Castle: Inventing The Girl – A Review

Well, another Castle episode is in the history books. This week’s show titled Inventing The Girl was written by David Grae, an accomplished TV veteran with many popular shows to his credit, like Gilmore Girls, Without a Trace, and Moose Mating. Yep, you read that right, Moose Mating.

Grae has also penned the majority of the Castle episodes, which is why I’m a bit confused this week. His writing is normally sharp, quick, and humorous, for the most part. Tonight, I’m almost ashamed to admit it, but my wife had to wake me twice during the show. I fell asleep in mid note-taking. Trying to watch this particular episode could be compared to swallowing a fist full of Ambien with a wine chaser.

I’m beginning to wonder if I’m falling out of like (can’t say love because that was never there) with the series? Is it just me, or have the episodes become carbon copies of past episodes? Are they stamping out cookie-cutter scripts with new characters as killer and victim?

Anyway, I’m not here to judge the show, just the police procedure and a small portion of the forensics. This is a short one this week because there wasn’t much substance to the entire episode. So here goes…

– The body of a young fashion model was discovered among a grouping of decorative sidewalk fountains, the kind that spout streams of water and mist while various colored lights blink on and off.

Beckett instructs the team to search all garbage cans and dumpsters for the model’s missing purse. That’s a good move. Crooks often search the bag and then toss it after collecting the loot from inside.

I’m not quite sure how Beckett knew the woman had a purse, but I may have already been dozing by this time.

– Enter the medical examiner…Hoo boy, time to look for the barf bags.

– At the scene of the crime, Medical Examiner Lanie Parrish announces that the victim died of a fatal stab wound to the back. How could she know this was the cause of death before conducting an autopsy???? No way.

For all she knew the woman could have died from a peanut allergy and then fallen on a pitchfork, which was taken away by space aliens. Grrrr…….

Hey, the body is lying on a blue tarp. Where’d that come from, and what happened to evidence that might have been found beneath the body? Gone now for sure.

– Parrish then stated that a cut on the inside of the victim’s mouth indicated she’d been slapped really hard. There was no bruising on the outside of the face to corroborate that theory, so how’d she know this wound wasn’t a the result of a horrific tooth-brushing accident? I’m just saying.

– Here comes the icing on the cake that put the noose around my neck. It’s okay, that rope was consensual, because I was ready to end my suffering right about now. But the torture continued…

Parrish The Ridiculous drew a detailed mini replica of the Washington Monument. She even added tiny measurements to the scale drawing. Why, you ask, would a medical examiner do such a thing? Well, she claimed she could somehow see that Washington Monument-like shape embedded inside the victim’s body, like a YouTube video. Supposedly, the impression was left by the murder weapon. Can you hear me screaming out there!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was wishing someone would come along and slap my horse on the rear end so he’d run away leaving me hanging from the old willow tree, like Clint Eastwood in Hang ‘Em high. I needed relief!

– The human body is not a lump of modeling clay that would leave a perfectly impressed, true to life, scaled image of an edged or blunt weapon. Not even close. I mean this goofy woman even detailed the point of the object, stating it was one inch in length. She also stated the object was made of glass since she found traces of glass in the body. Maybe so, maybe no. Did she send the material to the lab for analysis? Nope. For all she knew, the stuff was granulated sugar.

– Parrish claimed the victim’s tox report indicated traces of a specific drug. Nope. The drug in question was not one that would show up on a standard tox screen. They’d have to test for that particular drug to find it. Besides, even if the drug did test positive as a methamphetamine, the tox screen wouldn’t be completed overnight. It usually takes weeks. Same thing for the blood alcohol content. They could test to see if alcohol was present, but wouldn’t know the BAC until the tox came back from the lab, weeks later.

I’m finished with, don’t care if I ever see her again, and done with this medical examiner character! Did I do something to you guys at ABC? If so, I apologize, but please call off the torture. Why don’t you try waterboarding the viewers next week while we watch the show. It might be less uncomfortable than having Parrish shove forensic bamboo under our nails.

Let’s move on to Beckett’s search of a murder suspect’s home.

– Beckett and team (By the way, the two partners are back to being joined at the hip. I guess the surgery wasn’t successful), accompanied by a key-holding building super, approached the door to the possible killer’s abode. Beckett and amigos stand to the side of the door (good for concealment and officer safety), but allow the building super to stand directly in the center of the doorway, in the line of possible gunfire, while using his passkey to open the door. They may as well have painted a bright red bull’s eye on that poor man’s chest. The officers should have used his key to open the door (did they have a search warrant?), while standing behind the door frame for cover. They should never allow a civilian to be in harm’s way. In real life, the landlord probably would have been looking for a new super. Hey, I think this one’s available.

During the entry of the suspect’s apartment Beckett has her service weapon out of the holster and was ready for whatever could have happened. So did one of her partners. This was good. However, the other sidekick immediately started nosing around the place with his weapon still nestled safely on his side. No way. He should have had his weapon out until the place had been cleared of all danger.

There were a few other minor points, like Castle searching the photographer’s house (under the bed) while Beckett spoke with the suspect. This would have been an illegal search.

And was it just me, or was it really obvious all along that the husband was the killer? Even my wife, who can’t stand the show, predicted this one while occasionally glancing up from reading a book.

I did not like this episode. It was boring, not funny, and that medical examiner has either got to go or shape up if this show is ever going to make it for me. Not that my household switching to another Monday night show would be a big deal to the network or anything, but I was once a big fan. I wonder how many others are beginning to switch channels at 10pm? The sad thing is that one character is ruining the entire show for me. I’m always dreading her next scene and nonsensical babbling.

This doctor would probably make more sense.

But, for what it’s worth, Castle and Beckett still look good!

You know, The Andy Griffith show is on TV Land at the same time. I’m so tempted…

Save