibly know this without rolling the guy over to examine the places where the rounds were likely to have left the body? She couldn’t have done that because the guy’s arms were stretched out straight to each side like he’d been attempting to take flight at the precise moment he was killed. Besides, the front of his clothes were dry, as were his face and hair.

– Beckett asked for time of death. I cringed because I knew what was coming—same old same old from the M.E.

Lanie said, “Based on temp and lividity, I’d say between 11pm and 1am.” I have to assume that in order to have reached that conclusion she’d have pulled down the dead guy’s pants, taken a rectal temperature, and then pulled his pants back up, fixed his belt, and tucked in his shirt tail. I say that because that’s how we saw him—completely and neatly dressed (if you overlook a few bullet holes and bright red blood). I doubt seriously that anyone in the field would go to all that trouble prior to shoving the stiff inside a body bag (a human burrito). And, lividity does not really help determine the time of death. The best that lividity would have told her was that the victim had fallen on his back and hadn’t been moved since it (lividity) had become fixed (on the back of the victim since that’s how he landed after he was shot).

– Searching for the victim’s car around the entrance of the park was good. That’s how it’s done. Grabbing and pawing the things they found inside that car—guns and the faux pen—was not so good. Whatever trace evidence that was on those items was definitely compromised.

– The actual mystery/twist this week was pretty good. The killer wasn’t predictable and James Patterson was right, the motive did involve love, money, and covering up a crime, the three reasons to kill.

But this episode wasn’t really about murder. It was about Castle and Beckett. So now we’re back to the mushy stuff, where Esposito lays it on the line to Beckett. He tells her, in a round about way, that Castle has feelings for her and she’s blowing it by hanging out with pretty boy Demming.

The exchange between Esposito and Beckett was great. Finally, one of the sidekicks was able to deliver meaningful dialog. He and Ryan are too good to lurk in the shadows. They could really add another dimension to the show without stealing any spotlight, if allowed.

Eposito – “Castle’s done enough research to write fifty books. Whatever the reason is (for Castle to hang around) I’m pretty sure it doesn’t involve watching you with another guy.”

The crew throws Castle a going away party. They’re all there, including Lanie Parish, the psychic M.E.

Seriously…

Beckett shows up after breaking it off with Demming. She plans to spill her guts to Castle—maybe even go to the Hamptons with him— when…

Castle’s ex-wife, Gina, shows up. And much to Beckett’s dismay, Castle tells her that he and Gina will be spending the summer together at the beach house. The ex-spouses then turn and walk away.

Beckett, obviously brokenhearted and knowing that she blew it, is left waiting in the hallway until next season. In a sad little girl voice she calls out to Castle, “See you in the fall?”

Castle turns around and smiles. “See you in the fall.”

And that’s where we’ll be until the season opener, waiting in that empty hallway with Beckett.

* Due to an overwhelming amount of requests I’ll be continuing these reviews in the fall. In the meantime, let’s try to convince Nathan Fillion, Stana Katic, Jon Huertas, Seamus Dever, Tamala Jones, Molly Quinn, Susan Sullivan, and Ruben Santiago-Hudson to attend the Writers’ Police Academy. Somebody please have their people contact our people.

ABC photos

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Castle: Overkill – A Review Of The Police Procedure

The bell rang and Castle and Demming came out swinging. Both men were prepared for the fight, with each delivering sharply barbed uppercuts, jabs, and one-liners. And if looks could kill! The only thing missing in this episode was the TKO in the final round.

But, who won the overall battle? I know who received the lip lock and girly giggles from Beckett, but is he truly going to be the last man standing when the bout is over? I guess we’ll have to wait and see.

Anyway, the show opened with Alexis editing Castle’s new book, our first glimpse at the green-eyed monster that’s clawing at the inside of Castle’s gut. Alexis doesn’t like the new detective in the story so Castle happily and forcefully uses the deadly red pencil to eradicate the character. If only the act could be as simple in real life.

Next, we found ourselves in the presence of the Queen of Ouija Board Forensics, Lanie Parish. She had two minutes on screen and still managed to say something stupid. “The bullet missed his heart.” A pause and then, “He didn’t die for quite some time.” I’m guessing she now has a crystal ball in her magical M.E. toolbox, because, without an autopsy, there’s no way she could know the bullet missed any vital organ. Where’s Perlmutter when you need him?

– The victim was killed around 10:52 pm, and Beckett and crew are on the scene sometime the next day. Yet, the victim’s blood is still bright red and oozing from the wounds. Nope. The blood would have coagulated and turned a rusty-brownish color in that amount of time.

– Beckett, for some reason, chose to walk through the spilled mop water. Then she stood in the puddle while talking to Castle. Why? Did anyone else notice this? Why didn’t she simply walk around it instead of tracking soapy water through the crime scene?

– The banter between the “Three Stooges” was great. Beckett’s sidekicks, Esposito and Ryan, have really come a long way since the first episode. And their playtime with Castle is pretty funny.

– The scene at the fleabag hotel made me laugh out loud. The clerk told Beckett that the guest (suspect) registered as Scarlett O’Hara.

Beckett. “Scarlett O’Hara?”

Castle. “That’s a fictional character.”

Clerk. “It’s that kind of place.”

– The sketch artist drew a composite that looked exactly like one of the persons of interest in the case. The drawing was based on a description given by a wino. How realistic was that? Not!

– I actually felt sorry for Castle when he asked Beckett if he could sit in on an interview conducted by she and Demming. Beckett’s reply of, “Yeah, right,” was as cold as the liquid nitrogen used in last week’s show. Beckett and Demming continued walking, leaving Castle alone in the hallway like a child who’d been told to sit in the corner.

Now, back to the murder. It seems that Beckett and crew were satisfied thinking that both suspects committed the murder, at two different times. One shot the guy and the other came in later and hit the already dead guy over the head with a blunt object. Well, you can’t kill a guy twice. More than likely, the shooter would have been charged with the murder and the second suspect with abusing a corpse, if that’s the order in which he was killed. Of course, larceny, B&E, and other charges would have been tacked on, as well.

This was a great show for many reasons. One—we only had to endure Lanie Parish and her voodoo forensics for a short time. Two—it was well-written, and fun.

But where is this going…

And what do we make of moments like this…

I just think Beckett’s having a bit of fun and enjoying the attention, because we all know where her heart is leading her. Don’t we?

By the way, I didn’t see this little guy’s name in the credits, but he certainly played a major role in this episode.

Green-eyed Monster

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Castle: Food To Die For – A Review Of The Police Procedure

Food To Die For was written by Terri Miller, who also penned the Rose For Everafter and Vampire Weekend episodes—one good episode and one disaster. This show, however, was pretty doggone good for many reasons.

Of course, the writer couldn’t resist adding a bit of goofy forensics—a body frozen solid because someone poured liquid nitrogen over it. Sure, liquid nitrogen would freeze human tissue if the body was totally immersed in the substance, but probably not by merely pouring the stuff over the victim. Besides, there was more than ample time for thawing by the time everyone (the M.E. witnesses, and the police) arrived on the scene.

Speaking of the M.E., it was definitely refreshing to see Perlmutter back on camera. Even though his information was not quite right, his delivery is always believable. And isn’t that what fiction is about, making the story seem real to the viewer/reader?

M.E. Perlmutter even mentioned running prints through AFIS. We never hear Lanie Parish saying things like that. Nope. She just breaks out her little forensics Ouija board and all the answers suddenly appear.

Still, this episode was good, because the crime was solved in the same manner that most crimes are solved, by knocking on doors, talking to people, and putting the word out to snitches. No forensics. The investigation progressed nicely, and realistically (sort of).

Beckett’s dinner at the police department with Tom was nice, and it hit home. There’s no telling how many meals—holiday, birthday, special occasions—are eaten at police departments because there’s no time for the officers to go home. So, the spouse brings the meal to his/her loved one, and they share it at a dented metal desk in the corner of a squad room or cubicle.

Castle’s dinner was interrupted by Beckett, who felt she needed to question her friend the murder suspect. Again, this was another fairly realistic possibility. You do what you have to do when you need to do it. Politeness should not be an issue if the act is the best means of solving the case.

The dialog between Beckett and her friend while they were in the interview room was priceless—“Make little Castle babies.”

This episode was one of the better episodes so far. Still, the killer was predictable and some of the police-type information was weak, like when Ryan said he found a pair of shoes at the killer’s house with soles cracked from contacting liquid nitrogen. There’s no way he could have possibly known how the soles had become cracked. BUT, the show is all about Castle and Beckett, and the heat was definitely turned on high. And how about this exchange…

Beckett – “Guy’s like Wolf come in and upset the apple cart. Makes you feel alive, but eventually you know he’s just going to let you down. So why risk it?

Castle – “Because the heart wants what it wants.”

ABC photos.

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Castle: Den Of Thieves – A Review Of The Police Procedure

Castle writers are forever coming up with creative and wacky new ways to murder—a bathtub filled with motor oil, a body inside a clothes dryer, bullets with messages written on the backs of the lead. And this week was no exception. The killer used a pair of handcuffs, jumper cables, and a car battery to electrocute his victim. Is this possible? Maybe, but unlikely. While a car battery does have enough juice to electrocute someone, it probably wouldn’t. The reason that it probably wouldn’t kill our victim is due to the skin’s resistance to the DC current. It takes about 48 volts to pass through dry skin and then get current flowing in the conductive juices inside the body. Normally, the voltage from a 12V car battery is far too low to get that current inside the body. And, by hooking the terminal to the steel handcuffs, more than likely the current would have passed between the cuffs, which would cause the metal to become very hot, burning the victim’s wrists. Still, there’s a slim possibility this scenario could have happened, but the probability would be highly unlikely. By the way, did anyone check the serial number on the handcuffs? They just might have been missing from the police department.

– Castle’s jealousy of the new detective was well deserved after his hot and steamy fling with the movie star. The shoe didn’t seem to feel very comfortable when it was placed on the other foot.

Was it just me, or did anyone else like this guy better than Beckett’s former FBI boyfriend?

– Beckett said, “You can learn a lot from a suspect’s denial.” How true. I’ve solved many cases based on the lies and denials I’ve heard in various interview rooms.

– M.E. Lanie Parrish decided to fume the victim’s body for fingerprints. Her basis for doing so was that the victim’s eyes had been closed when his body was discovered. So…she wanted to see if she could find a print on the eyelids. Well, I’ve seen many dead bodies in my day and some had their eyes open and some were closed. The fact that they were closed did not mean that the killer had closed them. However, fuming the body was a good idea. Although, I’ve never seen a fuming chamber like the one she used in this episode. Normally, the chambers are plastic, portable and tent-like. The body farm in Tennessee uses a Cyanoacrylate Blowing Contraption (CBC), a device created by Art Bohanan, a retired detective from the Knoxville Police Department. Art’s creation is portable, and consists of a heating chamber, a fan, and a long tube with a box at the end. The box is placed over the area to be fumed and then Superglue is placed in the heating chamber. The fan then blows the fumes through the tube to the box. After just a few seconds the box is removed from the body part and presto, the prints are revealed. By the way, the prints show up as white, not lime green like we saw in last night’s episode.

Lanie’s fuming chamber was impressive, but she really blew it when she ran the prints and came up with an instant match on her computer. First of all, the M.E. would not be running or comparing fingerprints. That’s the duty of a certified fingerprint examiner. And, print matches do not come back on the computer in a matter of seconds. The system sends back several possible matches and then it’s up to the examiner to compare, by hand and eye, the suspect print with the print that was lifted from the crime scene.

The Three Stooges, Castle, Esposito, and Ryan, were pretty doggone funny this week.

And Esposito played a good role of a cop standing by his partners. Sometimes, you feel that your partner is the only person you can trust. I think Ryan said it best when he expressed his sentiment to Esposito. “Partner, I’m with you until the wheels fall off.”

Lastly, the new guy, who, by the way, will be back in more episodes, said he dropped the charges against Esposito’s former partner and considered the case closed.

A police officer doesn’t have the authority to drop charges. That’s a decision that can only be made by the prosecutor.

So, what’s next for Beckett? Does she have a payback fling with Tom?

ABC photos

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Castle: The Late Shaft – A Review of the Police Procedure

Hear that? Yep, it’s me breathing a sigh of relief that Castle is finally back on track. The chemistry was all right, the humor returned, and Beckett was back on her game. So HOORAY!

The Late Shaft was written by David Grae (Gilmore Girls, Without A Trace, and Joan of Arcadia), who did a wonderful job of incorporating the recent “Late Night Wars” into this episode. You think Conan is brewing up a balsamic vinegar and cranberry juice cocktail for Jay this morning? Hmm… Letterman’s wife might be sending one to him as well after the reference to the affair with the intern. But more on the vinegar in a moment…No, let’s address it now. NO! Enought said about that nonsense. After all, Lanie botched that one all by herself. Not to mention her comment about running the contents of the victim’s intestines to see what was there. Do I need to tell you guys what can be found in the intestines? Yep, and it ain’t cranberry juice and balsamic vinegar.

Lanie did say something right for a change. She said she ran every tox screen she could think of outside of the standard one looking for various poisons. This was actually good. Normally, she magically discovers everything from curare to the lipophilic alkaloid found in poisonous dart frogs in her standard tox screens, which cannot happen. The lab needs to know what to look for before running tests outside the norm.

The killer in this show used balsamic vinegar mixed in cranberry juice (who wouldn’t notice the taste of vinegar in their cranberry juice?) to trigger a fatal reaction to the MAOI inhibitor taken by his victim. This was really a stretch, even for this show. Just because someone is taking a MAOI inhibitor doesn’t mean that swallowing a bit of vinegar would kill him. Not at all. More than likely, if anything, they’d get a headache, or maybe an elevated blood pressure. However, according to a 1988 Brown and Bryant report… On rare occasions, cardiac arrhythmias, cardiac failure, and intracerebral hemorrhage have developed in patients receiving MAOI therapy that did not observe dietary restrictions. ( (c)1974-1994 Micromedex Inc. – All rights reserved – Vol. 82 Exp. 12/94):

Foods to Avoid

ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES – avoid Chianti wine and vermouth. Consumption of red, white, and port WINE in quantities less than 120 mL present little risk (Anon, 1989; Da Prada et al, 1988; McCabe, 1986). BEER and ALE should also be avoided (McCabe, 1986), however other investigators feel major domestic (US) brands of beer is safe in small quantities (1/2 cup or less than 120 mL) (Anon, 1989; Da Prada, 1988),
but imported beer should not be consumed unless a specific brand is known to be safe. WHISKEY and LIQUEURS such as Drambuie(R) and Chartreuse(R) have caused reactions. NONALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES (alcohol- free beer and wines) may contain tyramine (basically, anything fermented) and should be avoided (Anon, 1989; Stockley, 1993).

 

BANANA PEELS – a single case report implicates a BANANA as the causative agent, which involved the consumption of whole stewed green banana, including the peel. Ripe banana pulp contains 7 mcg/gram of tyramine compared to a peel which contains 65 mcg/gram and 700 mcg of tyramine and dopamine, respectively (McCabe, 1986).

BEAN CURD – fermented bean curd, fermented soya bean, soya bean pastes contain a significant amount of tyramine (Anon, 1989).

BROAD (FAVA) BEAN PODS – these beans contain dopa, not tyramine, which is metabolized to dopamine and may cause a pressor reaction and therefore should not be eaten particularly if overripe (McCabe, 1986; Anon, 1989; Brown & Bryant, 1988).

CHEESE – tyramine content cannot be predicted based on appearance, flavor, or variety and therefore should be avoided. CREAM CHEESE and COTTAGE CHEESE have no detectable level of tyramine (McCabe, 1986; Anon, 1989, Brown & Bryant, 1988).

FISH – fresh fish (Anon, 1989; McCabe, 1986) and vacuum- packed pickled fish or CAVIAR contain only small amounts of tyramine and are safe if consumed promptly or refrigerated for short periods; longer storage may be dangerous (Anon, 1989). Smoked, fermented, pickled (Herring) and otherwise aged fish, meat, or any spoiled food may contain high levels of tyramine and should be avoided (Anon, 1989; Brown & Bryant, 1988).

GINSENG – some preparations have resulted in a headache, tremulousness, and manic-like symptoms (Anon, 1989).

PROTEIN EXTRACTS – three brands of meat extract contained 95, 206, and 304 mcg/gram of tyramine and therefore meat extracts should be avoided (McCabe, 1986). Avoid liquid and powdered PROTEIN DIETARY SUPPLEMENTS (Anon, 1989).

MEAT, nonfresh or liver – no detectable levels identified in fresh chicken livers; high tyramine content found in spoiled or unfresh livers (McCabe, 1986). Fresh meat is safe, caution suggested in restaurants (Anon, 1989; Da Prada et al, 1988).

SAUSAGE, BOLOGNA, PEPPERONI and SALAMI contain large amounts of tyramine (Anon, 1989; Da Prada et al, 1988; McCabe, 1986). No detectable tyramine levels were identified in country CURED HAM (McCabe, 1986).

SAUERKRAUT – tyramine content has varied from 20 to 95 mcg/gram and should be avoided (McCabe, 1986).

SHRIMP PASTE – contain a large amount of tyramine (Anon, 1989).

SOUPS – should be avoided as protein extracts may be present; miso soup is prepared from fermented bean curd and contain tyramine in large amounts and should not be consumed (Anon, 1989).

YEAST, Brewer’s or extracts – yeast extracts (Marmite) which are spread on bread or mixed with water, Brewer’s yeast, or yeast vitamin supplements should not be consumed. Yeast used in baking is safe (Anon, 1989; Da Prada et al, 1988; McCabe, 1986).

The foods to use with caution list categorizes foods that have been reported to cause a hypertensive crisis if foods were consumed in large quantities, stored for prolong periods, or if contamination occurred. Small servings (1/2 cup, or less than 120 mL) of the following foods are not expected to pose a risk for patients on MAOI therapy (McCabe, 1986).

FOODS TO USE WITH CAUTION
(1/2 cup or less than 120 mL)

Alcoholic beverages – see under foods to avoid.

AVOCADOS – contain tyramine, particularly overripe (Anon, 1989) but may be used in small amounts if not overripened (McCabe, 1986).

CAFFEINE – contains a weak pressor agent, large amounts may cause a reaction (Anon, 1989).

CHOCOLATE – is safe to ingest for most patients, unless consumed in large amounts (Anon, 1989; McCabe, 1986).

DAIRY PRODUCTS – CREAM, SOUR CREAM, cottage cheese, cream cheese, YOGURT, or MILK should pose little risk unless prolonged storage or lack of sanitation standards exists (Anon, 1989; McCabe, 1986). Products should not be used if close to the expiration date (McCabe, 1986).

NUTS – large quantities of PEANUTS were implicated in a hypertensive reaction and headache. COCONUTS and BRAZIL NUTS have also been implicated, however no analysis of the tyramine content was performed (McCabe, 1986).

RASPBERRIES – contain tyramine and small amounts are expected to be safe (McCabe, 1986).

SOY SAUCE – has been reported to contain large amounts of tyramine and reactions have been reported with teriyaki (Anon, 1989), however analysis of soy sauce reveals a tyramine level of 1.76 mcg/mL and fermented meat may have contributed to the previously reported reactions (McCabe, 1986).

SPINACH, New Zealand prickly or hot weather – large amounts have resulted in a reaction (Anon, 1989; McCabe, 1986).

More than 200 foods contain tyramine in small quantities and have been implicated in reactions with MAOI therapy, however the majority of the previous reactions were due to the consumption of spoiled food. Evidence does not support the restriction of the following foods listed if the food is fresh (McCabe, 1986).

FOODS WITH INSUFFICIENT EVIDENCE FOR RESTRICTION (McCabe, 1986)

anchovies – cream cheese – raisins
beetroot – cucumbers – salad dressings
chips with vinegar – egg, boiled – snails
Coca Cola (R) – figs, canned – tomato juice
cockles – fish, canned – wild game
coffee – junket – worcestershire sauce
corn, sweet – mushrooms – yeast-leavened bread
cottage cheese – pineapple, fresh

Okay, enough rambling. Back to show.

Did everyone count the number of guest stars this week? They even dug up Don Cortese and Bill Bellamy from early MTV. Bill Bellamy was also in Buying the Cow with Allissa Milano, who also made a recent appearance on Castle.

Bill Bellamy

The sleazy knockoff of real-life sleazy PI Anthony Pellicano was a nice jab.

Beckett was back. She was strong and she was in charge (please do not bring back that horrid FBI character).

Beckett’s jealousy of Castle’s fling with the movie star was cute, and so were Castle’s attempts to bring out that jealousy.

I’m not going to ding the police procedure this week, because there wasn’t enough of it to judge. Basically, the show was back to its roots, finally. But balsamic vinegar as a murder weapon…puleeze. I think this was the absolute worst instrument of death in the history of fictional murder.

*ABC photos

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Castle: Wrapped Up In Death – A Review of the Police Procedure

A museum curator is killed by a fallen gargoyle, and it’s up to Beckett and team to solve the murder. Castle, being Castle, sneaks a peek at a mummy while visiting a museum with Beckett to inquire about the dead guy’s last moments. Well, it seems that Castle’s little looky-looing was a huge mistake, because inscribed on the burial chamber was, “All who gaze upon the face of the mummy are doomed.” Yep, Castle thinks he’s cursed. Me, I don’t think so. I think the curse bypassed Castle and zeroed in on the writers of this episode.

Sure, the Castle-ish humor was everywhere, but it’s becoming more and more slapsticky every week.

Even Beckett and her joined-at-the-hip partners produced some horrible attempts at fake laughter while Castle stumbled, fell, and was nearly killed by a malfunctioning coffeemaker, all supposed results of the mummy’s curse.

By far, the best thing about this episode was the absence of the FBI character we were forced to endure for the past two weeks. Good riddance. However, I see this as troubling because I’m beginning to find that the good things about what was once a pretty decent show are the things that aren’t in it. Anyway, the police/forensics stuff was better this week because there was very little if it. However, what was there was horrible.

And away we go…

The show opens with a gargoyle dropping from the roof of an apartment building onto the victim’s head. Obviously, it would take quite a while to assemble Beckett and her entourage—someone has to discover the body, call 911, patrol officers show up, a supervisor is called, someone calls the M.E.,  determine this is indeed a murder, and then call the detectives. You get the point, right? It takes a long time. Well, after all this time has passed by, the victim’s blood was still running down the side of the curb. Was this guy a hemophiliac?  Did he have a clotting disorder? And how about the amount of bright red blood at the scene? We only have approximately 5 liters of the red stuff in our entire body, unlike this poor guy who must’ve been filled with at least three or four gallons of the stuff. It was everywhere.

– A member of Team Beckett holds up a baggie containing the victim’s cell phone. There’s a huge amount of wet, red blood inside the bag. What, did someone scoop up a cup of blood and pour it into the bag when they placed the phone inside?  You really didn’t need to submerge the phone in liquid. After all, you’re not bringing a goldfish home to your kids. And why was the blood still liquid and still very red?

Lanie Parrish, M.E. was back in rare form last night, with her “discovery” of pollen on the gargoyle—pollen that could only have come from the lowlands of the Yacatan Peninsula. She also found the same substance on death threats mailed to the victim and the museum curator.

First of all, the M.E. doesn’t do this stuff. Scientists in the forensics labs would be the folks who’d make this sort of discovery, if it was even possible to do so. For starters, they’d have to have some idea what they were looking for in order to compare the unknown “substance” to it.

I sort of gave up at this point, because I knew what was coming. The show has become very, very predictable. It seems as if the writers, all of them, write to a certain point in the episode and then quit. Then they allow the M.E., or in the past two episodes, a magic board solve the crime with some earth shattering revelation.

This show cheats the viewer with those magical instant answers to all their problems. There’s no following the detective as she searches for clues. Either the M.E. spouts off some nonsensical babble, or we’re offered a magic board that solves the crime in mere seconds. Either way, the writers of this show must certainly think they’re writing for a group of tree stumps.

Sure, Castle is cool, and funny. And Alexis is precious, but she’s getting older—growing up. But how much longer can she be the “little girl?” And I have a new problem. Beckett doesn’t seem to be the same tough-as-nails cops anymore. Not after playing the submissive role to the FBI agent in the past two weeks. Those episodes nearly destroyed her character for me.

I’m quickly losing interest in this show. It’s luster is fading with every episode.

ABC photos

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Castle: Boom – A Review of the Police Procedure

My goodness, where do we start? I know you’re always supposed to begin with something nice before dropping the bomb (pun intended), like Paula Abdul used to do on American Idol. Before telling some caterwauling off-key crooner they’d be better off cleaning sewers with a toothbrush than trying to sing for a living, Paula would offer a few kind words, like “Your one big ear looks exceptionally lovely tonight,” or “The color of your house is really nice.” So, I guess I should do the same, because this wasn’t pretty.

I could begin by saying, “At least Lainie Parrish wasn’t on the show.” But I’m thinking that might not have been a bad thing. In fact, an appearance by the M.E. would have been a huge improvement over the horrible condescending FBI character played by Dana Delaney. What a totally unbelievable person! Hers was the worst character to have ever appeared on this series. I simply could not get into the show at all knowing that every single word out of her mouth was going to be irritating, or something totally false about police work. And that’s a shame, because I normally enjoy the banter between Beckett and Castle. I also like the heat that’s generated between those two. But not in these two episodes. I simply could not get past this totally unrealistic FBI person.

Oh, I’d better say this again before my email box fills with threats and nasty notes. This review is strictly about the POLICE PROCEDURE used on the show. Yes, I do know the show is fiction. No, I’m not trying to get the show canceled. No, I do not hate any of the actors or writing staff. We do this review because people asked us to write them. They wanted to know if what they see on this show is true, or not. They wanted to know if cops really do the things they see on Castle? Well, our job was very easy this week and last, because basically nothing you saw in either episode was realistic. Horrible is the word that comes to mind.

Anyway, let’s have a look.

– I think everyone predicted that Beckett had weathered out the explosion by taking cover in her bathtub, which is exactly what happened. I suppose that could work. Why not? In the first season someone drowned in a bathtub filled with motor oil.

– Not-So-Special Agent Shaw tells Beckett, “My rules. You do what I say, when I say it, and how I say it.” Puleeze…The FBI has absolutely no authority over local law enforcement officers. None. Take a hike, woman. And take that magic board with you, too.

– Agent Shaw (rolling my eyes) pokes around the mounds of burned-beyond-recognition debris in Beckett’s apartment and comes up with a pea-size piece of evidence—the thing that caused the explosion. What exactly is this so-called agent’s job? Is she a profiler or an arson expert? What led her to the spot where she found the evidence? You don’t just dig through ash at random. There are specific clues—telltale signs— that lead investigators to the hot spots.

– I actually laughed out loud when I saw the bullet clinging to the brick wall in a huge circle of bright red blood that looked as if someone had spray-painted it there. The tip of the round was barely damaged and didn’t even chip the soft brick. It was just…well, stuck there. The crime scenes in Who Framed Roger Rabbit were more believable. And that blood…give me a break. Why are they suddenly dumbing down this show? Is there a No Viewer Left Behind program we didn’t know about?

– Beckett and Castle go into a bar (nope, not the opening of a joke) and see a huge banner advertising the serial killer. Beckett tells the barkeep she has to take it down because the case is still ongoing. What? The police don’t have that authority. Not yet, anyway.

– The goofy FBI surveillance team surrounds the killer’s apartment. Sure, they’re all in undercover garb, dressed as restaurant customers, letter carriers, etc., but they each have those wacky earpieces hanging from their heads, and their actions are as obvious as sore thumbs. And it got worse when Beckett announces that she’s seen the guy on the roof. The UC’s (undercover) immediately begin reaching for their weapons and talking into hidden microphones. Well, the killer is no dummy. He picked up on those not-so-subtle movements right away and flees.

– Agent Shaw tells Beckett she’s off the case. Beckett’s captain even backs the FBI agent’s order. Again, she has no authority over Beckett. In fact, the case should have been Beckett’s to work, not the FBI’s.

– The captain tells Beckett she’s too close to the case to be involved. This much was true. She shouldn’t have been involved in the investigation once it was known that she was the target.

– Well, it looks like Beckett borrowed Lainie Parrish’s crystal ball. Somehow, she magically knew, from looking at a couple of blood drops on the ceiling of Agent Shaw’s SUV, that the agent had elbowed her kidnapper, giving him a bloody nose. The attacker then recoiled from the pain, which caused blood from his nose to spurt onto the ceiling of the car. Then, Beckett tracked huge blood puddles to a couple of tires tracks on the pavement. Beckett then said, “He had a gun on her and forced her to a waiting car.” How did she know he had a gun? Why not a knife? Or a slingshot? Or nothing?

– What can I say about the FBI’s magic board that was able to locate the killer’s hideout using a blurry image of a bridge tower outside a window. Perhaps someone should type in Bin Laden’s name. I’m sure Agent Shaw would have him in custody in a matter of minutes. Seriously, the thing that bothered me most about this can-do-everything board was that it was a cheating tool for the writers. They didn’t have to put forth any effort to solve the crime. When they reached a point where they wanted to be lazy they merely had the agent consult the magic mirror for answers. We were cheated.

– Who didn’t see the totally predictable ending coming our way—the agent getting rescued by Castle and Beckett with Castle shooting the suspect? Castle shooting the gun out of the guy’s hand was silly, but it wasn’t as ridiculous as the rest of the show.

By the way, Castle said he was aiming for the guy’s head when he shot the gun out of the guy’s hand, right? If that was the case, chances are he’d have missed entirely because guns tend to rise when fired, especially when they’re fired by someone who’s not used to shooting.

I really feel bad that I had nothing good to say about these last two episodes. I’m sure there was something in all the hogwash that was worth watching, but I couldn’t seem to see around the FBI agent. Besides, she really made Beckett seem submissive, which should have never happened.

And, the agent’s duties were all wrong, her equipment was silly, and she was overboard obnoxious and condescending. To me, the killer was much nicer. I’d rather endure two root canals than watch another show featuring her character. I certainly hope we never see her again.

I know, let’s ask the guys what they thought about these two episodes…

That’s what I thought.

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