She thinks she’s funny and she’s quick to spout off a bit of corny humor. She has an unlimited supply of music at her fingertips (well, if she had fingers those tunes would be right there on the tips).

She knows almost everything, including the height of Mt. Rainier and the fact that starfish do not have brains. Now that’s hard to believe, isn’t it? That a living being that does things like eat and crawl and hide and … well, that they have no brain is an amazing piece of information. It’s equally amazing that Alexa (that’s her name) knows this stuff and can relay to us within a split second of hearing the request/question.

In addition to her unbelievable intellect and large music library, Alexa may have been the sole witness to an Arkansas murder and police want to hear what she has to say about it. But Alexa has lawyered up and isn’t talking.

Alexa, for those of you who aren’t blessed to share your homes with this tall, cylindrical beauty, is the name assigned to Amazon’s personal assistant device.

Need a reminder of the items you need to pick up from the grocery store? No problem, just tell Alexa and she’ll jot them down for you. Today’s weather forecast? Ask Alexa. Traffic on your morning commute? Alexa knows. Want to hear Tiny Tim sing Tiptoe Through the Tulips? Yep, Alexa will play it for you. A joke? A crazy fact? Play Jeopardy? How tall is Mt. Rainer? Yes, Alexa can and will do it all.

But can Alexa help Bentonville, Arkansas police with a murder investigation? Did she hear the victim’s final words? Did the killer say something that could help convict him? Did Alexa record anything at all that could help solve the case?

Actually, the name “Alexa” is the “wake word” for the Amazon Echo device. When it “hears” its name the blue light ring circling the top of the cylinder illuminates. That’s the sign that she’s ready to respond to a command.

“Alexa, add salted caramel ice cream to my shopping list.”

The fact that Alexa remains ready to respond at all times of the day, nonstop, also means that she’s listening to everything and anything that goes on. And her ears (per Amazon – seven microphones and beam forming technology so it can hear you from across the room—even while music is playing) do not miss much, if anything. And that’s why police are hoping “she” can help, and they’re anxious to question her. Amazon, however, is resisting the request from police, citing privacy concerns.

Alexa was present the night Victor Collins was found dead in a hot tub in the home of a Mr. James Andrew Bates. An autopsy proved that Collins had been strangled.

Bates claims he was asleep when the murder took place and, as a result, offered a plea of not guilty. He is out on bail. Now police are hoping that Alexis and the information she sent to the Cloud may offer clues. Court records show the Bentonville Police Department requested “electronic data in the form of audio recordings, transcribed records or other text records related to communications and transactions between An Amazon Echo  device” at Bates’ residence and Amazon.com’s services from Nov. 21 to 22.

Basically, the police are hoping Alexa may have overheard something—anything—that could help convict a killer.

I have my doubts that Alexa can help with this investigation because she doesn’t store information. Instead, the Echo (Alexa) transmits all information to the Cloud where it is transposed into text the device can understand. These requests (questions, etc.) are saved, and that’s what the police are banking on to help them. Not the actual Alexa device. Actually, I believe they’re hoping for a cumulative amount of small pieces of evidence that mound up into a large lump of incriminating circumstantial evidence—tid-bits from Alexa along with the physical evidence from the scene, and that a large amount of water was used around the time the murder occurred.

Police learned about the water usage after recovering information from the home’s smart water meter. The meter showed 140 gallons of water was used in the home from 1 to 3 a.m. that day, a much heavier amount than normally used at that time of day.

Remember, though, Alexa does not activate until she hears the “wake” word. Therefore, if the killer did not say, “Alexa,” then she would not have switched on to record anything. She does NOT record entire conversations, nor does she activate randomly. So it’s doubtful that police will find much help in Alexa’s testimony.

However, if the killer did say Alexa’s name …

Killer: “Alexa, I’m going to strangle this man now.”

Alexa: “Hmm … I’m not sure what you mean by that. Try using BING to find the answer to your question.”

Killer: “Alexa, tell me a joke.”

Alexa: “What’s the opposite of irony? … Wrinkly.”

Killer: “Alexa, okay, I’m going to kill this guy now. Goodnight.”

Alexa: “Goodnight. Sleep tight.”

…………….. a few minutes pass.

Killer: “Alexa, add bleach, rags, rope, and a shovel to my shopping list.”

Alexa: “I’ve added bleach, rags, rope, and a shovel to your shopping list.”

Killer: “Alexa, crazy fact.”

Alexa: “A starfish has no brain.”

Killer: “Goodnight, Alexa.”

Alexa: “Goodnight, Killer. Sleep tight.”

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Slang Terms Used by Cops and Robbers

The world of cops and robbers is an entity all its own. It’s a culture that lives and breathes in every neighborhood of every city. And, within each individual subgroup comes a separate set of traditions, rules, regulations, and even their own language(s). The same is true within the various groups of criminals. They, too, have their languages, mannerisms, etc.

To survive in these various social orders, members and visitors and newcomers must walk the walk and talk the talk that’s associated with each group. For example, to you the word cop might conjure up images of a burly police officer. However, to many criminals cop means to take plea agreement offered by the DA. “I’m not going to take a chance with a jury trial. I’m going to cop a plea.”

Let’s take a peek at a few more of the slang terms used by cops and robbers.

Sagging/Jailing (jailin’) – Wearing pants with the waistband so low that the underwear/boxer shorts are exposed. This style actually began in prisons and jails because inmates are often issued ill-fitting clothing. Their jail-issued pants are sometimes much too big which causes them to ride low on the hips.

Some say inmates who wear their pants “low” (saggers) are advertising that they’re available for sex.

Chicken head – someone who gives oral sex in exchange for drugs.

Hose Dragger – firefighter

Junior G-Man – a new officer/agent/special agent, etc. The new kid in the station/department/agency.

Alpha-Hotel – when you want to say A**Hole but don’t want anyone hearing you say A**Hole. “Man, that guy was a real Alpha-Hotel.”

Shorty – a nickname for girls/women. “Shorty sure looked fine last night.”

Honey Stop – stopping a car because the officer thinks the driver is good looking/wants to meet them. “I can’t believe she married that loser. Met him during a honey stop is what I heard.”

“Hey, Shorty, you’re sure lookin’ good tonight. And girl, those curls and that hat, well, they’re da’ bomb!”

Bullet – a one year prison sentence.

Ink – tattoo(s)

Pruno – alcohol made in jail or prison by inmates. Also known as hooch.

Five-O – the police. AKA: Po-Po, Barney, Bacon, Bear, the Law, Pig.

Lot Lizard – prostitute who works the parking lots at truck stops.

Detentionitis – mysterious and sudden ailments that strike people the moment they realize they’re to be arrested. “Oh, Lawdy, I can’t go to jail. I’m having a heart-a-stroke-appendicitigangrenified-triple-powered-seizure.”

Catch a Ride – share someone’s drugs. “Hey, Dude. Can I catch a ride?”

Maggot – criminal (AKA – dirtbag, scum, mope, a**hole). “Store owner says a couple of maggots walked in the front door. He knew something was up because the first guy in was sweating a lot and constantly looking outside. Next thing he knows is they each pull out a pistol and start screaming for him to hand over the money.”

Maggot Mobile – car belonging to a maggot. See above definition of maggot. “That sounds like Little Pauly’s car. Drive by his place and see if that piece-of-crap maggot mobile is in the driveway. If so, bring him in.”

Lampin’ – hanging out under a street light. Those who do consider that spot as their turf.

Duck Detective – Fish and Game/Wildlife officer. “Be sure you have your hunting license with you. Joe-Billy, Jr. said the duck detectives are out in full force today.”

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Living Conditions in Jail

Close your eyes and imagine you’re in the filthiest public restroom you’ve ever visited. Take a deep breath while conjuring up a stench that lingers in places only roaches and vermin dare to trod. Combine those odors with the scents of dirty sweat socks, sweat-soaked t-shirts, and unwashed underwear, warm popcorn, week-old urine, and steaming chicken-flavored Top Ramen noodles. And it gets worse…

Picture living or working where every breath is similar to what I’ve described above. Never a single lungful of fresh air. Could you drink water from a sink that was used to wash the feet of a man who just finished working on a roadside work gang for eight hours in ninety-degree heat—a sink positioned two feet above a toilet that’s used several times a day by three people, but is only capable of being flushed twice in eight hours?

How about sleeping in a six-by-nine room with two other large men who haven’t bathed in several days during the hottest time of the year. There’s no ventilation. No windows to open. How about sleeping on the floor with nothing between you and the grimy concrete surface but an itchy, unwashed wool blanket? Roaches, rats, and mice dart from gaps between rusted plumbing and cracked cinderblocks. Dried blood and vomit are the only splashes of color on drab walls. HGTV it ain’t.

What I’ve just described is jailing. Serving time. Marking the calendar. Doing time.

Of course, living conditions are better in some jail facilities than others, but many are just like I’ve described in the paragraphs above. Some are worse. Much worse.

The photos below were taken in one of the cleanest jails I’ve ever seen. It’s also a very well-run operation. The staff is well-trained, and for the most part, the prisoners seemed to be in good spirits considering their circumstances.

Jail control room

A brief tour of a county jail

Deputy sheriffs monitor and control inmate activities and movement from inside a master control room. All doors are operated electronically by the deputy seated at the control desk.

Female dormitory

Some prison and jail dormitories house over one-hundred prisoners in a single room. Many times, a single officer is assigned to supervise the activities of one or more dorm rooms. When the officer/deputy steps inside the dormitory, they’re locked inside with the inmates. The odds are sometimes 100 inmates to 1 officer.

Female Dormitory

Jail Library

Books are often donated by local community groups, families of inmates, and even the prisoners themselves.

Jail library. It’s quite possible that one or more of your books are on the shelves.

Cell block

In the photograph below, a deputy sheriff makes his rounds inside a cell block. He’s actually inside a day room that’s normally occupied by several inmates. The area outside the windows to the left is a common area hallway beyond the locked cell/day room area. The doors to the deputy’s right are inmate cell doors. Each morning those doors are opened allowing all inmates into the day room where they play cards, watch TV, eat their meals, and socialize. They must remain in the day room all day, and return to their cells at night.

Prisoners are not permitted to lie in bed unless they are sick, which must be confirmed by a jail nurse or doctor.

A deputy sheriff makes his rounds, peering inside each cell as he passes by.

Looking out

An inmate’s view through the window in his cell door out into the hallway (below). Many dreams and fantasies of life on the outside begin at this very spot. The door across the hall is that of another inmate’s cell. The checkered grate at the top of the picture is the only source of ventilation in the cell. It’s also a means for the jail staff to communicate with the prisoner. Jail doors are heavily insulated to retard fires and noise.

Looking out from inside a jail cell

 Overcrowding is a huge problem in jails and prisons. This jail was forced to hang metal beds from the hallway walls when their cells reached capacity—three men in each two-man cell.

Just as I clicked off this shot, a group of deputies ran past to quell a disturbance in an area I’d just left. The problem—an inmate was having an anxiety attack, possibly caused by being confined to such tight quarters. He’d become quite violent and was tossing things around, including other inmates and an officer. His troubles reminded me of how much I appreciate the little things—trees, flowers, family, home-cooked meals, wine, and flushing my own darn toilet whenever I want and as many times as I want.

Steel bunk attached to hallway wall.

Visiting Room

In some jails, prisoners are brought to these small rooms where they “visit” with family members seated on the opposite side of the window. The family’s room is a mirror image of the inmate’s visiting room.

Visitors speak to inmates via telephone.

* Remember, prison and jail are not the same. Normally, jails house offenders who’ve been convicted of misdemeanor crimes punishable by sentences of up to 12 months. Prisons are for people who’ve been convicted of felonies (sentences of one year or more). Of course, there are exceptions, but these are the rules of thumb.

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