Castle: Deep in Death – A Review

This week’s episode, Deep In Death, was a repeat from earlier in the season. Here’s the review:

Deep In Death

He’s back! Nathan Fillion (Richard Castle) exposed a little “naughty” and a little “nice” in the season opener, Deep In Death. The action heated up quickly when a couple of scantily-clad faux patrol officers used Castle as their private stripper pole during a publicity photo shoot for his latest book. Of course, Detective Beckett (Stana Katic) was offended, or perhaps a little jealous, of the bump and grind. But she was soon reminded by her supervisor that the mayor insisted on the free PR train ride that follows Castle. And, as usual, she was forced to start the season with her civilian partner at her side. But her sly smile was an obvious indicator that she not-so-secretly adores the guy.

The show’s writers wasted no time introducing the star of the show, a dead body. Castle, the show, is known for odd murders with the victims discovered in odd places, and this episode was no exception to the rule. The victim, or “vic” as Beckett spouted nearly every other sentence – it was almost annoying (Very few locations use the term “vic” for victim and “perp” for suspect. Always check with local authorities when researching your stories) –  was found nestled in the forks of a tall tree. As the camera zoomed in on the body, we were treated to our first look at the medical examiner, Lanie Parrish (Tamala Jones) who was perched on the platform of a man lift, examining the victim.

Now, I was pretty hard on Ms. Jones last season. I thought her character was far too wimpy for the position. I know, and have worked with several female medical examiners and coroners, and each of them are very strong women – the best in the business. Anyway, Ms. Jones came out blazing a new trail this year. She started out as tough as nails, with a new look and a bold new attitude. She actually (well, almost) seemed like a real medical examiner. It even seemed like she’d done a little homework, studying her role. Good for her. Her “windpipe was crushed” cause of death was a little shaky for me, but still, this was much better than some of the weird COD statements from last season. So far, so good.

Okay, let’s dive into the story. What was good police procedure, and what wasn’t? Remember, this show is fiction. It’s for our entertainment, and I like it. I really do. I only do this review so the writers who visit this site won’t confuse fact with fiction.

Here goes:

– Beckett was shown taking notes in a small pocket notebook on several occasions. Good stuff. Detectives make tons of notes (have you read any of my spiral notebook posts?).

– During an interview with a murder suspect, Beckett questioned him while they both stood in the interview room. It’s best to have the suspect seated for officer safety, and it keeps the bad guys on a level below the officer (a psychological advantage).

– The medical examiner collected a piece of bloody gauze as evidence, and then placed the item in a plastic, zip lock-type bag. Wet evidence should be placed in paper containers. Plastic bags act as little greenhouses, creating a perfect environment for bacteria, which can degrade or destroy DNA.

– The M.E. claimed she found traces of cocaine residue inside the victim’s body cavity. She would have needed a reason to test that portion of the body for drug residue. This is not a routine part of an autopsy. And, a toxicology report takes a long time (days or weeks) to complete, not the two or three hours as portrayed in this show. Jones was beginning to lose a little of her newly discovered edge by this point in the show. Although, I do have high hopes for her character She’s different this year. I hope it lasts, and I hope her character improves just a bit more (The role, not Ms. Jones’s acting. I’m sure she’s a fine actor).

– I was also pretty hard on Beckett’s two partners last year for entering rooms together, ALWAYS. Not this season. No longer do they seem like Batman and Robin, or conjoined twins. Their dialog and actions seemed pretty realistic, like real detectives in a real world. What a nice improvement over last season. Good job.

– Beckett suggests dusting the inside of a pair of gloves for fingerprints. Good idea. No, an excellent idea. However, a few minutes later we see the medical examiner cutting open a fingertip from the glove in question. Then she proceeded to dust the item with black fingerprint powder using a nylon brush. Nope. Probably wouldn’t happen and there are two reasons why it wouldn’t. First, someone from the fingerprint lab, a CSI tech, or a police officer would perform this task. You don’t see fingerprint techs cutting open dead bodies, right? Why not? because they’re not trained to do those sorts of things, and M.E.’s don’t dust items for prints while a detective watches. Second, dusting with regular powder alone probably wouldn’t reveal a usable print. These methods probably work best:

Ninhydrin follwed by lifting with Gelllifter

Cyanoacrylate (Superglue fuming) followed by treating with Rhodamine 6G

Gentian Violet staining

– The raid on the drug house wasn’t too bad. That’s not exactly how it would go, but it gave a small sense of realism. We’re going to give you guys the opportunity to conduct a real high-risk entry at the Writers Police Academy. Flash bangs and all!

Hey, Castle writers and cast members, you’re all invited to attend our Writers Police Academy in September 2010. It would be our pleasure to show you the ropes, and allow you to experience real police training, designed for writers.

– Three murder suspects were seated in the same room waiting to be questioned while Beckett and their attorney discussed working a deal for a reduced sentence. Suspects should never be placed in the same room. Doing so allows them to compare stories. AND, police officers DO NOT have the authority to make deals with suspects or their attorneys. Only a prosecutor may offer a deal.

– I like the brainstorming session around the whiteboard. I like this because that’s what I used to do (use a whiteboard). In fact, I still do it for my writing.

– Castle is “wired” and sent inside a secret gambling house. This is believable. We sent people inside places like that all the time. However, cops wouldn’t park the surveillance van outside the entrance and then allow Castle to climb out in full view of everyone on the street. This kind of operation is supposed to be sort of secretive.

– Fingerprint matches DO NOT magically pop up on a computer screen moments after they’re submitted. And they certainly don’t come complete with a suspect’s photo, name, address, and shoe size! The FBI sends back a list of possible matches, which are then examined, by hand and eye, by a certified fingerprint examiner. It is he/she who makes the final determination. This scene was right out of a Sci-Fi flick.

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*For those of you visiting The Graveyard Shift for the first time, the Castle reviews are written to help writers, especially mystery  and thriller writers, learn proper police and CSI procedure. I’m not picking on anyone or any particular show. I completely understand that the Castle series is fiction and is written for entertainment purposes. I actually like the show. The Graveyard Shift blog exists to educate writers of all genres.

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Writers’ Police Academy Updates

Registration is officially open and I’m pleased with the number of people who’re taking advantage of the low early registration rate.

Our registration page has been updated. The spammers were killing us with ads.

Award winning horror author Deborah Leblanc has signed on as a Medal of Valor sponsor of the Writers’ Police Academy. Other Medal of Valor sponsors include Writers Digest and Just Write Sites. Thanks to each of you for your very generous donations.

A large portion of the Writers’ Police Academy proceeds will be going to the Guilford Technical Community College Criminal Justice Foundation. Without them this event would not be possible. The instructors for this event also devote a heck of a lot of their time to answering questions for writers.

Please contact us if you’d like to be a sponsor.

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Lieutenant – $75 – $99
Sergeant – $50 – $74
Corporal – $25 – $49
Officer – $10 – $24

Please visit us at www.writerspoliceacademy.com to reserve your spot at this unique event now.

* Space for the FATS training is limited to the first 100 people who sign up for it and we’re rapidly approaching that number!

Remember, hotel rooms are limited due to the number of large events in the Greensboro area. Please reserve your rooms now!

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Castle: One Man’s Treasure – A Review

One Man’s Treasure was written by Elizabeth Davis who also wrote last season’s Little Girl Lost. I recall that I wasn’t a fan of that particular episode. In fact, I described it as a snore-fest. This week, Davis’ second effort at placing words into the mouths of two of TV’s most beloved characters, Castle and Beckett, fell miserably short once again. I could barely stay awake and focused even after consuming mass quantities of hot green tea.

Thankfully, Nathan Fillion, Stana Katic, and the rest of the crew (minus the medical examiner, who was absolutely horrid as usual) held the show above water with their chemistry. There were lots of looks, eye contact, and body language this week. And that’s a good thing because the writing was lacking what we’ve had the pleasure of seeing in the past few episodes. Overall, the show last night was extremely boring and very predictable. For me, and probably because the M.E. was back, this episode was very disappointing.

Now, for the procedure (This one was easy. There wasn’t much to it).

– Lanie Parrish. Need I say more? Bless her heart (That’s a southern catch-all expression that’s used when someone is really sub par. For example, to the mother of an ugly baby, “Bless his little heart, I bet he’s really smart.”) Tamala Jones is simply the wrong person for this part. She’s just not believable. I was so, so tempted to fast forward through her scene, but I sucked it up and took it for the team. However, her information wasn’t all that bad this time. For example:

Parrish stated the victim’s bruises were probably caused by the fall down the garbage chute.  Hmm…could be, but that could only be an accurate statement if the victim hadn’t been dead for very long, which was true in this case.  But the only way she’d know for sure would be to examine the tissue under a microscope. A bruise inflicted after death contains only the normal amount of white cells. Bruises inflicted during life contain an abnormally high number of white blood cells (white blood cells rush to an injury site to help begin the healing process).

– Beckett examines the victim’s Connecticut driver’s license. The date of birth (DOB to cops) was 12-13-78, which would have made the guy 31-years-old in a few weeks. Well, in a later scene Esposito reports, “Sam Parker, age 38, lives in Connecticut with his wife. The detective was off by 7 years.

– The “fiance” was left alone in the morgue with the dead guy. No way, no way, and no way! People are not left alone, in morgues, with dead bodies. They could do anything in there, such as destroying or tampering with evidence. Besides, this is their dearly departed loved one. Passing out, heart attack, and becoming very ill are common reactions to seeing dear old Uncle Billy’s cold body for the first time.

– Beckett’s property room tutorial to Alexis was good information, but it seemed like a forced info dump. Thankfully, it was Beckett who delivered those lines. She’s so good she’d probably make a Brittany Spears song sound good.

Alexis is left-handed, by the way.

…..By now I’m bored to tears and praying for a power failure. No such luck. The show kept moving like it was searching for the final credits, but didn’t quite know where to find them.

– Beckett says, “It’s not uncommon for a witnesses’ memory to become confused after experiencing a traumatic event.” Good information.

– Beckett and Castle question the CEO. He’s all smiles and too cooperative. Okay, was it just me, or had anyone else figured out the murderer’s ID at this point? DUH. And the fiance? Yep, she was definitely guilty of something other than bad acting.

– Beckett is called to a crime scene in Connecticut, yet her jurisdictional boundaries stop in NYC. No big deal, cops go outside their jurisdictions all the time to question people, etc. However, Beckett takes over the scene, offering a deal between the two lawbreakers. That wouldn’t have been her decision. Instead, the Ct. cops would have the final say.

The call came in as a trespassing committed by one suspect and an assault by the other. The woman who broke into the house committed a breaking and entering, a felony. When she took the pen she then committed another crime. Sure, she was trespassing (a misdemeanor) when she committed the crimes, but that’s a lesser included offense for which she probably would not have been charged.

– Castle says killers have “crazy killer eyes.” This is very often true. Once you’ve seen that look you’ll never forget it.

The final scene was great.  Castle says Alexis is a chip off the old block. Beckett’s eye roll in response to his statement was priceless.

Again, Castle and Beckett were fantastic. What the show lacked in writing they made up for in body language and chemistry, thankfully.

*ABC photos

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Writers Police Academy Updates

Registration is officially open!

Please visit us at www.writerspoliceacademy.com to reserve your spot at this unique event now.

Space for the FATS training is limited to the first 100 people who sign up for it and we’re rapidly approaching that number!

I’m very pleased with the early response to the academy. We’ve been steadily receiving reservations from all across the country and Canada.

* Remember, the hotel also has limited space due to other large events in the area. Please register early and be sure to tell them you’re registering for the Writers’ Police Academy to receive our special rate. If you’ve already registered and didn’t ask for the rate please call the hotel. They’ll make the adjustment.

Our block of rooms is filling quickly.

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Castle: Love Me Dead – A Review

I’m popping open a bottle of champagne after watching this episode. I honestly think it was their best effort to date. I’m actually kind of shocked that I can’t say enough about the wonderful combination of wit, snappy dialog, emotions, and really nice father/daughter interaction.

Oh, and the police procedure was pretty darn good as well. There were a few sticky points, but we’ll get to those in a second.

First, this show, Love Me Dead, was written by Alexi Hawley. You may remember that name from an earlier episode called Fool Me Once, also a decent, well-written show that actually made me want to watch instead of pausing every few seconds to scribble a note or two about some idiotic comment made by that poor excuse for a medical examiner, Lanie Parrish. You know, I really feel sorry for the actor who plays that character. She’s much better than the part she has to play.

Luckily for us, Lanie Parrish wasn’t in this episode. I almost felt as if I’d been given a second chance at life when I finally saw the credits begin to roll, knowing I wouldn’t hear her stupid, stupid SciFi forensics babbling. I have to admit that I watched the show last night in fear, worrying that she’d suddenly pop on screen.

Now, after having seen the entire episode I finally realized what’s not working for Castle (the show). There’s been a very real stumbling block that a good editor would cut from a novel, and it’s not just the Lanie Parrish character. It’s the medical examiner thing as a whole. In the past the writers have been alternating medical examiners, Lanie for a week or two and then Dr. Perlmutter shows up for a while. Perlmutter is definitely the better character, but neither of the two seem to fit with the rest of the Castle family. Their appearances are forced and out of sync, and they slow the pace of the show.

The absence of both M.E.’s last night was a real breath of fresh air and the show reflected it. It was fast-paced, clean, and fun. I still say a good technical adviser would make all the difference in the world. Maybe they have one, I don’t know. But if they do they need to start listening to what their expert is telling them. Of course, they’d learn all this if they’d just sign up for the Writers’ Police Academy.

Anyway, ABC really needs to keep this team in place, with Hawley at the keyboard, leaving the directing and producing to the folks who handled that sort of thing last night. Although I’m sure Alexi Hawley is an excellent producer, his writing chops are what’s keeping this series afloat.

Okay, enough about that. Let’s move on to what we’re here for, the police procedure and other law enforcement goodies.

– The dead guy was the D.A. so someone called the captain to the scene. That’s what would probably happen in the real world. The higher the status of the deceased, the higher the rank that’s called out.

– Det. Kevin Ryan (Seamus Dever) is seen wearing a golf/polo-type shirt. That was nice to see for a change. Detectives don’t always show up for work dressed like GQ models. They wear clothing like the outfit Dever wore in this week’s show. It’s practical, especially when you’re hitting the streets digging for evidence.

– I had a difficult time figuring out how Beckett managed to slam a big burly guy into a bar. She didn’t use any sort of cop-type take-down maneuver at all.  She must have eaten a double dose of Wheaties before she came to work, because she manhandled that guy like a mixed martial artist. Who knows, maybe she’s an energy drink junkie.

– Beckett and Castle took a handcuffed murder suspect on a ride to help locate a building that may have been a clue in the case. Yes, this is done all the time.

– Castle sitting in the backseat playing Houdini with the suspect and a pair of cuffs was hilarious.

– Beckett told the hooker that she was going to arrest her if she didn’t answer Beckett’s questions. That’s not exactly ethical. Officers can’t threaten or coerce suspects into making statements or confessions.

– Detectives Ryan and Esposito were pretty good in this episode. In fact, their banter with the vice cop was realistic. These two should get the award for most improved actors, because they’re becoming better cops with each show. And I’m so happy that they’ve almost stopped doing the conjoined twin thing, where they enter rooms together, looking like they’re connected at the hip.

– Beckett told one of her partners to call the prison and have them bring an inmate to the police station so she could question him. No way. Cops go to the prisons if they want to question a prisoner. The risk for escape and injury goes through the roof whenever an inmate is taken outside the confines of the prison. There are secure interview rooms available inside all prisons.

– The call girl gets caught in a lie and Beckett says she’ll charge her with obstruction of justice if she doesn’t tell the truth.

That was a good call, one that’s a real favorite among the Feds. They love to tack on that obstruction of justice charge. It’s a great tool, because the charge carries an automatic ten years in the federal penitentiary, if convicted. Suspects quickly start talking when they’re faced with serving the extra time.

– Beckett tells Castle that a suspect doesn’t have to talk to police if he’s not under arrest. She’s right. The only information people are legally required to provide are things like name, address, and date of birth – the basics.

– The police procedure was pretty good until the action scene where they’re all suited up, getting ready to kick in the suspect’s door.

 

The group, all wearing bulletproof vests, are walking through an alley while Esposito is briefing them about how and why’s of what they’re about to do. Three steps from the door you’re about to kick in is not the time to go over those important details. In real life they’d have gone over every minute item before they approached the residence.

– The arrest of the female murder suspect was good. The detective said, “Stand please,” and then he applied the handcuffs. There was no use of force, and no “slapping on the cuffs.” It wasn’t necessary and that’s how it’s done in real life, if possible. However, the second the detective starting walking the suspect away he began spouting off the Miranda warnings – You have the right to… No, Miranda is only required prior to questioning, not the second you apply handcuffs to someone’s wrists. This was wrong.

Still, Castle and Beckett are perfect for their roles. And, as usual, they looked marvelous. Just like real actors playing cops, only prettier – both of them.

 

What do you guys think? Was this the best episode yet?

ABC photos

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Writers Police Academy

Registration is officially open!

Please visit us at www.writerspoliceacademy.com to reserve your spot at this unique event now.

Space is limited!

I’m very pleased with the early response. We’ve been steadily receiving reservations from all across the country and Canada.

Remember, the hotel also has limited space due to other large events in the area. Please register early!

See you there.

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Castle: Kill the Messenger – A Review

Castle: Kill The Messenger

 

Kill The Messenger, this week’s episode, was written by Terence Paul Winter. I have to admit that I was intrigued when I read that Mr. Winter wrote this episode. I knew that he’d once played the part of Lee, one of Al Bundy’s football buddies on the hit comedy, Married With Children. Winter has also appeared in, and written for The Sopranos, another of my favorite shows. Well, needless to say, I could hardly wait to see what this very talented guy had in store for Castle and company. Besides, Winter had played the part of a character named Lee, so he has to be one of the good guys, right? Let’s see how he did…

The first thing I want to point out would have been a very important clue had this been a real murder investigation. In this case, it’s an accident that I don’t think we were supposed to notice. If you have the show recorded you’ll want to go back to the beginning  to see this for yourself.

The opening scene shows a bike messenger peddling his way through city streets when he’s intentionally struck by a car. He lands on the pavement, dead, and his bike is clearly lying in front of the suspect’s car, sort of under the front end, near the driver’s side tire.

The driver/killer gets out of his car and rushes over to the dead messenger. He grabs the dead guy’s backpack, then hurries back to his car and speeds away. Well, when the killer got back in his car the bike was no longer in front of the vehicle. Instead, it was lying off to the left-hand side of the bad guy’s car, well out of the way, which allowed the driver to make a really cool getaway. Obviously, a crew member had moved the bike to allow the action-packed escape, but in real life it looked like the video had been altered. That’s the stuff detectives watch for.

– Becket once again told someone to issue an APB (All Points Bulletin). Those alerts are now called BOLO’s (Be On The Lookout).

– Beckett’s boss, Captain Montgomery, made a comment about budget cuts affecting the case clearance rate in his division. He also stated that his superiors would still expect cases to be solved even with less funding and less manpower. This is a very real occurrence. I know that mayors and city council members all across the country take a good look at stats at the end of each month. Anyone who’s not pulling their weight could soon find themselves back in uniform, walking a beat.

– When a suspect’s name popped up on a terrorist watch list, Beckett and crew immediately suited up in full SWAT gear and then kicked in the door to what they thought belonged to the terrorist guy. Well, they were wrong. Instead, the apartment belonged to a sick, elderly woman. Hold on…Wait a minute! Whoa, Nellie…Do me a favor, guys. Close your eyes for a moment and let this scene really sink in. Get a good mental image of it in your mind. Got it? Okay, those of you who have my book on police procedure, please turn to page 229 and read the short anecdotal section there. Tell me what you think. Coincidence?

Oh, and what about a search warrant? Not to mention that little thing called probable cause. They had neither.

– I loved the scene where Castle and Beckett’s two sidekicks were sitting on the couch during the search, drinking coffee while cats climbed all over them. Hilarious, yes, but could that really happen? Sure, and someday I’ll have to tell you about the time my entry team and I searched the residence of a very well-known show business person. The elderly grandmother there (she was not the target of the investigation) insisted that we take a break during the search to partake in an elaborate buffet, including wine and champagne, that she’d ordered her staff to prepare for us. I couldn’t seem to make her understand the seriousness of the situation. Of course, we didn’t allow the staff to begin slicing, dicing, chopping, and cooking, and we couldn’t accept her offer, but that didn’t stop the little lady from trying to extend her hospitality.

– Captain Montgomery delivered the news that a suspect had been “shanked” at the prison. Good terminology. Shank is slang for a homemade weapon that’s capable of cutting or stabbing. He later referred to a similar weapon as a “shiv.” Same thing, different name.

– Beckett and company obtained a copy of phone call recordings from the prison. Not all prisons operate exactly the same. Many prisons do not record all inmate phone calls, nor do they listen in on all conversations. Normally, calls are monitored randomly, unless illegal activity is suspected. Then officials may listen in and/or record all calls made by the suspect.

If you managed to hear the beginning of the taped conversation made by the prisoner you heard a female accept a collect call. FYI – Not all inmate phone calls are collect calls. Most institutions have an inmate account system in place where the prisoners are allowed to purchase items in the prison store. They also use that same account to pay for phone calls.

Calls made using the account are billed at a normal rate, similar to what we pay for our home telephone calls. Collect calls, however, are billed at a tremendously high rate, possibly as high as four or five dollars per minute, maybe more. Fees collected from these calls are split between the prison and the company providing the service. It’s very profitable for both organizations. However, it’s a huge financial burden for family members who try to remain in contact with with the inmate.

– Inmates are normally very careful about what they say while using prison telephones. They know that phone calls may be monitored.

– The prisoner who was killed had been incarcerated for ten years and was still married. His wife was patiently waiting for him.  Normally (not always), relationships end after a few years once a spouse has been locked up. Relationships in these situations rarely make it to the decade mark.

– Beckett told one of her crew members to check the prisoner’s email records. Inmates do not have access to the internet. In fact, all inmate computer activity is closely supervised and is normally allowed only in a classroom setting. They’re not permitted to possess discs, thumbdrives, etc.

– Do you agree with Castle’s statement, “If a writer nails the beginning of a story then the rest simply falls in place.”

– M.E. Perlmutter is shown eating a meal in the morgue. Sure, I’ve seen coroners and M.E.’s having a bite to eat in the morgue. This guy plays a pretty good part. I wonder why his lines are better than those of the screwy female M.E.?

– Okay, Perlmutter did make a questionable statement. He said that injuries on a dead body (skull) weren’t consistent with the former M.E.’s report stating the death was caused by a blow to the head with a baseball bat. Then he said the previous M.E. probably didn’t conduct a thorough autopsy since the suspect confessed to the murder (using the bat). No way a pathologist would stop in mid-autopsy just because someone confessed to the crime. That’s not proof of anything. Too many people confess to crimes they didn’t commit.

– One of the detectives said that the prison warden refused to release a roster containing names of prison guards who may have participated in the murder of the prisoner. He also said the warden was going to keep the murder investigation in-house.  If this is a state facility the state police would probably investigate the murder. If it was a federal prison then the U.S. Marshals or the FBI would take the case. Of course, each prison has their own investigators who would assist in the investigation.

– Some of the interview scenes in this show were pretty good, with the exception of the one where two brothers/murder suspects were interviewed together, in the same room. Always separate witnesses and suspects.

-Beckett’s death notice delivery was decent. That’s a part of the job we all hate. And, it takes a special cop to do it properly. I’ve known cops who’ve called someone on the phone to tell them their spouse has just been killed. That’s horrible. I always delivered the news in person. It’s an unpleasant part of the job, but family deserves that final bit of dignity and compassion.

– M.E. Perlmutter tells Beckett and Castle to stand back prior to opening a casket that had been recently exhumed. He told them to be prepared for the worst decomposition and stench that one could ever imagine. The body had been dead and buried for ten years. Decomposition would have been completed long ago and there wouldn’t have been anything left that could possibly cause an odor. Well, with the exception of some of the forensic material in this show. That certainly stinks.

Oh, the M.E. is shown dusting items for prints. That’s a job for CSI or police officers. M.E.’s don’t dust for latent prints, and cops don’t perform autopsies. That’s kind of the rule of thumb.

* ABC photos

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Writers Police Academy

There has been a slight delay in getting the Writers’ Police Academy registration online. We want to make sure everything is perfect before we do open registration. Hopefully , we’ll see it in a day or two. Thanks for your patience.

There is a test page up at www.writerspoliceacademy.com so you can get an idea of what the site looks like.  Keep in mind that this is just a test page. There are still a few errors, missing information, and incomplete text.

Remember, the hotel has limited space due to other large events in the area. Please register early! In fact, some people have already begun securing their rooms. If you plan to attend the academy I strongly urge you to do the same.

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Castle: Famous Last Words – A Review

Famous Last Words. That’s the title assigned to this week’s show, Episode 7, written by Jose Molina. First of all, I want to thank Mr. Molina for sparing us the torture that comes with episodes featuring the Lanie Parrish character. I’d gathered all the necessary provisions that I thought I might need to help me make it through a night of Parrish and her forensic pukery – garlic cloves, wooden stakes, silver bullets, and barf bags, but to my relief she’d been written out of this one. Hooray! Instead, we were treated to a very brief visit with M.E. Perlmutter (pictured above with the camera).

I’ve said it in the past, but I’ll mention once again that the Perlmutter character is pretty good. He seems more like a real M.E. than do most TV M.E.’s and coroners. His comment about the cause of death in tonight’s episode was short, sweet, and sort of believable. He said, “The cause of death is a broken neck. At least that’s my prelim.” Based on things he could actually see at the crime scene (Remember, a crime scene is anywhere evidence of a crime can be found. The scene of the crime is where the actual crime took place) Perlmutter says he believed the murder took place somewhere else and the body was brought to the current location, and staged. That’s good stuff. He made an educated guess based on his experience.

Parrish, on the other hand, would have spouted off some sort of Martian gobblety-gook, like the crooked alignment of sweat glands in the neck indicated the cause of death as a blunt trauma to the large intestine. Of course, she would go on to say, that could only mean one thing…the killer was a 32-year-old dwarf, left-handed, albino chimpanzee from the Congo.

Anyway, on with the show…

– Beckett removed and handled the victim’s IPod which could have destroyed or altered evidence such as fingerprints.

– One of Beckett’s sidekicks reported that all shoe prints – a dozen of them – in the area where the body was found had been checked and sized. They ranged from size 5 through size 11. Amazingly, he had done this in the time it took Beckett and Castle to return to the police department from the murder scene. What’s more amazing  was that he actually did this. How? Where’d he find the prints? On concrete? Why did he do this? What did he hope to learn? That people wear shoes? This is New York City, right? I wonder how many people have walked on that particular piece of pavement?

The junior detective did say that he’d checked and learned that there were no security cameras in the area. Now this was good information. Cameras are everywhere these days.

– It was nice to see Castle listening to his daughter’s ideas. Good investigators listen to everyone. Tunnel vision is not a detective’s friend.

– Okay, one of the worst things I’ve ever seen on this show happened next. This one even tops some of the Parrish buffoonery. In fact, it was so bad that I received an email from Lt. Dave Swords the second it happened. He couldn’t believe what he was watching either. What, you ask, could have been so horrible that it prompted two old-school cops to begin exchanging emails like teens texting during a trip to the mall? It was the wacky, crazy, bizarre stop and search by Beckett and crew of a public bus.

This scene was beyond ridiculous. First of all, the bus was overflowing with innocent people. Cops would never stop a public transport vehicle in the manner that Beckett, Larry, and Curly did on this show. The idea is to protect and save lives, not endanger them. So, passing the bus, sliding to a sideways stop in front of it, and jumping out with guns drawn wasn’t exactly very safe to begin with. But to board the bus with weapons drawn and then order everyone to “Show me your hands, now!” was just plain stupid with a capital S. Why didn’t Beckett take it one step further and paint a bright red bulls eye on her forehead before storming the bus?

Lets just suppose for a moment that the suspect was indeed on the bus, and he was. He was a murder suspect, right? And what do murder suspects sometimes have in their little pockets? That’s right, guns and knives. To board the bus as Beckett did endangered the lives of everyone on the bus, including the police. Also, this could have easily turned into a hostage situation or mass murder courtesy of NYPD.

– Beckett locates the suspect and pulls him to his feet. A slight struggle ensues and Beckett ends it by striking the guy between his shoulder blades with her pistol. She delivered that “crushing” (I’m kidding) blow from a distance of about six inches. I seriously doubt she could have wounded a crippled baby gnat with the amount of force that could have been generated in that move. Yet it sent the grown man, whose adrenaline had to pumping hard, to his knees. Un- $%#ing – believable. You know, Mr. Molina, it’s not legal, yet, to smoke that stuff. It’s coming, I believe, but that day’s not here yet. I know, Lewis Carroll came up with a pretty fair story whie tripping, but…

By the way, cops are NOT trained to use their guns for hitting people.

– The suspect lands on the floor at Beckett’s feet after receiving the powerhouse strike to the back. She immediately tells him he’s under arrest for murder. The only people who should be under arrest at this point are the show’s writers and producers. She had nothing – no probable cause, no evidence, no nothing. The last time I checked it wasn’t illegal to buy a bus ticket.

Factually, this was a horribly written scene.

– Beckett is interviewing a murder suspect inside a department interview room. He pulls out his phone to play a video for Beckett. No way. He’d have been searched prior to entering the room and his belongings would have been held, especially a communication device.

– Beckett says, “Everybody looks like a killer to me. It’s a job requirement.” Good statement. Cops don’t trust anyone at first. An old sheriff’s captain once said to me, “Treat everybody as a suspect and you’ll live to come to work tomorrow. Besides, we just arrest ’em. It’s up to God and the judge to sort the good ones from the bad.”

– Beckett told another person this week that he couldn’t leave town. Nope. Cops don’t have that authority. People can come and go as they please unless a court orders otherwise. I’m beginning to think the writers are using boilerplate scripts since a few lines seem to pop up every week. I wonder if they use Movie Magic Screenwriter software?

– The murder victim’s sister is in the morgue, alone with her sister’s body. She also drinking from a liquor bottle. People aren’t allowed to roam, at will, through any law enforcement-type facility. Morgues have a ton of evidence that must be protected from contamination. The sister was there, supposedly, to ID the body. Most M.E.’s offices nowadays don’t allow up close contact during the ID process. Many offices use photos, or have the person view the body through a glass.

– Beckett says the M.E. analyzed the victim’s lipstick and found that it was a certain brand, type, and even learned the specific color name. M.E.’s don’t do evidence analysis on things like lipstick. That sort of thing is performed by specially trained scientists or techs.There’s a mention later in the show about the M.E. testing gunpowder, too. Nope. Nope. And, nope.

– Castle locates a bullet hole in a wall panel in the office of a murder suspect (yep, another suspect). Beckett looks at the hole and says it’s looks like a .38 caliber round made the hole. No way she could tell this by merely looking at the hole.

Bullet calibers are measured in inches (a .25 caliber bullet is .25 inches, or 1/4 inch in diameter).  For example:

.38 Special diameter = .357 inches

.38 Smith and Wesson = .354-.360

.357 Magnum = .357-.359 inches

.35 Remington = .358 inches

.380 Auto – .355 inches

So you see, a simple eyeballing is not enough to determine what size bullet made a particular hole. The material struck by the bullet would affect the hole size as well. Paper tears, while wood splinters. And so on.

Here’s a test. What caliber bullet made this hole?

See what I mean?

– Again, an attorney sits in on Beckett’s hard-nose interrogation of his client without saying a word. No way. An attorney would never allow this to take place at all. They certainly would not permit the cops to rake their clients over the coals.

– I liked the director’s attempt to show the murderer’s body language when Beckett and Castle confront him with proof that he committed the crime. This is the moment all investigators hope to reach, when the suspect’s eyes begin to tell the story. He begins to touch his face, throat, and ears. His eyes start searching the room. No eye contact with the interviewer. Then, the head drops and he sighs. Maybe a tear falls at this point.

Finally, the connection. He looks into your eyes and says, in a quiet, meek voice, “I did it. I killed Episode 7 with that crappy bus scene.”

*ABC photos

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Castle: Vampire Weekend – A Review

Castle: Vampire Weekend

Goodness, where do I start with this fiasco titled Vampire Weekend? It’s always best to begin with something positive, so I’ll say this…I’m positive this was absolutely the worst episode of Castle that’s aired so far. Honestly, it was painful to watch.

I was optimistic about the show this week, because last week’s episode was just so darn good. I’m guessing the difference is in the writing. Well, that and you know who (the M.E.) was back. That woman single-handedly destroyed this episode. What a freakin’ train wreck! But in all fairness, she’s not writing her own lines. However, the M.E. last week was really good and I doubt he was doing improv.

Thankfully, I have a ruptured disc in my lower back and the pain medication prescribed by my doctor helped me sit through what I can only describe as garbage TV.

Nathan Fillion was great, as always. And Stana Katic (Beckett) just gets better and better. Her portrayal of a tough as nails cop is well-played. She also cleans up quite nicely. And she can be funny as well. Fillion’s charm and wit along with the great chemistry between him and Beckett are the only things keeping this series from sinking to the bottom of the septic tank.

Let’s take this one step at a time, starting with a comment made by Beckett as she and Castle walked through a cemetery heading to the first murder scene. She said that Halloween week is one of the worst weeks for cops. That statement was on the money. Halloween does seem to bring out the real crazies, like the people who raid graves searching for souvenirs (yep, I once worked a case where that happened). Of course, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Flag Day, Father’s Day, National Bird Day, Bean Day, and Fruitcake Toss Day all have their own special crazies.

And speaking of crazies, let’s get it over with. Enter the medical examiner. Shoot me now…please.

The pathologist is seen sitting beside the dead body of a young man. A wooden stake had been driven through his heart. M.E. Parrish is taking notes and says to Beckett, “Looks like he struggled.” How did she know this? Were there defensive wounds/splinters in his hands? Did he look tired? Worn out? Did he have that “freshly struggled” look on his face?

– Her next words of wisdom were, “He was hit on the head before he was stabbed.” Again, how would she know this prior to autopsy?

– She found hair on the body and said it was synthetic, and came from a wig. There’s no way she could know this without lab testing, which, by the way, the M.E. doesn’t do in the morgue. That’s a job for scientists and techs in another department, or maybe even another facility. And she certainly wouldn’t know the results of that testing so soon. Of course, she could offer her opinion, but this woman has super-forensic powers and doesn’t need scientific testing equipment.

– Parrish says the victim had two avulsions (flesh that’s torn away) near the femoral arteries. Later she says they were puncture wounds. The wounds were inflicted by an admitted female vampire who was merely drinking blood from the victim prior to his death (this was a consensual act and had nothing to do with the murder) caused the wounds by drinking/sucking blood. Therefore, I’d assume the wounds were punctures, not true avulsions. After all, she wasn’t eating the flesh.

– Parrish says that in order to break the ribcage with the wooden stake the killer would have had to use a rock to drive it in. Why not a hammer, or something similar? Why would it have to be a rock?

– Beckett tells the M.E. to “run” the stake for prints. Without a doubt, the M.E. would send the stake out for  examination. The police would want it tested for many things, such as prints, DNA, and trace. But medical examiners don’t generally fingerprint items themselves as we’ve seen this one do in the past. Apparently she runs a one-stop operation. Besides, Beckett isn’t her boss.

– I have to give credit where credit is due. Detective Kevin Ryan, played by Seamus Dever, gets better every week. He’s actually beginning to act and sound like a real cop. His partner, Javier Esposito (Jon Huertas) is also rising above rookie status. I noticed his sidearm, badge, spare magazines, and handcuffs were positioned properly this week.

-Beckett enters a dark room to search for a suspect. She holds her flashlight against her gun, in front of her body. This is not something that’s normally taught during police training. Close, but not quite. The manner in which Beckett held the light made her a target if the suspect had been armed and fired at the light source.

– A crazed suspect jumps on Castle, attacking him. Beckett, along with Larry and Curly, danced around the struggling duo while aiming their semi-autos at the pair of fighters. Real cops would have pounced on that guy. He’d have been cuffed and stuffed before you could say, “The medical examiner character is awful.”

– A mentally ill suspect (the man who jumped Castle) is in a holding cell. The M.E. walks out of the cell area and offers a diagnosis of the man’s condition – his mental condition! So, not only is she the M.E. and psychic forensic evidence dreamer-upper, now she’s a shrink.

– But wait, it gets better. She treats Castle’s wounds (he was bitten during the scuffle with the mentally ill guy) with an antibacterial something or other. In real life he’d have been transported to a hospital. Bite wounds are pretty dangerous. Besides, how many pathologists do you see treating live patients?

– Was I seeing things, or was the psychologist on the show played by the Jack, the UPS driver from Mad TV?

– The M.E. examines the dead werewolf guy. She says he was killed by a round from a 9mm. Again, she couldn’t known this without firearms testing. She also said the wolfman’s hair was synthetic and had been glued to his body with spirit gum. More psychic babble.

– She pinpointed a victim’s death to within two hours of another victim’s murder that had happened a few days before. She made her determination based on lividity, which becomes fixed after a while, deterioration of the body, and the smell of spoiled Thai food in the room. She figured all this out before any testing, while still at the crime scene. She also said the victim had been killed during the day. To verify her diagnosis, the victim’s watch had stopped at 4:00 on Oct. 27. I’ve investigated many homicides in my day, and not once has the victim’s watch ever stopped at the exact time of death.

– Beckett questions, no, she interrogates a murder suspect with his attorney sitting beside him. This would never happen. No attorney worth his retainer fee would ever allow his client to speak with the police unless some sort of deal/protection was in place.

– Castle walks the female killer through a section of holding cells that contains male prisoners. No way.

Finally, the best part of the show appeared on screen, the end.

Oh, Beckett’s costume was funny – the little puppet that popped out when she opened her coat.

ABC photos

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Castle: When the Bough Breaks – A Review

Castle: When The Bough Breaks

When the screen went dark and the credits began to roll on episode five, When The Bough Breaks, I wanted to dance. I wanted to kiss babies, pet a puppy, and plant a tree. I even had the wild urge to climb on my rooftop and shout to the world. I wanted everyone to know that the show was, as far as police procedure and forensics go, pretty darn good! Actually, the entire show was fun in it’s own silly little way.

Writer/producer Rene’ Echevarria’ single-handedly pulled off what I thought was lost cause. He found the missing magic, the mojo, the secret formula that made this show so appealing in the beginning. And best of all, there were no stupid, goofy, ridiculous, hard to believe, ramblings from unbelievable characters.

After watching this episode, the root of the show’s past problems became glaringly obvious. First, we’ve seen a different medical examiner, M.E. Perlmutter played by Ayre Gross (although in his last appearance he was a coroner), in two episodes.

Both of those shows were really good. His character is so, so believable. He’d even make Tamala Jones’s foolish ramblings seem plausible.

Second, the Castle writers have been trying too hard to add unnecessary, way cool elements of CSI, but it hasn’t worked. Not at all. In past episodes the CSI bells and whistles have seemed awkward, and forced. They stand out from the rest of the show like throbbing sore thumbs. And that’s what this blog is all about, educating writers so they won’t make those same mistake in their books. There’s nothing worse than reading an out of place phrase that takes the reader out of the story. Thankfully, Rene’ Echevarrio’ put a great big band aid on a chronically aching thumb. This episode flowed nicely.

Now, on with the police stuff.

– Beckett arrived at the scene of a homicide, got out of her car, and left her lights flashing. That’s totally unnecessary when you’re not in traffic, or in an emergency situation. BUT…nearly all cops do that. It’s habit. Almost all crime scenes look like disco dance floors because of all the winking, blinking, flashing, and flickering red and blue lights. Besides, it looks cool. Good scene.

– The new M.E. was totally believable. I could work with this guy. Even his morgue scene was realistic. He’s a natural. Watch out Quincy!

– Beckett and crew chase a suspect through a restaurant kitchen. One of Beckett’s partners, in a wrestling ring-type move, takes him down. By the way, not every police takedown is a by-the-book technique. Things don’t always happen to allow that sort of thing. I’ve seen many weird take-downs, like the one we saw on this show, or worse. This was a good scene. Anyway, Beckett slaps on a cuff and immediately tells the guy he’s under arrest. What for? It’s not against the law to run from the police. Now, he is suspect in a murder, so they could legally cuff him for their safety (and they should), especially since he did run, but technically he didn’t break any laws.

– Beckett and Castle enter an interview room. Becketts says, “You’ve been advised of your rights…” Suspects should always be advised of Miranda each time a new officer takes over the interview. Even if the interviewing officers take a lengthy break (overnight), they should repeat the process before re-starting the interview. Beckett’s interview of the victim’s husband was good.

– The composite drawing looked like a portrait drawn during a sitting. I’ve never seen one look this good. Robin Burcell? Thoughts?

– I still want to hear if NYPD cops use the term “vic” as much as these guys do. Remember, this is not used universally among police officers. In most areas, cops say victim, not vic.

– Beckett’s interview of the doctor (the murderer) was good. Although, I was a bit disappointed that she fell for his story. Her character is much too tough for that.

I’m sure we could all appreciate the irony in Castle’s agent complaining that he wouldn’t return her calls. Yeah, right. Somehow I think the shoe was on the wrong foot. You guys have that problem, right? Agents call you every day, right?


The chemistry between Castle and Beckett was fantastic, and the show had a real ending this week. Great job Mr. Echerarrio’

ABC photos

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Castle: Fool Me Once – A Review

I almost want to jump up and turn cartwheels (in spite of the ruptured disc in my back). This week’s show was definitely a cut above what we’ve had to endure so far this season. In fact, it was so much better I didn’t even yell and scream at the medical examiner. Okay, I did cringe a couple of times at her goofy comments, and I only threw the remote at the TV once while she was on screen, but at least her fantasy forensics were held to a minimum in this episode.

Fool Me Once – the fourth episode of season two – was written by Alexi Hawley (Hawley also cranked out several episodes of the Unusuals). You also may have seen a little screenplay of his called The Exorcist: The Beginning.

Hawley may have saved the show from making a final swirl at the bottom of the toilet bowl. He managed to bring back the snappy dialog between the regulars, and he lit a fire under the smokin’ hot chemistry between Castle and Beckett – chemistry that was slowly fading into the sunset. And Beckett’s bathtub scene certainly did nothing to hurt the ratings.

I believe Alexi Hawley has written one other episode for this season. I hope we see more.

There were many other positive aspects about this week’s show, but we’re here for the police procedure and forensics, so off we go.

The murder victim is shot in the face at close range while sitting inside a tent, inside an apartment. Needless to say, there was a generous amount of blood spatter on the tent walls and surrounding area. This is crucial evidence. So where does our genius medical examiner plant her rear end to take notes? I couldn’t believe it when the camera showed her sitting inside the tent, on the floor, surrounded by blood and brain matter!

Next, the endless babbling brook of stupid information (the M.E.) points to a hole in the tent and tells Beckett that the height of the hole indicates the shooter was between 5’3″ and 6’0″ tall. There is absolutely no freakin’ way she could know that by looking at the tear in the tent fabric. A trained CS technician would have to check the trajectory of the round to determine the angle that the bullet entered the tent, and even that wouldn’t give you the height of the shooter. The killer could have held the gun over his head, between his legs, behind his back, been standing on a ladder…well, you get the picture.

M.E. Lainie Parrish describes something (who knows what) to Castle and Beckett)

Geez, Louise, don’t these people ever watch Forensic Files, or The First 48? I know they haven’t read my book, Police Procedure and Investigation. Please, please, please Mr. Hawley, please contact me so I can send you a copy. I’ll donate it to the show! That would be a small price to pay to stop the pain inflicted each week by the the M.E. It’s like I invite the M.E. character into my home so she can jam an ice pick into my ear. Her words sometimes hurt that much!

– Beckett smells a weapon owned by a possible murder suspect. She did so to see if it had been fired recently. That was okay, but she probably destroyed any possible fingerprints when she handled the weapon.

– Beckett said to put out an APB (All Points Bulletin) for a suspect. I don’t know of any agency still using that terminology. It’s possible, but departments these days use BOLO (Be On The Lookout). We’d have to check with the NYPD to see if they still use APB.

– The victim’s girlfriend goes into a bank to withdraw a million dollars in cash. She comes out of the bank a couple of minutes later with a silver briefcase supposedly filled with the loot. Can someone actually withdraw that much case in that short amount of time? And, where’d she get the briefcase? She didn’t have it when she entered the bank. Maybe the establishment gives a free briefcase to every customer who withdraws a million dollars.

– Finally, when Beckett and Castle corner the killer she’s sitting inside her car. They calmly talk to her with the car door open. Becket doesn’t have a gun in her hand, and neither does the killer. But when Beckett’s sidekicks roll up (they’re still joined at the hip, entering rooms side by side, matching step for step) they jump out of their unmarked cars with weapons drawn, ordering the woman to show her hands. This is something Beckett should have done when she first approached the killer, not talk to her as if they were about to exchange pecan pie recipes.

By the way, this (above) is a horrible, unsafe handcuffing technique. We’ll be teaching the proper methods at the Writers Police Academy next September. Remember Castle cops, you’re all invited. Tamala Jones, too. We even have a NYC medical examiner on hand just for you. Seriously, folks, Jonathan Hayes, NYC M.E./author is one of the workshop instructors for the Writers Police Academy. He’s fantastic. Details and registration soon.

That’s it for this week. All in all, the show was pretty darn good. The father/daughter scenes were good. The humor was back. The dialog was crisp. Oh, did I mention Beckett’s bathtub scene…

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Castle: Inventing The Girl – A Review

Well, another Castle episode is in the history books. This week’s show titled Inventing The Girl was written by David Grae, an accomplished TV veteran with many popular shows to his credit, like Gilmore Girls, Without a Trace, and Moose Mating. Yep, you read that right, Moose Mating.

Grae has also penned the majority of the Castle episodes, which is why I’m a bit confused this week. His writing is normally sharp, quick, and humorous, for the most part. Tonight, I’m almost ashamed to admit it, but my wife had to wake me twice during the show. I fell asleep in mid note-taking. Trying to watch this particular episode could be compared to swallowing a fist full of Ambien with a wine chaser.

I’m beginning to wonder if I’m falling out of like (can’t say love because that was never there) with the series? Is it just me, or have the episodes become carbon copies of past episodes? Are they stamping out cookie-cutter scripts with new characters as killer and victim?

Anyway, I’m not here to judge the show, just the police procedure and a small portion of the forensics. This is a short one this week because there wasn’t much substance to the entire episode. So here goes…

– The body of a young fashion model was discovered among a grouping of decorative sidewalk fountains, the kind that spout streams of water and mist while various colored lights blink on and off.

Beckett instructs the team to search all garbage cans and dumpsters for the model’s missing purse. That’s a good move. Crooks often search the bag and then toss it after collecting the loot from inside.

I’m not quite sure how Beckett knew the woman had a purse, but I may have already been dozing by this time.

– Enter the medical examiner…Hoo boy, time to look for the barf bags.

– At the scene of the crime, Medical Examiner Lanie Parrish announces that the victim died of a fatal stab wound to the back. How could she know this was the cause of death before conducting an autopsy???? No way.

For all she knew the woman could have died from a peanut allergy and then fallen on a pitchfork, which was taken away by space aliens. Grrrr…….

Hey, the body is lying on a blue tarp. Where’d that come from, and what happened to evidence that might have been found beneath the body? Gone now for sure.

– Parrish then stated that a cut on the inside of the victim’s mouth indicated she’d been slapped really hard. There was no bruising on the outside of the face to corroborate that theory, so how’d she know this wound wasn’t a the result of a horrific tooth-brushing accident? I’m just saying.

– Here comes the icing on the cake that put the noose around my neck. It’s okay, that rope was consensual, because I was ready to end my suffering right about now. But the torture continued…

Parrish The Ridiculous drew a detailed mini replica of the Washington Monument. She even added tiny measurements to the scale drawing. Why, you ask, would a medical examiner do such a thing? Well, she claimed she could somehow see that Washington Monument-like shape embedded inside the victim’s body, like a YouTube video. Supposedly, the impression was left by the murder weapon. Can you hear me screaming out there!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was wishing someone would come along and slap my horse on the rear end so he’d run away leaving me hanging from the old willow tree, like Clint Eastwood in Hang ‘Em high. I needed relief!

– The human body is not a lump of modeling clay that would leave a perfectly impressed, true to life, scaled image of an edged or blunt weapon. Not even close. I mean this goofy woman even detailed the point of the object, stating it was one inch in length. She also stated the object was made of glass since she found traces of glass in the body. Maybe so, maybe no. Did she send the material to the lab for analysis? Nope. For all she knew, the stuff was granulated sugar.

– Parrish claimed the victim’s tox report indicated traces of a specific drug. Nope. The drug in question was not one that would show up on a standard tox screen. They’d have to test for that particular drug to find it. Besides, even if the drug did test positive as a methamphetamine, the tox screen wouldn’t be completed overnight. It usually takes weeks. Same thing for the blood alcohol content. They could test to see if alcohol was present, but wouldn’t know the BAC until the tox came back from the lab, weeks later.

I’m finished with, don’t care if I ever see her again, and done with this medical examiner character! Did I do something to you guys at ABC? If so, I apologize, but please call off the torture. Why don’t you try waterboarding the viewers next week while we watch the show. It might be less uncomfortable than having Parrish shove forensic bamboo under our nails.

Let’s move on to Beckett’s search of a murder suspect’s home.

– Beckett and team (By the way, the two partners are back to being joined at the hip. I guess the surgery wasn’t successful), accompanied by a key-holding building super, approached the door to the possible killer’s abode. Beckett and amigos stand to the side of the door (good for concealment and officer safety), but allow the building super to stand directly in the center of the doorway, in the line of possible gunfire, while using his passkey to open the door. They may as well have painted a bright red bull’s eye on that poor man’s chest. The officers should have used his key to open the door (did they have a search warrant?), while standing behind the door frame for cover. They should never allow a civilian to be in harm’s way. In real life, the landlord probably would have been looking for a new super. Hey, I think this one’s available.

During the entry of the suspect’s apartment Beckett has her service weapon out of the holster and was ready for whatever could have happened. So did one of her partners. This was good. However, the other sidekick immediately started nosing around the place with his weapon still nestled safely on his side. No way. He should have had his weapon out until the place had been cleared of all danger.

There were a few other minor points, like Castle searching the photographer’s house (under the bed) while Beckett spoke with the suspect. This would have been an illegal search.

And was it just me, or was it really obvious all along that the husband was the killer? Even my wife, who can’t stand the show, predicted this one while occasionally glancing up from reading a book.

I did not like this episode. It was boring, not funny, and that medical examiner has either got to go or shape up if this show is ever going to make it for me. Not that my household switching to another Monday night show would be a big deal to the network or anything, but I was once a big fan. I wonder how many others are beginning to switch channels at 10pm? The sad thing is that one character is ruining the entire show for me. I’m always dreading her next scene and nonsensical babbling.

This doctor would probably make more sense.

But, for what it’s worth, Castle and Beckett still look good!

You know, The Andy Griffith show is on TV Land at the same time. I’m so tempted…

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Castle: The Double Down – A Review

Let’s just skip the preliminary fluff and get down to business. After watching this episode I’m in no mood for making nice.

The title of this week’s episode is Double Down. Perhaps the network should have opted for calling it Double Trouble. We’ll get into the reasons why in a second. First, I have to say the comedic aspect of the show was in overdrive. I have to wonder, though, if they have a new writer because this episode was unlike any other. I’m not saying the show was better or worse than usual, just different. Maybe even a little odd. But it was what is was – a bit of a disappointment for me.

The Highs and Lows (Remember, this is a review of the police procedure and a little of the forensics, not the overall show. I’m a big fan of Castle and Beckett. Great chemistry. Even the supporting cast is pretty doggone good. Well, with the exception of one cast member who insists upon spouting off BS forensic material. Maybe she’s just reading her lines, I don’t know. But if I were her, I’d certainly want to at least be as good as everyone else on the show. I did read an interview where she stated the show has a medical examiner as a consultant – a real M.E. who offered to show her around a real morgue. She refused the offer, but who could blame her? I’ve attended many autopsies and not one has been a pleasant experience. Still, do they not listen to their experts? Anyway, here goes. Double Trouble…I mean Double Down.

– Castle mentions the craziness that comes with a full moon. Most cops, ER personnel, and other creatures who work the graveyard shift will nod their heads in agreement with that sentiment. Trouble follows a full moon, and weird calls normally come in during those times. Good stuff.

– The full moon scene was a little over the top, with cops wrestling crazies whose clothing seemed to come off quite easily during the commotion. At one point a new female detective, Roselyn Karpowski (she played a good part in this show), landed on Beckett’s desk, on top of a struggling suspect. While there she spoke to Beckett in a calm, easy tone. I know this was way over the top, but cops are so used to fighting, tussling, wrestling, handcuffing, Tasering, etc., that it is just a matter-of-fact occurrence to be in the middle of a big brawl. So good stuff, here. Take this one to the bank. Cops don’t get excited easily when faced with danger. After it’s over, maybe. But when it’s happening they’re right there, toe-to-toe with the best of them.

– The medical examiner working a homicide in a cocktail dress???? No way. Even if she didn’t have time to change she’d have put on a lab coat or other protective clothing. I should not have complimented her last week, because it all went downhill from this really low spot in her night. Geez… I actually felt bad for her. But, as they say on American Idol when the train wreck happens…She looked fantastic.

– Becket told the M.E. to check for fibers and hair. Hmm…I don’t know a single M.E. who’d have to be told that. Nor do I know one who’d take orders from a detective. However, I’m sure Beckett felt she needed to guide this one through the hoops.

– This isn’t procedure, but I had a nice chuckle when Castle said, “The person who killed her also killed the English language.” Those aren’t exactly his words, but you get the idea.

– There was a new coroner at one of the crime scenes. He was very believable, in this scene. But it didn’t last. More in a second.

– Loved the coroner’s “Looky-loo” comment. That’s a nickname used by cops for the people who find it entertaining to observe crime scenes, car accidents, and train wrecks. Again the coroner’s character is pretty good up to this point.

– The betting scenes in the show were very distracting for me. It was cute, but I think they went way overboard with it.

– Okay, here’s where I wanted to kick the TV screen, shout four letter words, and flush the remote down the toilet (after turning off the show).

The two pathologists, the M.E. and the coroner (I’m still not sure why they have one of each. Is it like that in NYC? Dr. Jonathan Hayes, are you out there?), made the announcement that they’d found a diatom on the victim’s bodies that was specific to a single body of water, but they didn’t know where that body of water was located. WHAT???

How in the world could they say the diatom was specific to place they couldn’t identify. If they couldn’t identify the place, then how could they say the diatom is specific to that place.

Hmm…If they knew the diatom could have come from only one place in the world then they must know where that place is. Otherwise, they’d found something but don’t know where they hell it came from.

Where’s Charlie Brown when you need him?

Wait, I think I know the name of the place. It’s called Conundrum.

Doggone it. You can’t discover something that’s only found in one place on earth if you haven’t discovered that place. It’s 2am right now and this crazy-making stuff is really frying my brain.

Oh, it gets worse.

– This started when the M.E. stated a forensic detail popped up during autopsy. That detail was locating the precious missing-link diatom (A cubic inch of diatomite contains millions of diatom fistulas. In other words, they’re pretty darn tiny. A really large one can be as big as a half-millimeter). To begin with, a medical examiner would have to be searching specifically for a diatom during autopsy to have found one, or even a hundred of them. This is not part of a normal autopsy. And so what if they did? What would that mean? That someone was near a river, the ocean, a pond, a mud puddle, damp places, or close to some soil? Yes, diatoms can be found in common soil!

Next, who would have identified this wacky organism in the morgue? Would the pathologist automatically know this as part of their medical training?

Oh, we’re really rolling downhill now…

The medical examiner informs Beckett that the victims had to have come in direct contact with this one of kind water in order for the diatom to have been on the body. Triple hogwash! Water evaporates. How did she know where the diatom came from? How did she know it wasn’t transferred from another person, or in the mist in the air?  Man, I’m really aiming the remote at the toilet now.

Castle suggests the water came from an aquarium in the victim’s office. Okay, he’s a layperson feeding off the garbage being tossed to him by the “pros.” Now the coroner adds his two cents to this bizarre scene. He says the diatoms were dispersed into the room by the aquarium pump and anyone in the room would be contaminated with the little fellers. What? Is it like a rain forest in that office? Shoot me now!

Back to the diatoms in a minute.

– Beckett and crew (By the way, the two detectives are much improved this season) pull into an alley to serve a search warrant. Good idea, but sliding patrols cars sideways into an alley with flashing red and blue lights isn’t a good way to sneak up on someone. The bad guys would probably toss the evidence before you could say “diatom.”

– During the car sliding/red and blue light fiasco a bunch of street kids are heard yelling Five-0. This is good. That’s what the real hoodlums say when cops roll into the hood.

– If the detective holding the shotgun in this scene had been forced to shoot during the raid, I don’t believe he’d have been able to hold on to his weapon. A shotgun has quite a bit of recoil, so it’s best to hold the butt of the gun against your shoulder when ready to fire. He was holding his shotgun like you see the SWAT guys carrying their automatic weapons. Different animals entirely.

– Back to the dreaded diatom. As it turns out, the thing came from the Hudson River. Yeah, that Hudson. The body of water that’s never been discovered according to the M.E. The Hudson that New Yorkers are exposed to every single day of their lives. This is the mysterious body of water that could only contain this special diatom. Nay, Nay. The Hudson River is connected to:

* Opalescent Brook
* Cedar River
* Indian River
* Boreas River
* Schroon River
* Sacandaga River
* Mill Creek
* Battenkill River
* Hoosic River
* Mohawk River
* Normans Kill
* Catskill Creek
* Esopus Creek
* Rondout Creek
* Roeliff-Jansen Kill
* Crum Elbow Creek
* Wappingers Creek
* Fishkill Creek
* Moodna Creek
* Quassaick Creek
* Croton River
* Pocantico River
* Sparkill Creek
* Wicker’s Creek
* Saw Mill River

Well, you get the idea.

And now to wrap this up…

– Beckett and crew question the two murder suspects, separately (good), and trick the weaker of the two into confessing by saying the alpha crook squealed like a pig. It works like that in real life, too.

At least everyone looked really nice this week. And Castle was pretty funny.

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