You Know You’re Officially a Crime Writer When …
What is it that sets writers of crime fiction apart from, well, everyone else in the entire world? Could it be that …
1. The worst murder scene in the world pales in comparison with the thoughts roaming through your mind at any given moment of the day.
2. You actually do wonder what human blood smells like.
3. Somewhere in your house is a book containing photos of crime scenes and/or dead bodies. (Click the book!)
4. You want to ride in the back seat of a police car.
5. Your internet search history has a file all its own at the Department of Homeland Security.
6. At least once in your life you’ve asked your significant other to pose in a certain way so you can see if it’s possible/believable to stab, cut, shoot, hack, or strangle them from a variety of angles.
7. You own a pair of handcuffs, and they’re strictly for research purposes.
8. The cop who lives in your neighborhood hides when he/she sees you coming with pen and paper in hand.
9. You attend more police training workshops than what’s required of the police officers in your town.
Lecture Hall – Writers’ Police Academy
10. While other people fall asleep listening to soft music or gentle ocean waves, your sleep machine plays the sounds of police sirens and automatic gunfire.
11. Your favorite bookmark is an actual toe tag from the morgue.
12. Writers in other genres listen to classical music while working. You, however, have a police scanner chattering in the background.
13. When using a large kitchen knife to chop vegetables, your thoughts drift to using an ax to dismember a body.
14. You see a cop and instantly know the caliber and manufacturer of the pistol on his side.
15. You’ve searched high and low for a perfume or cologne that smells like gunpowder.
16. You own a police flashlight.
17. Your screensaver is a photo of a police K-9.
18. The ringtone on your phone is the theme song for the TV show COPS.
19. You think you know more about crime-scene investigations than most of the cops in your city, and you probably do.
20. You’ve registered for 2021 Virtual MurderCon, a one of a kind event that takes writers behind the scenes to learn insider information about crime-solving from top forensics and law enforcement experts. And yes, we’re pleased to announce that spots are now available! So please spread the word.
