My mother always told us to remain silent if we had nothing good to say about someone, and she, God rest her sweet soul, made a point of practicing what she preached. Therefore, I’m quite sure there were several of my and my brother’s trouble-making friends who pitied us, thinking our mother had been stricken by an awful disease of the vocal cords that had rendered her mute. Well, if I hadn’t promised a few good people that I’d write these weekly Castle reviews I’d certainly zip my lips closed for this episode. I’ve not got a single good word for it.
This show was absolutely horrible from its beginning, where spilled blood of Biblical proportions poured through several layers of building materials (not to mention the victim’s clothing) and then dripped onto the head of a house painter working in a lower-floor apartment. First it gushed, not seeped, through an area rug, then continued its journey through hardwood flooring sealed with a urethane-type finish, a plywood or OSB sub-floor, insulation (since this was an apartment building, insulation is normally used as soundproofing between floors), ceiling drywall, and finally through a coating of paint. What a set of wounds!
I’m baffled. I really don’t understand. Why? Because this episode was written by a real cop by the name of Will Beall. Beall is a wonderful writer, and he’s a veteran police officer. He works in L.A., and he grew up in Walnut Creek, near San Francisco, so it’s not like he’s lived on another planet, out of touch with civilization. The guy knows police work. He knows procedure. And he certainly knows that some things are realistic, and some are ridiculous. I’m still shaking my head over this one. Was he trying to be funny? If so, that too, failed miserably.
Okay, enough said. Let’s get this over with so I can go to bed. It’s already 1:17am. Sigh…
Roll up your pant cuffs and wade in with me, but be careful, it gets awfully deep.
– Even before the first commercial break my email box had begun to fill with remarks about the show. The first comments referred to a statement made by Esposito about the victim’s shotgun ammunition. He referred to it as .12 ga. hollow point. Well, folks, there is such a thing. This one was right. But from here on out…total BS.
12 Gauge Rio Royal Star Rifled Slug Hollow Point
12 Gauge Rio Rifled Slugs 250 round case
Rio Royal Star Rifled Slug Hollow Point, 2 3/4″ 1 1/8 ounce lead slug, 1410 FPS. 250 round case comes in 5 round boxes.
– I’ve seen Beckett and crew routinely pull back the slides on their pistols prior to entering dangerous situations. I don’t know a single real-life police officer who does this. They all keep their weapons fully loaded, with a round in the chamber. Actually, policy normally dictates that officers keep their weapons fully loaded with a round in the chamber.
Besides, if a weapon was fully loaded when the officer pulled back the slide as Beckett did tonight, the action would eject the round from the chamber, leaving her one bullet shy of a full magazine…
– The M.E. said the positioning of the victim’s wounds indicated the killer was over six-feet tall. She didn’t have enough information to make that determination. How’d she know the killer hadn’t been standing on a ladder when he stabbed the victim? Or, perhaps the victim, instead of the killer, was standing on a ladder, or kneeling, when he was attacked?
– Beckett cut open a package of what appeared to be narcotics and tasted the stuff. Freakin’ ridiculous! Cops DO NOT do this. First of all, it’s illegal to consume illegal narcotics. Second, how’d she know she wasn’t tasting rat poison, anthrax, or some other toxic substance? There are simple field-testing kits available and most cops/detectives carry one in their vehicle, or in their evidence kit. The test is really simple and really quick. Remove the top from the provided pouch, place a pinch of the suspected drug inside, break open the tiny enclosed reagent-filled glass ampule, and shake. The mixture changes color as it reacts with a drug. Different colors indicate the presence of certain drugs. For example, blue indicates the presence of cocaine. Pink means the substance is something other than cocaine.
Besides, the purpose of the tongue test for drugs isn’t for the taste, it’s to see if the tongue or gums become numb. Cocaine is a anesthetic; therefore, a numbing of the tongue and gums means the substance “tasted” is probably the real thing.
Hey, how’d Beckett know what heroin tasted like, anyway? Sounds like a month or two in rehab is in her future?
– Here we go. Stupid just got stupider. The ridiculous became ridiculouser. A rent-a-doctor shows up and says he performed a tomographic reconstruction of the victim’s knife wounds. What’s tomography you ask? It’s that cool graphics stuff – 3-D type images of crime scene and object reconstruction. You’ve seen it on CSI and other fake forensics shows that are written to entertain us. I have to say here that those show are very entertaining. They’re fun, and sometimes the scenes are real nail-biters. But not all the science depicted on the shows is real. And none of the networks, writers, directors, producers, or actors make any claims to that effect. For the most part, it’s all make believe.
Anyway, the forensic pathologist produced a plastic knife and said it was made using tomography of the victim’s wounds. He said it was an exact replica of the murder weapon. He also said it was a perfect copy of the same knife used to kill Beckett’s mother, ten years earlier. WHAT???
First, there’s no way possible to fashion an object based on wounds in human flesh, such as the knife wounds inflicted on this week’s victim, and Beckett’s mother. Tissue and muscle does not retain the shape of the object that penetrated, punctured, slashed, or lacerated it. We’re not made of Silly Putty.
And, if it was possible to make this “knife,” the doctor would have had to perform the exact same kind of hocus-pocus imagery on Beckett’s mother’s body at the time of her death in order to make an accurate comparison.
The doctor then said this was the only knife in the world that could have made the wounds. Therefore, the killer was the one and the same for both homicides. Again, BS! The knife in question, a Daggert 1, a knife that’s no longer in production, was manufactured by SOG Specialty Knives and Equipment. It’s a really sleek, and really nice knife that sold for approximately $130. Police and military were the intended targets for sales.
There are a couple of problems with the good doctor’s theory. Like…
…two copies of the Daggert 1. And, stabbing someone multiple times with a knife such as the Daggert 1 is NOT an uncommon means of murder. This could go on forever, but you get the idea, the theory doesn’t hold water.
– Beckett’s upset, and the captain, her boss, offers her a drink of liquor from a flask he pulled from his desk drawer. She’s on duty with a gun and badge on her side, which makes this highly unethical, not to mention very dangerous (guns, bullets, and alcohol are not a good combination). She unscrews the top and takes a swig. Then she makes a face and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.
What’s next, Beckett and a new guest star partying in the dressing room? Watch out Alyssa Milano!
– Beckett would not be permitted to investigate the death of her mother, especially in her current emotional state. It wouldn’t be good for the case, and it definitely would not be good for her mental health.
– Beckett (any cop) does not have the authority to let someone out of jail, or to make deals regarding sentencing (She promised to eliminate the possibility of a death sentence if the suspect provided the name of her mother’s killer).
– The scene where the bad guy grabbed Castle as a hostage was, like the rest of the show, stupid. There’s just no other word for it. Yep, stupid it is. Police officers would never let the guy out the door.
– After Beckett shot the bad guy/drug-dealing hit man she began CPR (ridiculous), attempting to save his life so he could lead her to her mother’s killer. ARRRGGGHHHH! Dumb, dumb, and dumb.
The civil liability alone was at it’s peak at this point in the show. I’m sure if the cameraman had panned to one side or the other we’d have seen Gloria Allred handing out business cards to the dead guy’s friends and family. After all, the suspect was killed because of Beckett’s personal involvement in the case.
The final scene of the show was the best of all. Unfortunately, I don’t remember what it was about, I just know it wasn’t offensive. And for this episode, that’s a good thing.
There were many, many things I could’ve included, but didn’t, due to lack of space in the cyber place where this stuff is stored. Nope, not enough room in the world to point out all the errors in this show.
Please forgive the typos and other stuff. I’m exhausted.
Time – 4:14am. Good night…zzzzzzzzzzzzz
*Castle images are ABC photos.
* * *
I found this blog post floating around this morning. It’s from a blog called Doggonedmysteries.
Crossing Castle off my list of shows
That’s it I’m done. When Beckett tasted the drugs that they found in the locker, I was ready to throw a brick at the TV. No *%$#^$ way! The writers of the show seriously need to do some real research or talk to some honest to goodness live police officers.
Hell, Lee Lofland would love it if they came to him for advice or attended the Writers Police Academy. Check out his link on my blogroll-Graveyard Shift.
In the entire show, the only scene I enjoyed was the last one between Beckett and Castle. Geez, that’s bad. Most people who switched channels in disgust missed the best scene. I was busy at the computer-yes, I walked away from the show. Not far though since my computer is in the living room. DH was still watching it and making derisive comments through to the end.
The worst thing is that the premise of this show was good. The writing however, sucked big time. For me it means time to say bye bye to Castle. I have better things to do with my time…like write.