Wacky Police News
PICO RIVERA, Calif. – Local deputies were searching for a burglary suspect when one of the lawmen thought he saw someone inside a boot store. The quick thinking deputy sprayed pepperspray into the attic, apparently the only hiding spot available, as an attempt to flush out the vermin. Well, seconds after the hot mist hit the air the suspect fell through the ceiling and almost landed in the officer’s waiting arms.
Richmond, Va. – Two men robbed a man at gunpoint. After taking his wallet the men fled, but later called their victim on the telephone and demanded that he meet them at a nearby ATM so they could get more cash from the poor guy. He agreed (with the help of the police). When the victim showed up at the ATM he found the two suspects waiting eagerly for their easy mark. Police officers quickly moved in to arrest the too-greedy robbers.
SANDY, Utah – A former Sandy police officer, Eric Cunningham (no, not Ritchie’s brother), has plead guilty to felony theft. The charges came as a result of claiming 56 hours of overtime he was not entitled to, and for writing 158 falsified citations. The pen-happy officer faces up to five years in prison. What, there aren’t enough real speeders in Utah? If not, I’m sure California would be more than happy to loan them a few from the 101.
Oldsmar, Fla. – Deputies in Oldsmar are tough and they take the crime of jaywalking seriously. Don’t believe it? Then ask the 7′ alligator that attempted to catch a morning nap near a school crosswalk. When the beast refused commands to cease and desist and began to crawl across the street, three deputies roped the animal, handcuffed its hind legs, and then taped its mouth closed.
Think what they’d do to a litterer…
Maryland State Fair – Macho man and teen heartthrob, Justin Bieber, assaulted two Maryland State Troopers by hitting them with water balloons. The act was intentional and actually soaked one of the on-duty officers from the gun belt down, including dowsing the trooper’s sidearm. Bieber’s handlers were able to talk the troopers out of arresting the little brat…I mean star. Good thing the singer wasn’t wearing a helmet cam or he’d have been in deep trouble.
* * *
Only 10 days left until the Writers’ Police Academy and we still have room for you!
The deadline to enter the 200 word short story contest was September 10. The Golden Donut Award sure would look nice sitting on your desk! I hope we have your entry!
All FATS information and schedules have been sent to the recruits via email. Partners have been assigned, so please check your inboxes and confirm upon receipt of the message. If you have not received your scheduled shoot time please let me know at firstname.lastname@example.org. A few of the emails bounced back to us as undeliverable. Therefore, we need a working email address for you.
The names of the eight finalists for the Don Knotts Silver Bullet Novel Contest are in! Good luck to each of you!
Lara Louise Crawford
Jodi S. Kilpack
Bonnie K. Stevens
The gator cops in Florida missed one crucial step, in my opinion.
First they SHOT the s.o.b. – THEN – the “three deputies roped the animal, handcuffed its hind legs, and then taped its mouth closed.”
Of course, we’re not too used to those things around these parts! 🙂