Illness and Crooks: A Parallel World

In light of the current state of affairs, it’s become apparent that we’ve not given criminals the appropriate credit for their ingenuity, forethought, instinct, and an incredible amount of insight. Here’s why I say this.

We’re now wearing masks when we enter businesses. Robbers and other crooks have worn masks since, well, forever.
We wear gloves when out in public. Bad guys have utilized this method of protection for a long, long time.
We stand no closer than six feet from other humans. Criminals have long preferred to keep their distances, especially from police officers. In fact, when cops approach a crook the suspect often uses the quickness of their feet to enhance the recommended social distance.
We’re told to not cough or sneeze around others to avoid contamination. Bad guys use every means possible to prevent the distribution of body fluids and other sources of DNA, and they’ve done so for many years.

The CDC published a checklist of things we should do to protect ourselves against contracting serious illness. Crooks developed a similar guideline and have used it since before Jesse James was knee-high to a grasshopper.

For example:

Practice everyday preventive actions now. This is a no-brainer to a crooks—hide from the police, hide the drugs, don’t tell anyone anything, and don’t return to the scene of the crime. This is part of the lesson plan from the Bad Guy 101 Training Manual, 1st Edition.
Learn about employers’ emergency operations plans. This is known as “casing the joint.”
Staying home from work, school, and all activities. AKA – On the Lam.
Talk with the people who need to be included in your plan. AKA – Meeting with the gang to coordinate the next caper.
Plan ways to care for those who might be at greater risk for serious complications. Make sure the slowest and dumbest accomplices don’t get caught. Help them during the getaway. Never snitch.
Get to know your neighbors. Find out if the guy in the house next to yours is a cop. If so, don’t do anything to attract attention to your operation.
Create an emergency contact list. Always carry a list of phone numbers of good defense attorneys and the local bail bondsman.
Wash your hands often with soap and water. Doing so removes trace evidence, such as gunshot residue and and the blood of your latest victim.

*The coronavirus is serious, and not something to be taken lightly. This post is merely intended to add a smidgeon of tongue-in-cheek brightness to a cloudy day. However, if you take a moment to focus on the information you’ll see that it is indeed instructional and could be used as research for works fiction … sort of.

Please stay safe. Do go out unless absolutely necessary. Wear your masks and gloves. Use disinfectants and hand sanitizers.