Madam Zelda did a reading for us this morning and she’s confident 2015 will be a fantastic year. Here’s a list of her top 24 predictions. Believe me, she’s always right…well, almost always.
1. Alafair Burke enrolls in a much-needed television repair and install course at a local community college.
2. Michael Cudlitz actually wears pants during the filming of the next Writers’ Police Academy video. That’s right, he was indeed pant-less in the 2014 video. At least the Walking Dead star wore a shirt…
3. Good cop Melanie Atkins will be caught in steamy affair with Richard Castle. Beckett to file for divorce.
4. Sara Gruen arrested for construction of massive unpermitted gingerbread houses.
5. Katherine Ramsland purchases Bonaventure Cemetery and converts it to summer home.
6. Someone almost takes Hannah Schwartz seriously.
7. Mike Roche, former Secret Service agent, officially changes name to Love Doctor after becoming THE most sought-after romance book cover model.
8. Rick McMahan is appointed to head ATF. Rejects the offer in favor of a career as ballet instructor. His wife is not surprised. Not at all.
9. David Swords sets sights on becoming the next Love Doctor.
10. Andy Russell, WPA instructor, moves to Florida and becomes shuffleboard king.
11. Marco Conelli develops allergies to Italian food.
12. Dave Pauly, cold case expert, solves the Jimmy Hoffa mystery. Finds the missing mobster working as a server in a local Cracker Barrel restaurant.
13. Elvira files paternity suit against Oak Ridge Boys crooner Joe Bonsall.
14. Lisa Gardner appears on morning TV and announces, “My name is Lisa Gardner. Except most likely it isn’t.” A close friend, DD Warren, says the bestselling author fears nothing and will never crash and burn, no matter who she really is.
15. Marcia Clark (yes, that Marcia Clark) receives new pair of gloves as birthday gift. They don’t fit.
16. Steve Brown awakens from coma and learns he’s actually a local cop, not FBI. He cries nonstop from February through June.
17. Jodie Renner reveals plans to write book on how to edit editing books.
18. Hazel Dixon Cooper predicts there’ll be more predictions in the future.
19. This one’s a stretch, but it’s believed that Hank Phillippi Ryan will embark on a book tour.
20. Jenny Milchman enters book tour Twilight Zone and is unable to exit the never-ending loop.
21. Les Edgerton is finally able to accept the fact that not all skies are blue.
22. Renee Paley Bain, AKA “Me,” reunites with her long-lost sisters, Coffee and Tea, who currently own and operate a small private school for wayward flight attendants.
23. Lee Child begins second career as a Billy Ray Cyrus tribute singer. He goes by the name “Achy Breaky Reacher.”
24. Robin Burcell confesses to crime spree after realizing the composite sketch she drew was of herself.