Castle: ‘Til Death Do Us Part – A Review

Castle: Til Death Do Us Part

Well, it wasn’t the wedding diehard Castle fans have been hoping to see, but close…sort of. Yes, we almost saw Ryan marry Jenny, but didn’t. Sure, we know it happened, right? Still, all we were allowed to see was a brief rear-view glimpse of Castle and Beckett walking down the aisle heading to their seats.

I know, though, that half-second teaser will have many Castle fans drooling at the mere thought of those two strolling arm-in-arm toward the altar. But no wedding after all the build-up? Disappointing? I say yes. It was a huge let down. If only that was the worst disappointment of the show. If only…

I’ll get to the police and forensics gaffes later. First, let’s hear from Melanie.

Melanie Atkins

Finally, the Christmas hiatus is over! Seems like even longer than that since we’ve had a new episode of Castle. I’ve really been looking forward to this one… and I have to say that I’ve seen better, although I did love the little snippets of relationship angst, the “surprise” about Jenny, and the doughnut fight. That was too funny.

When the episode opens, Kevin is doing a cleanse with Jenny in preparation for the wedding, and everyone else is freaking out over who’s bringing who as a plus one. Kate’s face is priceless when Ryan mentions that Rick is bringing a date, as is the relief in her eyes upon learning he’s bringing Alexis.

The convoluted case irked me. And really, I’m thinking… case? What case? I was too busy watching the interaction between our dynamic duo, Esposito and Lanie, and Ryan and Jenny (what we got to see of them together) to really care what happened to those strange people. The only good thing that came of it was that the sheer number of women the “pickup crew” slept with put that topic in front of Kate and Rick, and of course he had to ask her to tell him her “number”. “You show me yours, and I’ll show you mine” — a conversation that went nowhere in the end, of course, because Kate wouldn’t tell him. Why should she? A girl’s got to have some secrets. And I suspect she had no desire to know Rick’s number. I don’t blame her.

I did laugh out loud at “Gyrating Jenny”… but was disappointed that Ryan already knew about her being with Mike Bailey. Ho hum. They eventually solved the case, of course, and this time the killer was someone I never would have suspected. But creepy pickup artists with hordes of conquests in a little black picture book? Combined with corporate espionage? Really? Pardon me while I roll my eyes. I would much rather have just seen the wedding prep and the nuptials.

Of course, Kate and Rick ended up being each other’s plus one for the wedding, and I loved that… but I wanted to see the ceremony and the dancing at the reception. Kate-Rick dancing, to be specific. And the Esposito-Lanie (Esplanie) plus one finagling… very cute. They obviously still like each other. They need to just go ahead and get back together already. Seriously. And again, I would have liked to have seen them dance together, too.

All in all, this was a pretty forgettable episode. I hope next Monday’s offering, Dial M for Mayor, is better.

Before I start I would like to remind everyone that this review started at the request of a group of writers who wanted to know if the police and forensics procedure they’re seeing on this show is accurate. They wanted to know so they wouldn’t make the same mistakes…and goodness knows there are many (can you say Lanie?).

Yes, I know the show is fiction. Yes, I know Beckett is not a real cop. Yes, I know, I know, I know. So feel free to hold your hate mail because I actually like the show.

Okay, here goes:

Take a look at the photo above. Do I need to say more?

Wow, Lanie was in high Voodoo-Forensics-mode this week. Basically, just discount almost everything you heard coming from her nonsense-babbling lips. Such as…

1. “Judging from the impact, I’d say he came from one of the windows above the 7th floor.” No way to tell a fall distance merely by looking at the front of a body laying in a pile of fruit. And there’s certainly no way to differentiate between the 6th and 7th floor based on “impact.”

2. “…fingernail marks are only an hour old…” I’m guessing Lanie took a quick peek into her crystal ball for this prediction.

3. The perfectly formed, silver fingerprint on the wine glass??? RARELY, is a print that perfect and that complete, and THAT visible. What, did the person dip their finger into a jar of fingerprint powder before grabbing the glass? Besides, how would they have learned the attorney’s identity by running the print through the system? Remember, her prints would have to be on file before it could generate a match and AFIS searches a CRIMINAL database. There is no wine-drinker’s fingerprint database.

4. Lanie determined the victim had been poisoned and knew exactly which poison and how the toxic substance was introduced into the body (via a chocolate protein shake). First of all, toxicology results don’t happen in mere minutes. Second, those tests are conducted by a toxicologist, not the M.E.

5. Lanie said she ran a DNA test and confirmed the victim had had sex, twice, just before kicking the bucket. Think about it, folks….Lanie ran a tox, a DNA test, a gastric content analysis, and all within a few minutes of getting the body to her magical, mystery morgue. An M.E. doesn’t do all those things! Besides, those things take time…lots of time! Grrr….

Moving on before my head explo…

Too late.

Beckett, Beckett, Beckett…why did you burst into a business meeting holding your badge at shoulder height for all to see. At that time you merely wanted to talk to someone, a private citizen as far as you knew. Those weren’t the bad guys. Besides, the admin had already announced that you were detective. I know, stuff like that makes for exciting TV, but in real life, sit in the lobby and wait until the meeting over, you know, like the rest of us do.

And please explain to us why you felt the need to show the boss a copy of the victim’s autopsy photo? He already knew the guy, and he knew he was dead. Were you showing off Lanie’s sewing abilities and stitching patterns, or what?

Well, I think I’ve said enough for one week. The case was pretty crappy.  Absolutely nothing to lead us to the killer. It was almost as if they showed us a bunch of people and then, at the last second before the credits rolled, threw a dart to see who’d be the murderer of the week.

I really wish they’d stop trying to focus on solving crimes and stick with what this show does best…fun, quirky humor. And please, have Lanie start watching Dr. G. Maybe, just maybe, she’d learn something…anything.

Oh well, I’ve gotta go. My head is killing me…

Now, for fun…

The Wedding – Kevin and Jennifer Ryan

14 replies
  1. Wendy Dingwall
    Wendy Dingwall says:

    In this case, I have to say I enjoyed the critical review way more than the Castle episode. I laughed out loud at Lee’s exploding head and the quip about the wine-drinker’s data base. Thanks for keeping us honest.

  2. Ruby
    Ruby says:

    I’m sad to say that I no longer watch Castle. As a health care professional, I found myself gritting my teeth after every episode.The medical errors were just too much to stomach. I am not a policeman, but even I could pick up on questionable police procedures.

  3. Leslie Budewitz
    Leslie Budewitz says:

    Ditto on Elizabeth’s question. I’ve been printed for each state bar admission, and teachers and other professionals are printed, too. What databases are our prints stored in, if not AFIS?

  4. Pat Marinelli
    Pat Marinelli says:

    I watched this episode again to spot all the things I’d missed the first time that’s when I realized the Capt. Gates was not in it this week. Gee, it took watching it twice to notice that. Does taht tell you what a memorable she is?

  5. Lee Lofland
    Lee Lofland says:

    Well, first of all, they didn’t know the print on the glass belonged to a lawyer.

    But, prints for attorneys, teachers, child care workers, employment, etc., are not entered INTO the criminal database. They are, however, cross-checked to see if those people already have a criminal record on file.

  6. Elizabeth
    Elizabeth says:

    Lee- I’m curious about the fingerprints. When a person takes the bar exam, they have to give their prints to the FBI. Assuming the person isn’t a wanted criminal, do they just throw the prints away or what? I thought that’s how they ID’d the lawyer?

  7. lauw
    lauw says:

    Great review, I have to say I am a huge fan of the show but like you guys, not because of the great procedural technicalities. This episode was on that matter, however, a down-low. I have to agree with @martha bauder, HOW WAS THE M.E ABLE TO ESTABLISH THE VIC HAD SEX WITH TWO GIRLS? and with condom? Its a mystery to me. The Isreali accent was also ridiculous, they have a really lazy casting director and he/she should be fired.
    Anyway not enough of Ryan’s wedding, I had my hopes up for a Caskett dance…sorely disappointed. Well we did get some nice banter and Beckett was ogling Castle all through the episode, that girl is head over (very high) heels in luuuurve 🙂

  8. Maryann Mercer
    Maryann Mercer says:

    Words fail me. So did the writers. But I’m not giving up just yet…there is February and sweeps…and at least we now know Alexis and Martha have found new loves :o)

  9. Edie Ramer
    Edie Ramer says:

    It was pretty awful. I hadn’t watched the last few episodes, and I won’t watch it again. This was took much. They lost me for good with this one.

  10. PatMarinelli
    PatMarinelli says:

    I love the romance part of this episode, but the crime part? I’m so glad I read you reveiw, Lee, because I was so totally lost in the crime part.

    As to the Ryan and Jenny part. She told him about that guy, but did he really see the picture of her in the photo book? I don’t think so. It will be interesting to find out.

  11. Raphael Salgado
    Raphael Salgado says:

    My wife is Israeli and we were mildly outraged by the poor effort of the casting director. She was clearly South Asian, as was her accent. Seriously, you couldn’t find someone, anyone from the Middle East to play the part?

    Ya, this show was rather forgettable, but I’m happy to have it back. Let’s just hope they don’t keep doing episodes like this, or they won’t get another season (if they want it to keep going). If anything, they should have started the season off with a bang instead of a filler.

    Thanks again for the two-angle reviews and being so quick to put them up after the show.

  12. martha bauder
    martha bauder says:

    There were two things that really got my goat in this ep – the first was that Lanie was able to say that the victim had sex with TWO women within hours (minutes) of each other based on DNA and knew that he had worn a condom with both (really? Is there a test for that?). The second was when they said that the flight attendant was prior Israeli military. If they had researched, they’d know that nearly EVERY Israeli citizen is prior military – it’s mandatory service post-high school there. And her accent was a mystery to me – definitely not Israeli. (I lived there for a couple of years, never heard one like it before…closest I could approximate it is maybe Palestinian? But not even that…). If the show wasn’t so fun, I’d stop watching because it just stretches the bounds of imagination for both medical and police procedures too much for credibility.

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