Cops: Writing Their Love Lives and Hunting Rabbits
Police officers face many difficult challenges during the course of their careers, challenges most people would avoid at all costs. For example, exchanging a few rounds of live ammunition with a doped up bad guy, or how about working really long, odd hours, or the fear of losing everything you own if you make a bad decision in that split second you have to make it.
And there’s – getting slapped, hit, punched, scratched, spit on, stabbed, cut, cursed at, having urine or feces thrown on you, puked on, bled on, wearing goofy clothing and heavy gear, having demanding supervisors, and seeing people hurt, sick, and even die in front of your eyes knowing there’s not a darn thing you can do about it. The danger level of the job is extremely high and getting worse every day. All it takes is a couple visits to this blog on any given Friday to know how dangerous the job really is.
And then there’s the ever popular low pay, little time off, missing holiday time with your family (if you still have one), high suicide rate, alcoholism, drug abuse, and divorce.
Still, through all the pain and agony and odd baggage that’s attached to every police officer, there’s always someone out there who’ll agree to enter into a relationship with the poor saps. And that’s a good thing, right? Well, not always, but we’ll get into that in another blog post First, I want to mention the piece I wrote earlier in the week, the one about writers writing cops and guns incorrectly. Let me clue you in on a little secret, you don’t always get the romances right, either.
There are three basic types of cops in the world of fiction – the ones in a relationship, the sad sack who couldn’t hang on to a spouse if she were a conjoined twin, and the cop who’s so screwed up emotionally even mental hospitals lock their doors when they see him coming. Everyone writes those scenarios pretty well. Of course, some write them better than others, but it’s the thought that counts, right?
Well, there’s another kind, a fourth relationship that’s not really talked about a lot. Part of the exit speech we presented to new recruits leaving the police academy consisted of a few basic warnings about the potential career-ending temptations cops are sometimes faced with, like access to tons and tons of unreported cash, drugs, alcohol, the fast life, prostitutes, abuse of power, and badge bunnies.
Badge bunnies? What the heck are badge bunnies? That was my reaction, too, when I first heard about them during the police academy superintendent’s “Welcome to the police officer family” speech during my last day at the police academy.
* (Please don’t shoot the messenger. I’m not being sexist, just relaying some very real information. Of course this does work both ways; there are male badge bunnies, too, but not as many).
Well, the term badge bunny is often defined as (from Urban Dictionary):
– Badge Bunny: A female that goes out with only cops and firemen.
– Badge Bunny: A female who enjoys “boinking” and actively pursuing sexual relationships with cops.
– Badge Bunny: A female, usually of barely legal age, who spends her time chasing police officers, offering her “services” in hopes of gaining status among her badge bunny friends.
New cops, the ones fresh out of the academy, are the officers who are most vulnerable to an attack from the vicious badge bunnies. They can’t help it; the recruits are young, good looking, and freshly muscled from weeks and weeks of exercise and other training. They have shiny new equipment, sharply creased uniforms, tight haircuts, but more importantly, they have guns and badges!
Graduation day at the academy is like sending fifty or so Roadrunners out into a world of Wle E. Coyotes. Badge Bunnies know the rookie’s weaknesses because they’ve studied the uniformed species for a long time.
How does a badge bunny attack? They’re successful in various ways. For the sake of time and space I’ll list a few their deadly methods of operation.
– The fake car breakdown, needing an officer’s assistance.
– The fake prowler call, answering the door in a sexy outfit, or nothing at all.
– The grocery store maneuver. You couldn’t reach the Special K even though you’re a good foot taller and eighty pounds heavier than the cop. Yeah, right.
– Tapping the brake pedal when they pass. The rookie officer sees the flashing brake lights each time the car passes his patrol car. Hmm, she must be signaling him. Is she in trouble? Or…
– Speeding, knowing she has all the ammo she needs to get out of the ticket.
– Hanging out in cop bars.
– Hanging out in restaurants, coffee shops, etc., frequented by graveyard shift cops.
– Hanging out at sporting events, especially softball games played by cop teams.
– Wearing tee shirts with logos that read, I Love Cops.
Relationships with badge bunnies rarely last. In fact most of them rarely make it into the light of day. These are secret relationships – brief meetings, encounters, and…well, I’ll leave it at that. I know, your next question is, “Where do they meet for their “encounters?” How about…
– patrol cars – inside and outside (lots of things to hold onto – light bars, spotlights, handcuffs…)
– police station warehouses and property rooms
– department offices
– small airport runways (for the deputies working the rural areas)
– SWAT vehicles
Well, you get the idea.
Many badge bunnies keep a scorecard and move on quickly to the next guy with a gun. But, sometimes the relationship turns into a lasting thing with marriage, kids, and everything. But not often.
I had a brief statement that I offered to the recruits I trained when I was a field training officer. It went something like this, “Keep your gun in your holster and you won’t have to worry about shooting the wrong person.” Now, there were two messages there, right? They never, ever listened to the hidden meaning.
Hell, I could read their thoughts as I made my statement. Their thought – “Be vewy, vewy quiet. I’m hunting wabbits.”
* I’m only referring to the bad bunnies in this post – the scorekeepers. There are plenty of folks who are simply attracted to a certain kind of person, and they are wonderful folks who have wonderful, lasting relationships!
Cassity. First, thanks for stopping by. Second – No one here is judging anyone. Not at all. We just provide the information. Remember, I was a cop for many years, and my wife was definitely not a badge bunny. Actually, when we first met she disliked cops.
My wife is a well-respected scientist. So, if anything, I was a nerd bunny, because I was the one who did the stalking… 🙂
By the way, the intent of this blog is to educate writers about the world of cops and robbers, so we do sometimes delve into some touchy subjects. Please do come back. We’d love to hear from you!
I understand all about badge bunnies.
Both my first and second husbands were police officers.
I had to deal with a lot of women making passes at them and flirting shamelessly…even when I was around.
I never felt I was a badge bunny. Not every women that likes to date/marry a police is a badge bunny.
Some of us do prefer the alpha male.
I am a nurse, and it seems that lots of nurses and police officers are attracted to each other. In my opinion it has to do with the similarities in their careers. And the level of caring it takes to do the job.
I am currently dating a policeman, as is my preference.
Don’t judge everyone by a few.
Remember that not every cop is a cheater either.
wow. wondering if i have had my first BB moment…praying i’m wrong. he really is wonderful.
Lee Thanks for your words.. I do realize that there are bad applies in every field.. I totally get that, and I guess that is why I don’t hold it against the next officer that smiles at me. I believe we have more good officers then bad, I trust in them to protect me. I guess the thing that hurt the most was being called a badge bunny, but yet I did not pursue him, he did me?? So in reading this I guess it just made me wonder? Some would call his behavior like a predator… I call it just plain Stupid.. Good career gone down the drain, and for what??? To this day I don’t hate this man, I feel sad in my heart that he and I made these reckless decision at the cost of losing all insight to who you are.. Self satisfaction can do only so much!!!
Integrity, Honor, Protection,, Loyalty, Honesty.. It doesn’t matter if your a Civilian or a protector, Don’t ever lose sight of what these words stand for…
Much love, Be Safe always
Joey – Thanks for sharing something so personal. Unfortunately, your experience is not all that unusual. There are bad apples in every field.
So Whats it called when an officer comes to you with his little note pad and pen in hand asking you for your name, birthday, and number? When asked why:?? His reply is, for a ride a long??? Well always wanting to be a police officer the thought is awesome.. But little did I know I would be just a conquest added to his book of excitement… Even men on the job can fall short of common sense.. He lost his career of almost 20 years due to the lies, sex on the job, threatening to kill someone??? Hmmmmmmm I would never chase a police officer around for the likes of the thrill… But hell I have been chased by them…And then there’s nothing better then having a cop look at me now, and think I am the cause of a veteran being fired… Freaking makes me sick….. But I still support my local police officers… Not all who do the job use the power to exploit… Would I date another?? Not too sure, I for sure would think twice.. For those that do the job for the love of protection, Thank you.. I applaud and thank you for real…
I’ve worked in law enforcement for over 26 years and have seen many officers come and go from the job, top three reasons for getting fired: sex, alcohol/drugs, theft. What a waste of a career.
OMG, I’ve been a Badge Bunny and didn’t even know it! LOL
I have to admit to following two homicide detectives from my state who wrote two books a few years back to five or six writers’ conferences. I remember they teased – I hope it was teasing – about being a groupie. But once they both realized all I wanted was to tap their minds, I got invited to all kinds of law enforcement lectures because one of them taught criminal justice classes at a local college.
Just remember, Lee, I only followed you to one conference –Bouchercon in Baltimore – so far. Guess I’m getting too old and too feeble to be a good cop groupie. I’d really like to go to your Writers’ Police Academy, but not sure if my arthritis will let me. Good luck with it.
One of the cop-centric sites I belong to (similar to facebook) is filled with them. They send daily messages to all the cops with soft porn photos. I imagine the guys like it, but it’s really hard to take a site like that seriously. And when the kids are looking over my shoulder, they are bombarded with images I’d rather they didn’t see. can’t imagine that if a cop opens up that site on the job, he wouldn’t be up for some sort of discipline.
This was a topic Homicide Detective Hussey skirted on his ‘sex and the badge’ post. He said he’d promised his colleagues he wouldn’t say anything that might get them in trouble. This is what he said in his intro to that post:
I promised the guys when I started this book that I wouldn’t go into too much detail about the sexual exploits of the boys in blue. Suffice it to say that there were always girls around, literally hanging around the police station, drooling at a chance to hook up with a Lakeland cop. Also suffice to say that the “ladies” were never disappointed, no matter what they looked like. There was always someone willing, if not when sober, then after a couple of beers, to satisfy a cop groupie.
Most of those situations, however, were “relatively” normal. Cops are known to be kinky but not perverted.
The difference, an old cop once told me is this: “Kinky” involves the use of a feather during a sexual encounter. A “pervert” uses the whole chicken. I met a lot of chicken users over the years.
Be careful if you visit the badge bunny website. I purposely didn’t post the link due to a few pretty offensive (nude) photos on there. Okay, now I know everyone is clicking the link as fast as they can, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.
SZ – you are a riot!
JT – Oh, there are definitely several more phrases and terms out there, but I was being nice. 🙂
LOL but kind of sad, too…I searched hoping NOT to find them on the internet, but here they are: http://www.badgebunnydivas.com/
What bars do they go to ? It is so my turn to date a cop ! Really, my first boyfriend was a biker and a construction worker. The last guy I dated was a cowboy. So I am half way through The Village People . . .
I’m just saying.
Lee, I’ve often heard these predatory angels referred to as something much more coarse – I like your terminology better. Thanks for always bringing something exciting to the table.
Thanks for the informative and entertaining post. Liked the pics too. LOL.