Serving a search warrant

Contrary to the belief of some, and to the image that’s sometimes portrayed on television, police officers cannot enter a private residence without a warrant or permission to do so. Of course there are exceptions to every rule, but the exceptions to this one are few and far between, and must be utilized only in dire emergencies.

A search warrant is valid only if it is issued pursuant to an affidavit stating each and every fact that establishes the probable to search for certain people and items. For example, the officer who is asking for a search warrant must apply for it by filling out a form, a sort of application, called an affidavit. This application (affidavit) must clearly explain every single reason why she wants to go to inside someone’s house without the owner’s permission, by breaking down the front door, if necessary.

Normally, the officer must swear to (under oath) the facts in her affidavit.

– The description of the place to be searched must be in vivid detail, almost down to the size and color of the doorknob. (I’m exaggerating—not much—, but you get the idea).

If a judge or magistrate approves the warrant, he/she signs it and hands it over to investigators for service.

– Search warrants must be served promptly. Normally, there is a three or four day rule. If officers wait longer than that time frame the search may be ruled invalid.

– In most cases, officers are required to knock and announce their presence. (Knock, knock. “This is the police. I have a warrant to search this house. If you don’t open the door I’m going to huff, and puff, and—“ Well, you get the idea).

The exceptions to the knock and announce rule (“no-knock” warrants) are if the officer has good reason to believe that:

1) There is a clear and present danger to himself and anyone else present, including people inside the house.

2)  The delay of entry would cause irreparable harm to the investigation (evidence would be destroyed).

The easiest way to serve a search warrant is to knock on the door and wait for someone to answer. This is definitely the safest way to serve a search warrant. Unfortunately, the bad guys don’t always play by the rules.

Also, warrants are to be served in the daytime unless specified differently in the body of the warrant, such as in the actual warrant pictured above).

If no one answers the door within a reasonable amount of time (Normally a few seconds – 15 seconds or so) police officers are legally permitted to damage property, if that’s what is required, to gain entry.

Once inside, officers may only search for the item(s) listed on the warrant, and they may only search in areas where those items could be found. For example, if investigators are searching for a stolen refrigerator, they may not open and paw through underwear and sock drawers. However, if the item they’re seeking is small (a piece of jewelry or drugs), then they may search from chimney top to basement floor and everywhere and everything between. That’s when you sift through the unmentionables.

When the search has been completed, officers must complete a detailed inventory of all items seized. A copy of the inventory is left with someone at the location, or at the home/business.

Copies of all paperwork are filed with the court.

Believe me, sometimes you want to double-glove your hands before touching some of the things residents have tucked away in drawers, between mattresses, under the bed, and beneath pillows. Even then, a gallon of disinfectant never seems to be enough to clean your hands after a particularly distressing search.

Unfortunately, you can never remove the images from your mind. Honestly, seeing adult-size baby clothes, whips, chains, Catwoman suits for men, blow-up dolls dressed as Madonna and Elton John, half-empty tubs of Vaseline, an assortment of elongated and heavily-bruised fruits and vegetables, and brightly-colored wiggly things that buzz, jiggle, jab, and rotate at the accidental touch of a switch…well, let’s just say that I’m heading straight to my shrink after writing this piece…

*Fun fact – When serving search warrants, it’s best to try the door before wasting precious time and energy. I once saw an officer, a guy who claimed to be a top martial artist, kick, and kick, and kick a heavy steel door, trying to gain access to a drug dealer’s home. In fact, the door-kicking cop wailed away at the barrier so many times that his face turned beet red, he was sucking wind like a marathon runner, and he stated that his legs were so tired they felt like worn-out rubber bands. He finally sat down in the grass waiting for his legs to rejoin his body as useful members. That’s when someone decided to try the door…it was unlocked.

WPA registration is open

Writers’ Police Academy 2013

Registration opened last night and we’re already near capacity!

This is the largest, best, and most exciting event we’ve ever produced. Please do not procrastinate. This is not an event to be missed.

Here’s a small portion of what we have in store for you:

Lisa Gardner

New York Times bestselling author Lisa Gardner is the 2013 keynote speaker.

New Picture (1)

Special guest speaker: NY Times bestselling author, TV producer of the hit show “Bones,” and forensic anthropologist Kathy Reichs.

New Picture

Special Guest Speaker: World-renowned DNA expert Dr. Dan Krane.

And…

See you in soon!

September 5-8, 2013

Guilford Technical Community College (GTCC)

Public Safety Building

Jamestown, N.C.

www.writerspoliceacademy.com

*Photos by Patti Phillips, Julie Goyette, and me.

Southland: Off Duty

There’s a common saying among LAPD officers…leave the job in the locker with your uniform. It’s easier said than done.

A cop leaving the job at work? Ignore the druggies, pimps, and punks walking the streets beside you and your family? Not a chance. And Sammy was a perfect example last night when he left his post as a personal bodyguard to head into a volley of gunfire, an act that garnered him the unwanted attention of LA’s always out of control paparazzi.

Once a cop always a cop is a saying that rings true to nearly everyone who’s worn a badge. There’s a pull toward the duty that’s nearly as strong as the gravity that holds our feet snugly to the ground. Rarely does a day go by when I don’t examine vehicle license plates for signs of tampering or expired stickers, or damaged steering columns, a clear indication that the car is stolen. I see officers on the side of the highway conducting traffic stops and I feel the urge to pull over in case they need back up.

This incessant need to “police” used to drive my wife absolutely bonkers. Once, while watching TV in the comfort of our home, I heard a bit of commotion outside. I let it go at first, thinking perhaps a group of teens having a good time were passing by. But when I saw the familiar staccato blinking of blue flashing through our curtains, well, I had to see what was going on. A traffic stop, maybe?

I stepped out onto the front porch and saw three patrol cars idling in the street. Blue lights flashing and spotlights trained on a man standing on the front porch of our across-the-street neighbors, a very sweet elderly couple. He was shirtless and held a large revolver in his right hand. He was yelling obscenities and occasionally pointed the gun at the residents who were seated side-by-side in a porch swing. I recognized the man as someone I’d arrested a few times in the past for disorderly behavior. He was a military veteran who lived with one too many ghosts inside his head and seemed to find drugs and alcohol as the best means of keeping those demons in check. Normally, when he was high, he walked the streets scaring little old ladies and small children. This time, though, he’d wandered onto the property of two people who thought going to the doctor was an exciting outing. They were beyond frightened.

The patrol officers on the scene were all young and fairly inexperienced, but were using every single tactic they’d learned in the police academy to get the crazy guy to put down his weapon and surrender to them. Nothing was working, though.

I went back inside to grab my pistol, which I shoved inside the waistband of my shorts (remember, I was at home watching TV), and headed across the street, where I promptly walked past the officers and up onto the porch where I calmly asked the man for the gun he was waving around. He recognized me and immediately handed the weapon to me, and then started blubbering like a baby. I walked him back to the police officers who handcuffed him and carted him off to jail. Me, I was back in my easy chair in time to see the end of my show.

Yes, it’s in our blood. We bleed blue.

Now, on to the story. This episode, directed by Regina King (Lydia), was one of the best episodes of Southland to date. In fact, it just may be the best. The cast was superb, and, in fact, they delivered a flawless performance last night. Speaking of flawless performances, an Emmy nod to Michael Cudlitz for his work over the past couple of years would certainly be appropriate and well-deserved.

Cooper (Michael Cudlitz) and his former TO, played by Gerald McRaney of Simon and Simon and Major Dad fame, sit in a bar having a cold one. Cooper sees his former mentor as a lonely ex-cop who’s grown older, yet still misses the job he can longer work. Coop sees visions of becoming that empty shell of a cop, and it’s hitting him like a ton of bricks. He knows he’s a few steps from pulling the pin (retirement) and the thought is leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

– Ben and Brooke are out for a night on the town and she’s a bit anxious that Ben has a gun concealed under his jacket. Well, a gun is like an extra appendage to a cop. You feel naked without it. But, what’s no big deal to a police officer can sometimes be off-putting to a civilian.

Speaking of plainclothes, Ben runs into one of his former buddies, a drug dealer, and introduces Brooke as his girlfriend, a moniker she seemed to enjoy. Ben realizes that his former pot dealer is making far too much money to be in a legitimate business, so he whispers that news to the narcs who later move in for a big bust that’s worthy of a celebration. The bust was so big that it sparks a notion in Ben’s head that he should take the detective’s test, a notion that Sammy, a former detective himself, thinks is a bit absurd.

– We learn that Lydia has been corresponding (while off duty) with a guy who’s serving time on death row, and, she’s promised him that she’d show up for a visit on the day of his execution. But, always the good investigator, Lydia’s motive was to hopefully get the condemned man to confess to additional murders and learn the location of the bodies. Turns out that her off-duty letter writing paid off. A brilliant piece of acting by Regina King, by the way.

– Dewey engages in a foot pursuit that lands him with one foot in the grave. The exertion stops his heart and Cooper immediately starts CPR, an act that saved Dewey’s life…as he’s apparently done several times before. Each stone that’s unturned in this episode is another notch in Cooper’s belt, a step closer to retirement. Everything he does is a reminder that he’s one of the “old guys” who’s been there/done that time and time again.

Dewey’s scenes sometimes give us a much-needed break from the building tension this show always delivers. His obnoxious behavior and rude and lewd comments take us out of the moment just long enough to catch our breath before heading to the next cliff.

– Sammy’s ex, Tammi, is pursuing her abuse complaint against him, which has now been handed over to Internal Affairs. Things aren’t looking too sporty for Sammy, who’s coming unglued, piece by piece. Ben has made it clear that he “has Sammy’s back,” meaning that he’ll lie for  him if that’s what it takes to get him off the hook.

But Ben has his own troubles. He can’t seem to veer off the path of self-destruction. In many ways, he and Cooper are a lot alike. after all, Cooper trained him, right?

Ben is an arrogant narcissist who’s determined to take himself down. He’s so into himself that he brushes off Sammy’s need for a true friend. And, he’s so not in control of his own zipper that he practically chases after any female who shows him the slightest bit of attention, like the woman he met during the arrest of her brother. It is so uncool to become romantically involved with people connected to criminal cases you’re involved in. Not cool at all. Sooner or later it will bite Ben on the rear. It always does (in real life).

– Cooper injures his back again, slightly. But it’s the fear of injuring it permanently that hurt the most. He doesn’t want to leave police work, and a permanent back injury would most certainly seal the deal.

The cast dealt with several demons last night. Demons that live in the far corners of their minds, constantly scratching and clawing at the inside of their skulls, wanting out. And, it’s all the Southland crew can do to keep those monsters inside. I guess the big question is, who will be the first to let one loose, and what hell will they pay for doing so…

*Favorite line from the show – “I’m all over this b***h like a fat kid on a cupcake.” ~ Dewey

 

 

A night in Savannah

Officers C.M. Steel and I.C. Crooks parked their patrol cars in their side-by-side driveways. Both got out and stretched, obviously exhausted after working the graveyard shift. They’d been friends, co-workers, and neighbors for years. The rest of the community had been pleased to learn that the two officers bought homes in their subdivision, and as a bonus for the residents of Pelican Cove, the cops each had take home cars that would serve nicely as deterrents to potential burglars.

“What a night, huh?” said Officer Steel.

Crooks was busy unloading his gear bag and jacket from the passenger seat. “One of the craziest I’ve seen in a while,” he said.

“The shirtless guy on the riverboat topped it all off,” said Steel. “My money’s on Bath Salts. What do you think?”

“Only thing I can think of that’d make a grown man shed his clothes, climb to the top of a boat, and then break off twenty-thousand-dollars worth of antenna’s, fancy woodwork, trim, and glass and stuff,” said Crooks. “Well, that and maybe PCP.”

“His reason for doing it was what really got me,” Steel said.

“I know. Just when you think you’ve heard it all, then this Bozo said he did all that damage to the boat because of the way it was looking at him. Imagine that. I can’t wait to see the judge’s face when the clown spouts off that as an excuse.”

The two men started walking toward their respective homes. Steel stopped. “Wonder who broke into the cemetery and stole the body?”

“Got to be one of those voodoo freaks, don’t you think?” Crooks said.

“Yeah, probably,” Steel said. “Or someone planning to sell the remains to one of those Satanic cults, or something like that.”

“Gives me the creeps just thinking about reaching into that mausoleum,” Crooks said while simulating a shiver by shaking his head and shoulders. “Let alone pulling out a decomposing dead body and taking it home with you.”

“Well, it takes all kinds to make this world go ’round. Without these freaks, you know, we’d be out of job.”

“I suppose you’re right,” Crooks said. He stopped walking and set his bag down on the concrete. “Let me ask you something. Has your wife been getting a little squirrely lately?”

“Squirrely?”

“You know, hinting around that maybe you ought to consider finding another job. One that’s not so…you know…”

Steel raised an eyebrow. “Dangerous?”

“Yeah, dangerous. Linda Mae got pretty upset when she heard about the shootout the other night, when the female officer was shot by that prick who stole the police car and led us all on that pursuit. She lit into me with both barrels when I got home. Yammerin’ on about me going to work for her father on his shrimp boat, ’cause it’s safer out there than it is running around the city chasing after gangbangers and crackheads.”

“Yeah, I hear it from Wanda Sue about once every six months or so, but she knows police work is in my blood. Hell, I get a cut and I ooze blue.” Steel patted his friend on the shoulder. “She’ll simmer down. Just give her time.”

“She reads too many news stories, Linda Mae, does. Every night it’s, home invasions out the ying yang, armed robberies, kids shooting kids, hostages, drive-by shootings, officers getting hurt, bank robberies, armored car robberies, stabbings, and that young firefighter—a kid—that got shot and killed. The shooting on River Street last night. Oh, and that girl at the apartments…shot in the back, murdered in her own driveway, a college girl. And we still don’t have any clues about that one…”

“Hey, no one said this was an easy job,” Steel said to his shift partner. “We just do the best we can with what we’ve got. We try to stay safe, dodge a few bullets, shake off a knife wound or two, and go home acting like it was just another day at the office. The least they know the better off they are.”

“I suppose you’re right, C.M. Well, I’m gonna grab a short nap before court. I got that case where the guy was kidnapped and taken to the bank to draw out money while the suspect’s partner held the victim’s kid hostage.”

A beat passed and Crooks said, “You know, I wonder if the tourists would still come if they knew all this crap went on in Savannah?”

Steel chuckled, then said, “That’s why they don’t mention the bad stuff in the brochures, my friend. As far as outsiders know, we’re all about ghost stories, the Civil War, Spanish Moss, and a bucket load of ‘y’alls, I reckon’s, alligators, and southern belles.”

“Oh, and Paula Deen. We can’t forget about our very own Paula Deen the butter queen.”

*Of course, Officer Steel and Crooks are fictional. Unfortunately, the crimes they worked—the murders, hostage situations, etc., are all very real and occurred recently, some as recently as this week. And, of course, Paula Deen is also a very real part of Savannah.

So y’all come to see us, ya’ hear.

TV: fun and fictional

 

 

Each night people from all over the world settle in to watch their favorite television sleuths solve the latest murder. You can’t turn the channel without seeing some sort of well-dressed investigator using fancy tools and equipment that would make the creators of Star Wars and and Star Trek drool with envy.

Shows such as CSI, Law and Order, and Castle are works of fiction. They’re written for our entertainment, not as research guides. Sure, some of the tools and procedures used on the shows are correct, but they’re often utilized in less-than-real situations.

Many real-life cops, prosecutors, medical examiners, and doctors cringe when they see how their profession is portrayed on the small screen. I know I have a hard time watching most of them. If I want to see real police work in action I watch reruns of the The Andy Griffith Show. For realism and an inside look at the daily lives of police officers, TNT’s Southland is top of the line. It’s probably the most realistic cop show that’s ever been on TV. Still, even Cooper and Sammy sometimes stretch the boundaries of realism.

The Andy Griffith Show did a great job of showing the compassionate side of law enforcement officers. They let their audience know that cops are real people, with real emotions, and real everyday problems.

Southland depicts police work in true form. This is how it’s really done, folks. No fancy tools or equipment, just cops doing what they do best – hitting the streets, searching for evidence, knocking on doors, and talking to people.

Fact v. Fiction

Here are a few examples of what not to believe on television shows about cops and crime scene investigation:

TV – Cops advise suspects of their rights the second they slip a pair of handcuffs on the crook’s wrists.

Fact – Miranda warnings are only read to suspects who are in custody, prior to questioning. Not the moment they click the cuffs in place. Sometimes it’s not necessary to advise the suspect of his rights. No questions = No Miranda.

Oops! Wrong Miranda.

TV – Cops fire warning shots. Or, they shoot bad guys in the leg or arm to stop them

Fact – False. Officers do not fire warning shots. What goes up must come down. And, officers never aim for legs and/or arms. Instead, they aim for center mass, shooting to stop the immediate threat.

cat-firing-warning-shotpng2.jpg

No warning shots!

TV – Doctors leave the hospital to search a patient’s house looking for clues.

Fact – You can barely get a doctor to check on patients in their hospital rooms. They’re certainly not going to someone’s house. (My apologies to Doug Lyle). Searching homes and other property is a duty of police officers, not doctors.

TV – DNA test results come back in three hours.

Fact – DNA testing normally takes a minimum of two or three days. More than likely it will be several weeks before detectives receive the test results.

TV – Detectives draw chalk outlines around dead bodies.

Fact – No. Drawing a chalk outline could destroy or alter crucial evidence.

No chalk outlines

TV – Cops leave the scene of a crime with lights and sirens going at full blast.

Fact – No. Officers only use lights and siren on the way to emergencies. Leaving a crime scene with the suspect safely cuffed and stuffed in the back seat is not an emergency.

fair.jpg

TV – CSI technicians chase criminals and investigate crimes.

Fact – Although they’re they’re highly-trained experts in their field, many CSI technicians are not sworn police officers. They have no authority to investigate crimes and arrest criminal suspects. So, no, they do not run after crooks while wearing high heels or two-thousand-dollar suits

Many CSI technicians are not certified, sworn police officers.

*Please don’t use television as a source for research about police officers. Always contact your local law enforcement officer or other trusted expert in the field for correct information that best suits the needs of your story.

Talk to an actual police officer, not someone whose third cousin was once married to a police officer’s sister’s husband who knows a guy’s barber who once lived two blocks over from a guy who went to school with a girl who works as a cleaning lady at the police department. That sort of information is not what I’d consider credible.

Unless someone has actually worn the uniform, carried a gun, worked a crime scene, and actually arrested a criminal, they’re just telling you something they’ve heard, read, or something they think they may know. After all, when you need information about plumbing, you don’t call an airplane pilot, right?

*     *     *

Attention!

Registration for the 2013 WPA opens this Friday, 3-15-13. The event sold out last year and we expect it to do so even faster this year. So please register early. This is not one you’ll want to miss.

We have a new registration system in place this year, so please read each section carefully before making your selections.

Additions, changes, and schedule updates are added to the website each day, so please check in often.

This the largest, best, and most exciting WPA we’ve ever produced!

See you in September!

www.writerspoliceacademy.com

15 websites

Rhyming words are fun, but some words will leave you tongue-tied trying to find a suitable partner. Anyone who has ever dabbled in poetry will tell you that meter is a refined art that requires the poet to have a comprehensive understanding of how the rhythmic structure of words, sentences and verses ebb and flow. A rookie mistake when dealing with rhyming words is assuming that every word has to be an exact match. A close match is often sufficient to convince the ear that it rhymes without breaking the rhythm of the verse of rhyme. These 15 websites are designed specifically to help you find rhyming words, synonyms and other forms of creative word play.

  1. Rhyme Zone – It’s very frustrating to discover that a word does not have an exact rhyme. However, with Rhyme Zone, you may just find the next best thing. The website’s search engine will look for an exact match, but if it doesn’t find one it will return a list of similar sounding words. You can define your search in a number of ways, including near rhymes, similar sounding words or related words. For more relevant listings, you can also organize the search results by both number of syllables and letters.
  2. Rhymer – As well as providing a powerful rhyming search engine, Rhymer is full of great tips and instructions on constructing rhymes. The website returns results based on rhyming syllables. This is particularly useful if you are a poet, as it allows you to construct verses that flow naturally without stretching to make the words match the meter.
  3. Rhyme Brain – This is a multi-lingual rhyming site that includes French, German, English and Spanish, among other languages. The interface couldn’t be simpler to use; you type the word you wish to rhyme into the search bar and the results are posted in tables on the same page. Rhyme Brain also has an extensive blog on rhyming words and alliteration that you can spend hours browsing through.
  4. Enchanted Learning – Finding rhymes the easy way is one thing; learning to use them on your own is quite another. Enchanted Learning provides endless hours of fun with rhyming games and activities. There is a $20 per year subscription charge, which gives you full access to all the downloadable content from the site. However, there is also a large amount of content that is free of charge and doesn’t require a subscription.
  5. Reggie Loves to Rhyme – This site from Scholastic is a fully interactive site for children, with games and activities that use colors, pictures and sounds to help build rhyming knowledge and skills. Scholastic is an international company that delivers educational material to children in over 150 countries.
  6. WikiRhymer – In keeping with other Wiki-sites, this rhyming search engine is community based. The interface has a number of search parameters to choose from, and there is also a discussion forum where you can ask questions if you’re having trouble with a particular word. This provides a very beneficial platform for poets and song-writers to share ideas.
  7. PBS Kids Rhyming Games – PBS have brought together all their much-loved characters to create a fully interactive site full of rhyming games. Sesame Street, Bingo and others are on hand to make rhyming fun for kids and adults alike.
  8. Word Central – Merriam-Webster are the developers of Word Central, so you shouldn’t be at all surprised to find that the site has a huge database of rhyming words. What’s more, at Word Central you can create your own dictionary along with word definitions. So if you can’t find a word that rhymes the way you’d like, you can just invent one instead!
  9. Find Rhymes – This site adds a new element to rhyme searching by adding phonemes into the mix. Phonemes are the distinct sounds in a specified language that distinguish one word from another.
  10. Rhymes & Chimes – As well as providing rhyming words, Rhymes and Chimes has search parameters for translations, phrases, quotes and related products. Results are also broken down by number of syllables in ascending order from one up to five.
  11. Reading Rockets – This educational site will take you all the way from the basics to the comprehensive elements of rhyming and word play. There’s also a selection of printable material available on Reading Rockets, as well as games and activities you can use on the site.
  12. Your Dictionary – Create your own worksheets and browse through lists of rhyming activities in Your Dictionary’s huge archives. The site is extremely well organized, making it easy to navigate and find what you need with minimal hassle.
  13. Rhyme Bot – This clever bot returns a wealth of information from a single search. By default, Rhyme Bot is tailored towards kids; however, you can also switch to advanced search for more complicated results.
  14. Kids Front – The questions and answers structure of Kids Front is a progressive way of learning rhyming structures.  Although the site is obviously aimed at teaching kids, the exercises are suitable for adults, too.
  15. What rhymes with? – There is nothing complicated or flashy about this site; you simply type a word into the search engine and it finds you rhyming words. However, the results are returned in an easy to read format and each word links to its own related words.

*Today’s article courtesy of www.kenneymyers.com

One-eye'd Joe

 

Fall in the south is a welcome time of the year. It’s when searing temperatures and unbearable humidity finally give way to crisp breezes and crimson streaked sunsets. Air conditioners are switched off and windows raised. It’s a time for high school football, sweatshirts, and the harvesting of crops, such as cotton, soybeans, and tobacco. Peanut farmers also begin their harvests by digging into the soil, exposing their subterranean crops, the fruits of their summer labor. The scent of freshly turned dirt combines with the familiar fragrance of the sun-drying legumes. Together, their  earthy odor fill the air. For many, this is the first formal announcement that another summer has indeed passed.

On this particular autumn night, the night that One Eye’d Joe went on a binge of smoking crack and drinking more than his fill of Mad Dog 20-20, a heavy harvest moon hung low in the night sky, casting long shadows across fields, backyards, and empty parking lots. There was a nip in the still air, and blades of grass were stiff and brittle, coated with the first frost of the season.

Deep in the folds of the city, One-Eye’d Joe was desperate. He and a friend had spent the last their combined dollars on a few crack rocks, smoked them, and were now looking to sustain the high, any way they could. And, with each man suffering from a thousand-dollar-a day habit, there were no limits on what they’d do. None.

One-Eye’s nickname came about after he’d gotten into a rather nasty fight with his brother. The older sibling, Willie, was on the losing end of the battle, so he grabbed the nearest weapon at hand to even the odds—a small stick—and attempted to gouge his brother’s face. The stick penetrated Joe’s right eye, leaving him permanently blind on that side. The injured eye eventually turned dull and milky white, a very distinguishing feature in each of Joe’s many mug shots.

A few years later, during a three-day drinking spell, One-Eyed Joe returned the favor by jabbing brother Willie in the eye with a broken bottle. Willie now has the matching milky left eye to Joe’s right. To add insult to injury, and more irony than this story can stand, the brothers had a small dog that had only one good eye. I don’t know how that happened, and I dare not try to imagine.

One-Eye’s crack-smoking best friend was a male prostitute who resided in a rat-and-roach-infested, pay-by-the-week hotel, where he performed oral sex for other men. His fee was twenty-dollars for each sex act—enough for one rock. He and One-Eye had been close friends since junior high, and had been in and out of jail and prison throughout their entire lives.

One-Eyed Joe had been locked up at least once for nearly every crime imaginable, short of murder, but his specialty was B&E—Breaking and Entering. He liked to slip into homes while the owners were away on vacation or out for the evening. He was not normally violent, and he didn’t like confrontation. As a rule, Joe was very passive, but had been known to throw a punch or two, if cornered. Together, these two thugs didn’t weigh 220 pounds, and it would surprise me if they had a full set of teeth between them. Crack smokers are not known for their good hygiene habits, and the teeth are often the first thing to go. As a team, the two thugs reminded me more of Abbott and Costello than the hardened criminals they aspired to be.

On this night, though, the two had spent every dime they had on crack, and, as usual, they craved and needed more—a lot more—and Joe was struck with an idea as to how they’d get it. He thought about a job he once worked as a truck-stop fuel attendant. Yes, the two bumbling crooks decided to rob Joe’s old place of employment. Their plan in its entirety was to wait until the fuel-desk clerk was alone, and then rob her at knife-point.

The truck stop sits just outside the south edge of the city limits, just off the main highway. It had been in business for many years under the same ownership. The proprietors of this hole-in-the-wall truckers’ haven still believed customers should never have to pump their own fuel, and that an attendant should smile and wash the customer’s windows while they waited. That particular job had been Joe’s during his three-week tenure.

The company’s old-fashioned ways were charming, but added to their vulnerability when it came to hold ups, because they simply didn’t believe in computers or high-tech security. In fact, their only telephone, a wall-mount unit, was the old-fashioned, finger-holed dial type that takes just a little too long to ring up 911.

The truck-stop’s greasy spoon restaurant served breakfast twenty-four hours a day, and advertised a different lunch and dinner special for each day of the week. This particular Thursday night was liver-and-onions night, and the aroma of fried onions and greasy, brown gravy hung in the air immediately surrounding the restaurant. At approximately 10:30 p.m., business was so slow, the night manager sent the only waitresses home early, thinking she and the cook would be able to handle things for the rest of the shift.

The desk where the truck drivers paid for their fuel was in a separate building from the restaurant. That part of the business was enjoying a better-than-average night, and the lone clerk, a older woman with big hair and gnarled and twisted arthritic fingers, was managing the workload just fine. She was well-liked by the drivers, and they normally spent a few minutes shooting the breeze with her before getting back behind the wheel.

One-by-one, both long- and short-haul truckers swung their big rigs off the highway and into the lot for refueling. While they waited for their tanks to fill, they topped off their thermoses with fresh, hot coffee and stopped in at the desk to hear the latest gossip.

At 10:45 p.m., One-Eye’s partner-in-crime drove his beat-up, faded blue Chevy Malibu past the teal Kenworth at the pumps and into the far corner of the truck-stop parking lot, just out of reach of the amber light spewing from the rows of tall sodium-vapor lights. The car reached the end of the lot and its driver turned it around to face the truck stop. He shut off the motor.

The Kenworth pulled out, and a candy-apple red Peterbilt—the last truck in the lot—sat idling at the pumps while the driver said his goodbyes to the clerk. The two criminals, still high from hours of crack smoking, watched as the driver climbed into his rig and, with a whoosh from the air brakes and a grinding of low gears, he eased the Peterbilt out onto the roadway.

From where One-Eye and his partner sat, they could see the clerk through a window, soundlessly going about her routine, tallying fuel totals and taxes. Not once did she lift her head to look into the parking lot. Had she done so, she’d have seen the two men watching her every move.

The 911 call came into the police station at 11:00 p.m. on the dot. The frantic clerk said she’d been robbed by two men, one of whom wielded a six-inch steak knife. She said she didn’t recognize either of them, but one of the two had a bad eye. She said it looked as if he was blind in the bad one, because it was white and milky-looking. When they called me out to investigate the armed robbery, I first swung by my office to pick up a photo of One-Eyed Joe. I was pretty sure that it was he whom the clerk had described. Who else could it be?

I showed the clerk the picture and she positively identified One-Eyed Joe as the robber. So I drove to his house and found a car parked in the grass near the front door. It matched the description of the get-a-way car. The hood was still warm.

I had arrested One-Eye many times in the past for his various crime sprees, and not once had he ever shown any violence, much less had a weapon of any sort. However, since the clerk said he had brandished a knife this time, I didn’t take any chances and called for back-up to meet me at the house.

Once help arrived, I knocked on the door. In a matter of seconds, the door opened and a very high Joe stared me in the face. The good eye darted from side to side, looking first to my right eye, then to my left. The white eye eerily followed suit.

He spoke first, “I guess you come after me about what we done at the truck stop.” I told him that yes, that was my reason for being there.

“I done it,” he said. “At least me and him together done it.” He pointed inside the room to where his partner sat on the linoleum floor beside a short coffee table—the only piece of furniture in the house that had not been sold or cut up for firewood. On the table top was a broken-off boom box antenna, a makeshift pipe for smoking crack, and several bits and pieces of aluminum foil—the wrappings for the crack cocaine.

The two chatterboxes wouldn’t stop talking, an effect of smoking crack, and I didn’t want any problems in court with their unending, babbling confession, so I promptly advised them of Miranda, something I’d do a few times as their high dissipated, just to be sure they understood the words and their meaning (as if they didn’t already know the drill by heart).

I handcuffed each of them and drove them back to my office for further questioning. Along the way, One-Eye explained—between tears and sobs—that he was grateful for us catching him so soon. He went on to say he was scared and worried that he would have killed someone to get the next piece of crack. He told me he had no control over his life. I believed that statement to be true. The men were so high and so desperate for the next hit, that they would’ve done anything to get it, including murder, which, they’d said, was next on their list. They’d planned to go back to the truck stop to kill the clerk and then steal the company safe.

I often wonder just how many people have come that close to death, without knowing it. How about you? Has there been a “One Eye’d Joe in your life?” Someone who’d thought of killing you, but didn’t because of a last minute intervention. Or, will you meet your “Joe” tomorrow?

Today, perhaps?

 

Friday's Heroes - Remembering the fallen officers

 

You gave your all to protect and serve us, and for that we are eternally grateful.

Corporal Terry Johnson, 48

Sebastian County Arkansas Sheriff’s Office

March 2, 2013 – While on patrol, Corporal Terry Johnson died as a result of injuries received during a rollover traffic crash. He is survived by his wife.

Master Trooper Junius A. Walker, 63

Virginia State Police

March 7, 2013 – Master Trooper Junius A. Walker was shot and killed while conducting a traffic stop. The suspect exited his vehicle and began firing at Trooper Walker as he sat in his patrol car. Walker was able to return fire and call for backup, but succumbed to his injuries at the scene. The suspect was apprehended after a brief shootout with a responding trooper.

Trooper Walker, a 35 year veteran, is survived by his wife and two adult children.

*Trooper Walker, many years ago you responded to my call for assistance, and for that I’m thankful. I truly wish I could have repaid you in kind, yesterday, when it was you who needed help. Your bright smile never failed to light up a room, and it will be sorely missed by everyone.

 

Southland: Under the big top

They say that working for the LAPD is a ticket to the greatest show on earth. But it isn’t always easy to get to the front row.

If you’ve ever been to a large circus, those with three rings of action all going at once, along with trained horses, camels, and elephants circling the perimeter while high-stepping, dancing, and prancing, then you should be able to picture what it’s like work as a patrol officer in any one of America’s cities.

A typical eight or twelve-hour shift sends officers responding to call after call after call. While some are quite serious, others barely rate a response from emergency first responders. But, officers go and they do what it takes to close the file, even if that means conducting a brief “hand-holding” session to calm the fragile nerves of a frightened elderly person with failing eyesight and a limited ability to hear. Of course, the next call could be an ax murder or the bombing of a public building, which sends officers into “high-alert” mode, switching personality and demeanor instantly, from calm and cool peacemaker to real-life action hero who runs into gunfire in order to save lives and protect the innocent.

It’s that sort of circus that plays out day after day, night after night, 365 days a year, in every city, town, village, county, and state across our vast country. Officers everywhere respond to one call after another, practically nonstop, darting from street to street, zig-zagging from neighborhood to neighborhood, and often without so much as a spare moment to enjoy popcorn, peanuts, or Crackerjacks.

Last night’s episode of Southland was, of course, typical Southland, with actors portraying police work in its true form—raw, gritty, and not a single tick short of emotional.

– Ben’s new girlfriend, “Teacher Brooke” may be just what Ben needs to reel him in, back to a lighter side of life.  In the scenes where she appeared with him, the skies above actually seemed brighter. And she’s lasted longer than Ben’s typical single night “notch on the bedpost” date, so that’s a good thing. However, the idea that Ben has accepted a role in another TV series doesn’t make Southland fans feel comfortable about seeing a season 6 in the lineup. We’ll see.

– Sammy is grasping at straws, doing whatever he thinks will help him in his quest to hang on to parental rights of little red-headed Nate. But a court evaluator’s inspection of the home isn’t too favorable. She cites a hot water issue that needs immediate attention and tells Sammy to find the money to take care of it. I’m sure she had no clue that in a few short hours he’d do just that…”find” some extra cash. Sure, it was stolen loot, but Sammy’s thinking it’ll spend just as easily as any other cash. I did, however, think the writers could have come up with a better problem than water that’s too hot, because all Sammy would have to do to correct the problem is to turn down the temperature on the hot water heater. Cost…$0.

Gas water heater thermostat control. Electric heaters also have a similar control.

– Lydia. Poor, dear, Lydia. The father of her baby suddenly wants to play Father Knows Best and be a part of the child’s life. Well, he didn’t want to when things were going well at home. However, now that his current wife has discovered what a “ho” he really is she wants a divorce. So he goes running back to Lydia, spouting, “I’ve always loved you.” Well, it sure looks as if what he loves is not being alone, which seems to be a discreet back-story in this episode. And, for whatever sad or unfortunate reason, many real-life cops often find themselves in lonely, desperate situations.

Loneliness can be a very real part of the territory that comes with an officer’s job, a job that many civilians complain about, know nothing about it, yet, wouldn’t do it themselves. Especially for low wages and crappy hours. Just last night in Savannah, Ga., officers were forced to engage in a shootout with a suspect after a long, high-speed pursuit. One officer, a female officer, was wounded by the suspect’s gunfire. Starting salary for Savannah officers…a little over $15 per hour. Garbage truck driver in the same area, $16.90 per hour.

– Dewey is conducting a welfare check (officers are often called to check on people who haven’t answered phone calls or their door(s) when family and/or friends try to contact them—welfare checks). So, in the course of looking for the “missing” person, he, Cooper, and Hank discover a vat of stewing human remains (bones, etc.). And, they believe that someone possibly murdered homeowner, Ted. They call in the detectives to begin an investigation. Lydia and Ruben catch the call, and set out to do a bit of clue and fact-finding.

Turns out that Ted faked his own death only to turn up later in the show. Of course, Lydia and Ruben arrest him and he immediately argues that it’s not illegal to fake your own death. Well, it is…sort of. An adult certainly has a right to disappear, but cannot change his/her name without doing so legally. And, pretty much anything you do to cover your tracks would be illegal as well (fraud). And, to stage a false murder is against the law.

– Cooper and Hank seem to catch more than their fair share of odd calls, from a man butchering a goat in a bathtub, to another man using a slingshot to break storefront windows. The glass-breaker told Coop, after he was caught in the act, that he did it to feel “new,” since his life had become stagnant. It was a thrill for him to do something exciting.

An argument between a prostitute and her pimp/boyfriend occurs at the rear of Coop and Hank’s patrol car. During a pat-down search for weapons, Coop and Hank joke around, sounding a bit like game show announcers. Well, yes, officers do sometimes joke around like that. Dumb? A bit silly? Sure, but it helps to offset the extreme seriousness that comes with the job. You absolutely cannot talk about dead bodies, wife beaters, and child abusers all day, everyday. If so, a lot more officers would probably drive down a dead end road to stick a gun barrel against the roof of their mouths. Ya’ gotta laugh sometime.

Cooper and Hank also respond to a call where it’s believed that an elderly man has committed suicide. Cooper finds the guy sitting outside, with a slight bullet wound to the side of his head (he chickened out at the last minute—not uncommon). The man tells Cooper that his wife is no longer around and the deafening quiet of an empty house is more than he can bear. He misses her and the sound of her footsteps as she moved from one room to another. Familiar sounds are comforting. In true cop style and humor, Cooper suggests the man install carpet. Great line.

Ben and Sammy respond to a “211” call. I’m not from LA, but I assume a 211 is code for a robbery, possibly even a silent alarm relating to a robbery/hold up. They spot the car involved in the crime and begin a pursuit (I believe this was bases on a real case). The driver of the car starts tossing wads of cash out of the window, which brings dozens of people into the streets to snatch up as much of money as they can possibly grab, a tactic to slow the pursuing police car. While in pursuit and dodging money-grabbing people, some folks toss “liquids” at the patrol car, soaking both Ben and Sammy. Typical of people who hate cops. I’ve had citizens pelt my car with rocks and bottles as I drove through not-so-nice areas of the city. I’ve also discovered bullet holes in fenders. That sort of thing just makes you feel absolutely unappreciated and unloved. But I’m certain the little darlin’s mean well. Bless their hearts.

Okay, back to Sammy and Ben, who’re now in foot pursuit of the robber who’s still tossing cash around like confetti. Ben chases the guy onto a train, but Sammy didn’t make it inside before the doors closed and the train pulled away. Ben is forced to confront the guy one on one. He has the guy cornered and orders him to the ground with his arms out to either side. That’s the correct procedure. After that, though, this one fell apart.

Ben had the guy down on the floor, with his head toward Ben. Wrong. The guy should have been made to face away from Ben. And what happened next was quite predictable. Ben had to step across the bad guy’s outstretched arms, and the crook took advantage of the weak, exposed moment. He grabbed Ben and the two went at it like MMA stars in the octagon.

Ben, however, did what any fit cop would’ve done…he fought like his life depended on it, and it did. In those situations you do whatever it takes to survive. If that means to bash the guy’s head against every wall, floor, ceiling, and railing in the place, well, then, so be it. The name of the game is to SURVIVE to live another day.

When the scuffle was over and Ben snapped the cuffs in place, he made his way to a seat and and practically melted into it as the train’s passengers sat there staring at him in near disbelief at what they’d just seen. I can assure you that Ben’s reaction was quite normal, and he played the part superbly. After a serious battle to gain control of a combative suspect, especially when you’re alone without backup, it is extremely taxing on your nerves and muscles. You’re suddenly very weak as the adrenaline rush dissipates. Your legs and arms feel like rubber bands. Your hearing is dull, and your eyesight a bit dim. Hands tremble and breathing is slow to return to its normal state. You feel your heart thumping against the inside of your rib cage. And all you’re thinking at the moment is…I survived.

As usual, we see the Southland officers at the end of their shift. The excitement is gone, the nerves and adrenaline in check, and calm has been restored. The job is over and behind them, until tomorrow.

Sammy calls the plumber to let him know to start work on his hot water troubles. He’s suddenly found enough cash to cover the cost. Unfortunately, the cash he “found” was from the robbery earlier in the day. Sammy had apparently joined the crowd, doing a little “cash grabbing,” himself. This act just may come back to bite him on the rear, especially if the plumber does his banking at the place from where the money was taken. Oh what a tangled web we weave when little Sammy practices to deceive.

It’s business as usual with Cooper. He’s home alone, having a drink when he discovers the slingshot the suspect used to break the storefront windows. So, for kicks, he uses it to fire something at an empty bottle, breaking it. Coop lets out a little chuckle. Maybe the act of breaking glass is a bit exciting after all. At the very least, it delivered a smile at the end of very long day, and the beginning of what would surely be a long, lonely night in Southland…

Oh, Coop’s opening shower scene. I’ll say this about Cudlitz, he has real talent, and guts. There aren’t many actors out there who’re are both willing and able to smile twice at once—one horizontal and one vertical. No “butts” about it…

*By the way, this week was the second time in as many weeks that some officers around the country took offense at the opening voice-over. I was swamped with messages about it. To imply that the LAPD is the greatest department (show) on earth is insulting to officers everywhere. I believe I’d think twice before offending police officers a third time, since they’re a large part of the show’s following. I’m just saying.

Hotdog Murder

 

Solving a murder case is sort of like working a jigsaw puzzle in reverse, starting with a whole picture—the puzzle-parts all in place. Investigators then begin to pick apart, examine, and scrutinize those individual sections, one-by-one, hoping to quickly locate and identify key pieces.

All murders have them, you know—those oddly-shaped pieces that lead detectives to MOMMotive, Opportunity, and Means. Then, with a killer’s MOM firmly in hand, detectives should easily be able to identify the person who possesses those all-so-important elements…the murderer. Simple, huh? Well, that’s not always the way it works out. Actually, more often than we see in the always-solved cases in our favorite whodunit novels, real-life puzzles are often missing a vital element or two.

Sure, murder cases are often solved quickly, especially those cases where the killer remains at the crime scene waiting patiently for police to arrive. And that happens quite often, believe it or not. And, there are cases where the killer murders someone in the presence of scores of witnesses. The solvability rate in those cases is, of course, very high.

For example, I once worked a case—The Great Hotdog Murder of ’91— that started out as a nice Saturday noontime lunch, with twin brothers enjoying all the hotdogs they could eat, their favorite meal. To the teens’ delight, their father had fired up the charcoal grill and, within a few minutes, the two boys were busy wolfing down dog after dog without wasting the time or energy to bother with buns or forks. Instead, they used their fingers to grab the tube steaks, dragging them through dollops of yellow mustard before nearly inhaling the processed meat sticks.

The grill-marked dogs disappeared at an equal rate, one each per hungry mouth. But dear old dad tossed a monkey wrench into the works when he decided he’d eat one, leaving an unfortunate odd number of piping hot all-beef weiners on the platter. Therefore, the eldest brother (by three or four minutes) was highly offended when his twin grabbed the last dog and quickly chomped off nearly half with one bite.

Knowing that dear old dad kept a loaded revolver in the top right-hand drawer of the buffet, the elder and now dogless twin, grabbed the gun and fired a round into his brother’s forehead, killing him in mid-chew. When I arrived, the dead twin still clutched a bite-size piece of hotdog in his hand. His murdering brother sat at the table waiting patiently for police to cart him off to jail. No tears. No emotion. Just a matter-of-fact, “He shouldn’t have grabbed the last hotdog. He knew I don’t play when it comes to my food.”

Yes, those cases are easily and quickly stamped “CLOSED.” However, when murders are committed by strangers, well, that’s when investigators begin to find a piece or two missing from the puzzle. Such as, cases where racial and ethnic minorities are deliberately killed. Those cases are far less likely to be solved than, say, when any child under the age of 5 is murdered. In those instances, the killer is identified approximately 90% of the time. This is so, because in murder cases involving younger children, the child killers are usually a close family member, or a friend of the family.

How about female murder victims as opposed to male? Well, according to a Scripps study of FBI reports, homicides involving women are solved three-fourths of the time, as opposed to two-thirds in cases involving male victims.

Cases involving prostitutes, gang members, drug dealers, and/or runaways are extremely difficult to solve, because the victims in these cases are in a higher risk category than, say, soccer moms, preachers, teachers, and business people.

The solvability ratio is the most glaring along racial lines, with only 67% of the cases solved when the victim is a young black male (only 64% when African American male victims are between 20 and 24-years-old), as opposed to over 75% of cases solved when the victims are non-Hispanic whites.

In cases of stranger on stranger murder…well, they’re the most difficult to solve.

Then, there are the cases involving lover’s spats and cheating spouses. Those cases are solved nearly every time (98%).

Alcohol or drug-related fights ending in death—90% of those cases are solved by police. And, ethnicity is not a factor in these cases. It is also not a factor in cases of lover and spousal fights that end in murder.

Strangely, when women are the victims of gang-related murder, well, those cases are highly unlikely to be solved.

So, I guess the lesson to be learned from all these facts, figures, and other information is…always share the last hotdog, especially if you are a female gang member who sidelines as a prostituting drug-dealer.

*Stats source – Scripps-Howard News