Arrest and Patrol Car

Get It Right

When is a police officer required to advise a suspect of the Miranda warnings? Well, I’ll give you a hint, it’s not like we see on television, and in many books. Surprised? Not me. After all, some authors still insist on writing about cops smelling cordite, or writing about a wonderfully-crafted and efficient pistol, but use the wrong ammunition in it. It’s lazy writing and it shows. AND, today’s readers know this stuff, and when they see those errors in your books, well, a writer’s credibility levels decline rapidly.

In fact, just yesterday a literary agent, one who believes in accuracy in novels, (one of my favorite agents) contacted me about a passage from a book he’d read. In the piece, the author described a character holding what he said was a .40 Glock Model 19. The character went on to tell his adversary to move away from his door or he’d “bust a cap in his his “a**.” 

There are two things I see wrong with the brief scene. 1) The Glock model 19 is a 9mm, not a .40 cal. Totally wrong and not even close. 2) Next, who says “bust a cap in your a**?” Is that even a thing these days? The last I heard it was waaaaayy back when bellbottom pants, platform shoes, and disco balls were the rage. And it was the time when this song (below) was at the top of the charts. So no, it’s not a modern term. Sure, there are holdovers, like old-timers who call all soft drinks “Cokes” and are still waiting patiently for Elvis to climb out from behind the cheesecake in the refrigerator to take his rightful place on a Vegas stage.

… you know who you are …

 

Bust a Cap, the History

Bust a cap = to shoot someone … typically used in the 1960s and early 70s, and … However, the Extra Globe from 1839:

“On the 22nd instant about forty half and full blood Cherokee Indians came to the house of John Ridge, esq. a distinguished Cherokee, and just about daylight entered the chamber of Mr. Ridge unperceived by any of the family, and bursted a cap at his head, which awoke him, who then saw and felt his impending fate, no doubt, and called on his assailants for mercy.”

From a 1907 murder trial

“Dave Grant testified that’ between 11 and 12 o’clock, at Landon’s barber shop, he heard Henry Cooley say ‘he would bust a cap In somebody’s …”

John Wayne in a 1939 film, speaking of Bonnie Parker (Bonnie and Clyde) –

“I hated to bust a cap on a woman, especially when she was sitting down, but if it wouldn’t have been her, it would’ve been us.”

And from Wikipedia

The “percussion cap,” introduced around 1830, was used to make muzzle-loading rifles fire reliably under any weather condition. (It replaced the flint.) The firearm’s hammer would strike the cap, which would ignite the gunpowder, which would expel the bullet. The percussion cap gave way to the primer in modern breechloaded (rear-loaded) firearms. The primer is attached to the back end of the cartridge. ~ Wikipedia

The only thing the author of the problematic Glock .40 cal./9mm left out of his book was that his steampunk .40/9mm rounds were crammed and jammed full of cordite. Now that would have completed a full circle of nonsense.

Cordite is gone, folks. Finished. Over. Done. The fat lady finished the final verse many years ago. They just don’t make the stuff anymore! Haven’t since the close of WWII.

Cordite is Dead

Cordite rods and piece of round cardboard.

 

Left to right – casing, cordite rods, cardboard disc on top, and bullet.

Left to right – casing, cordite rods, cardboard disc on top, and bullet.

When Miranda Warnings Apply

Screen Shot 2017-02-07 at 3.24.15 PMTelevision depicts officers spouting off Miranda warnings the second they have someone in cuffs. Not so. I’ve been in plenty of situations where I chased a suspect, caught him, he resisted, and then we wound up on the ground fighting like street thugs while I struggled to apply handcuffs to his wrists. I can promise you I had a few words to say after I pulled the scuz to his feet, but “Miranda” wasn’t one of them. Too many letters. At that point, I could only think of words of the four -letter variety.

Two elements must be in place for the Miranda warning requirement to apply. The suspect must be in custody and he must be undergoing interrogation.

A suspect is in police custody if he’s under formal arrest or if his freedom has been restrained or denied to the extent that he feels as if he’s no longer free to leave.

This fellow is not free to leave.

arrest-take-down.jpgInterrogation is not only asking questions, but any actions, words, or gestures used by an officer to elicit an incriminating response can be considered as an interrogation.

If these two elements are in place officers must advise a suspect of the Miranda warnings prior to questioning. If not, statements made by the suspect may not be used in court. Doesn’t mean the arrest isn’t good, just that his statements aren’t admissible.

Officers are not required to advise anyone of their rights if they’re not going to ask questions. Defendants are convicted all the time without ever hearing that sing-songy police officer’s poem,  You have the right to…

Miranda facts:

Officers should repeat the Miranda warnings during each period of questioning. For example, during questioning officers decide to take a break for the night. They come back the next day to try again. They must advise the suspect of his rights again before resuming the questioning.

If an officer takes over questioning for another officer, she should repeat the warnings before asking her questions.

If a suspect asks for an attorney, officers may not ask any questions.

If a suspect agrees to answer questions, but decides to stop during the session and asks for an attorney, officers must stop the questioning.

Suspects who are under the influence of alcohol or drugs should not be questioned. Also, anyone who exhibits signs of withdrawal symptoms should not be questioned.

Officers should not question people who are seriously injured or ill.

People who are extremely upset or hysterical should not be questioned.

Officers may not threaten or make promises to elicit a confession.

Many officers carry a pre-printed Miranda warning card in their wallets. A National Sheriff’s Association membership card (same design and feel of a credit card) has the warnings printed on the reverse side.

Miranda Warning

The Real (Ernesto) Miranda

Fact: The Miranda warning requirement stemmed from a case involving a man named Ernesto Miranda.  Miranda killed a young woman in Arizona and was arrested for the crime. During questioning Miranda confessed to the slaying, but the police had failed to tell him he had the right to silence and that he could have an attorney present during the questioning. Miranda’s confession was ruled inadmissible; however, the court convicted him based on other evidence.

Miranda was released from prison after he served his sentence. Not long after his release he was killed during a bar fight.

His killer was advised of his rights according to the precedent setting case of Miranda v. Arizona. He chose to remain silent and, as a result jail officers confiscated this from him during booking …

oogg1

* As always, laws, rules, regulations, policies, etc. vary from area to area. For total accuracy, please contact an expert within the department.

position: absolute; opacity: 1; z-index: 8675309; display: none; cursor: pointer; top: 1472px; left: 20px;”>Save

position: absolute; opacity: 1; z-index: 8675309; display: none; cursor: pointer; top: 1724px; left: 20px;”>Save

position: absolute; opacity: 1; z-index: 8675309; display: none; cursor: pointer; top: 1490px; left: 20px;”>Save

Police and Reporter Relationships

Relationships between Cops and Reporters

In this hectic digital age where editors don’t have time to wait for confirmation lest another outlet beats them to the finish line of a glowing tablet screen, reporters can no longer buy the neighborhood flatfoot a cup of coffee to get the inside scoop on whether Mrs. McGillicuddy offed her old man or whether the lush really did ‘accidentally’ fall out of his bedroom window.

Now, a reporter has to hustle to keep up with the bloggers and the 24 hour cable shows, do anything he or she can to win the few moments of a customer’s attention from an overwhelming amount of other options … and nothing gets attention more than fear. Your kid’s school bus may have bad brakes, your diet soda may be poisoning you, terrorist cells are operating in nice neighborhoods just like yours, and somebody shot somebody else two blocks from where you work. So while the cops are trying to assure the locals they’re responsible for that things are fine, nothing to see so let’s move it along, the news media is trying to convince every single hard-working, tax-paying, mouse-clicking viewer that the exact opposite is true.

Venice_Police_Station,_ca.1920But it didn’t used to be that way. Back in the first half of the last century, reporters and cops had much more interactive working habits. From roughly the 1930’s to the 1950’s were the golden years of newspapers and bosses like Hearst and Pulitzer had deeper pockets than the local constabulary. Reporters were not tasked with rules of evidence and could mislead, con and flat-out impersonate in order to get witnesses to talk. They could then trade this information with the cops to get other information; thus the cops received tips they might not have otherwise. Reporters wanted a scoop and cops, especially the higher-ups, liked to strike an Elliott Ness pose in the papers.

Reporters had many advantages over the cops—they didn’t punch a time clock and could work irregular hours for a boss who wasn’t above paying a witness for their story. Afterwards they’d be happy to turn the information over to the cops, and even hold back part of it if the investigation required it—provided they eventually got to scoop their rivals. A city became a trading floor of information, with each side working the other to their advantage. There would be toes trod on and feelings of annoyance, but the next day the bell would ring and it would all begin again.

Investigative Reporting is on the Decline

When did this change? Hard to say. Rules in all lines of work have tightened, so perhaps cops are no longer so comfortable with spilling a tip over a cup of joe. Certainly the deep pockets have disappeared. Revenues from newspapers and other media plummeted over the same decades in which owners and shareholders came to expect higher profits. And as one of my reporter characters tells us, “You know what is first to get the ax? Investigative reporting.

reporterIt’s the least cost-effective type of content in any newspaper—any news outlet, period. Editors and producers can pump months of salary, overtime and expenses into a topic and then it doesn’t pan out. They never get a usable story—wasted money, in their eyes. Corporations hate to waste money that could be going into shareholder dividends instead.” The period of mutual cooperation has given way to a leaner, meaner, more desperate milieu.

And in that cauldron of pressure forensic scientist Maggie and homicide detective Jack have to solve a series of murders for which, this time, Jack is not responsible.

So far.

Lisa Black

4630229495_217x325

Lisa Black has spent over 20 years in forensic science, first at the coroner’s office in Cleveland Ohio and now as a certified latent print examiner and CSI at a Florida police dept. Her books have been translated into 6 languages, one reached the NYT Bestseller’s List and one has been optioned for film and a possible TV series.

 

 

 

 

Unpunished

www.lisa-black.com

background: #bd081c no-repeat scroll 3px 50% / 14px 14px; position: absolute; opacity: 1; z-index: 8675309; display: none; cursor: pointer; top: 36px; left: 20px;”>Save

Writers' Police Academy

Registration Opens February 19

It’s almost here! That’s right, registration for the 2017 Writers’ Police Academy is scheduled to open at NOON EST on February 19, 2017.

You can expect BIG things this year. Over the moon excitement, thrills, and action. Lots of BOOMS, BANGS, sirens, and flashing lights. New workshops include a ton of … well, surprises, as you’ll soon see!

Craig Johnson

2017 is our 9th annual event and, as always, we’ve outdone ourselves with another stellar lineup, starting with Craig Johnson, Mr. Longmire himself, as Guest of Honor!

Screen Shot 2017-01-05 at 8.18.02 PM

Paul Bishop

Next up is Paul Bishop, a thirty-five year veteran of the Los Angeles Police Department. Not only is Paul a renowned interrogator and teacher of all things interview and interrogation, he starred in his own ABC TV series called Take the Money and Run. 

WEB 3

Paul has fifteen published novels, including five in his LAPD, Detective Fey Croaker series. He has also written numerous scripts for episodic television and feature films. He is the co-creator and editor of the popular Fight Card series of hardboiled boxing novels and the Pulse Fiction anthologies. His latest novel, Lie Catchers, is the first in a new series featuring top LAPD interrogators Ray Pagan and Calamity Jane Randall.

Dr. Katherine Ramsland

katherine-ramsland225

Back by extremely popular demand is Dr. Katherine Ramsland, director of the Master of Arts in Criminal Justice Program at DeSales University. Dr. Ramsland also teaches courses on extreme offenders and forensic psychology. A regular WPA instructor, she has published over 1,000 articles, stories, and reviews, and 59 books, including The Mind of a Murderer, The Forensic Science of CSI, Inside the Minds of Serial KillersThe Ivy League Killer, and The Murder Game. Her book, Psychopath, was a #1 bestseller on the Wall Street Journal’s list.

Her latest book, Confessions of a Serial Killer, was written with Dennis “BTK” Rader, and her new novel, The Ripper Letter, relies on Ripper lore.

Les Edgerton

LESEDGERTON

Les Edgerton, an award-winning author and writing teaching, is an ex-con, matriculating at Pendleton Reformatory in the sixties for burglary (plea-bargained down from multiple counts of burglary, armed robbery, strong-armed robbery and possession with intent). He was an outlaw for many years and was involved in shootouts, knifings, robberies, high-speed car chases, dealt and used drugs, was a pimp, worked for an escort service, starred in porn movies, was a gambler, served four years in the Navy, and had other misadventures. He’s since taken a vow of poverty (became a writer) with 19 books in print. Three of his novels have been sold to German publisher, Pulpmaster for the German language rights. His memoir, Adrenaline Junkie is currently being marketed. He currently teaches a private novel-writing class online.

Northeast Wisconsin Technical College

IMG_0909

The Writers’ Police Academy takes place at the public safety academy on the sprawling campus of Northeast Wisconsin Technical College (NWTC). The majority of the event, including our fabulous hotel, is situated on the Oneida Indian Reservation. Believe me, this place is super nice. As you can see in the image below of one of our lecture halls, our facilities are quite nice, modern, and extremely well-equipped.

IMG_0825

Keep in mind, though, the WPA is hands-on event with very little lecture-based sessions. Those of you who attended last year will remember exactly what took place mere moments after this photo was taken. Without revealing details, let’s just say that what happened next was HEART-POUNDING realism at it’s finest!

Screen Shot 2017-02-04 at 3.52.04 PM

Our event hotel, Radisson Hotel and Conference Center, Green Bay

We believe in pampering you guys from the moment your plane touches down in Green Bay until the moment you head back to the airport on the last day. Your accommodations are stunning, the food is great (this is also the official hotel of the Green Bay Packers; therefore, the chef is used to preparing gourmet meals to people who are used to the finer things). And the academy experience cannot be matched.

More from the hotel.

Screen Shot 2017-02-04 at 3.49.58 PM

Screen Shot 2017-02-04 at 3.50.13 PM

Screen Shot 2017-02-04 at 3.50.27 PM

Screen Shot 2017-02-04 at 3.51.51 PM

Screen Shot 2017-02-04 at 3.51.28 PM

Yes, there’s a reason why thousands of writers from all over the world have attended the WPA, and it’s because we put you and your needs, wants, safety, and comfort first. Our workshops and presenters are based on your questions and ideas. You requested it and we delivered.

And, as always, our team of academy instructors are the best at what they do, hands-down. They’re top law enforcement professionals from local, state, and federal agencies, investigators, experts, medical professionals, firefighting pros, and more. And, for the first time ever, we’re introducing workshops taught from the other side of the badge!!

Workshops this year are beyond exciting and we’re anxious for you to see the schedule, which is currently being uploaded into the system. You can follow the progress by visiting the Writers’ Police Academy website. We’re currently in maintenance mode but should be out from under that status by the end of the day (Sunday February 5th).

For now, though, let’s talk about the exciting giveaways worth over $1,500!

Screen Shot 2017-02-04 at 12.48.06 PM

First, author Kendra Elliott, a longtime WPA sponsor, has generously offered to give a package deal—free registration AND $500 in cash to use toward travel, hotel, or whatever you’d like. Details of how you could win this prize package to be announced very soon. You’ll also find those details on the registration form (on February 19th when registration goes live).

Next is a FREE registration. This opportunity is available to EVERYONE who registers on the FIRST day (February 19th at noon). The winner is to be selected by random drawing. To be perfectly clear, this opportunity is available to EVERYONE who signs on the FIRST day registration opens—February 19, 2017 (registration opens at noon EST).

This is the ONLY time this opportunity will be available—the first day of registration, only.

This should be no problem at all since everyone signs up the first hour, right? Remember, space is limited to the first 300 people. So be ready at NOON EST on February 19, 2017. These valuable opportunities could be yours!

~

Screen Shot 2016-03-15 at 5.40.49 PM

*Writers’ Police Academy T-shirts, banquet meals, hats, and other swag may be included in the prize packages.

See you soon!

WHEN:
August 10-13, 2017

WHERE:
Northeast Wisconsin Technical College
International Public Safety
Training Academy
Green Bay, Wisconsin

www.writerspoliceacademy.com

~

SinC-30th-anniversary-logo-2-color-WEB

Sisters in Crime, a major sponsor of the Writers’ Police Academy, offers a generous discount to their members attending the WPA for the first time. Not a member? No problem. Simply join SinC today to receive your discount.

*You must be a SinC member at the time of WPA registration to receive the discount. Click here to join SinC today!

~

SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES!

The WPA is actively seeking sponsors and items for the raffle and silent auction. Thanks to you, to date we’ve given our host academies/colleges over $100,000, and the figure only grows higher. It is because of your generosity that we’re able to do what we do!

Please contact me at lofland32@msn.com if you’d like to join our family of sponsors. We need you, and a sponsorship is a great means to advertise you and your work to a worldwide audience!

We are also seeking volunteers to help out at the event. Raffle and silent auction experience not necessary, but big smiles and the ability to sell tickets like your life depends on it are, well, a big plus. 🙂

background: #bd081c no-repeat scroll 3px 50% / 14px 14px; position: absolute; opacity: 1; z-index: 8675309; display: none; cursor: pointer; top: 2154px; left: 20px;”>Save

Friday's Heroes - Remembering the fallen officers

sergeant-steve-floydSergeant Steven Floyd

Delaware Department of Corrections

February 2, 2017 – Sergeant Steven Floyd was killed during a 20-hour riot and hostage situation at the James T. Vaughn Correctional Center.

 


police-officer-eric-mumawOfficer Eric Mumaw, 44

Metro Nashville Tennessee Police Department

February 2, 2017 Officer Eric Mumaw drowned in swift water while attempting to rescue a suicidal woman. Other officers attempted to save him but the freezing water temperature and strong current prevented them from reaching him.


c_molloyDeputy Chief James T. Molloy, 55 

New York City Police Department

January 30, 2017 – Deputy Chief James Molloy died of brain cancer he contracted as a direct result of inhaling toxic materials during the rescue and recovery attempts at the World Trade Center on September 11, 2011.

Seventy-two officers died on 9-11 while trying to save the lives of others.

Chief Molloy is survived by his wife and daughters.

background: #bd081c no-repeat scroll 3px 50% / 14px 14px; position: absolute; opacity: 1; z-index: 8675309; display: none; cursor: pointer; top: 36px; left: 20px;”>Save

drinking during super bowl

Drunk Driving and the Super Bowl

It’s almost here … Super Bowl LI. Patriots and the Falcons. Tom Brady and crew vs. Matt Ryan and company.

And lots of food and lots of ALCOHOL.

Booze.

Whiskey.

Beer.

And …

Drunk drivers.

I know I shouldn’t have to say this, but please don’t drive drunk. Designate someone sober to drive. By the way, a designated driver should not ever be the guy who consumed the least number of vodka shots. A designated does NOT drink alcoholic beverages. Not even one.

Unfortunately, drunks still get behind the wheel and drunk drivers are still killing people.

GREG LYNCH/JOURNALNEWS A Hamilton Police officer Carl Phillips consols a woman arriving to the scene of a fatal accident on Neilan Blvd. early Monday.


Officer Carl Phillips consoles a woman arriving to the scene of a fatal accident.

Frito-Lay to the rescue!

Screen Shot 2017-02-02 at 12.07.20 PM

Frito-Lay devised a unique means to help keep drunk drivers off the road this Super Bowl Sunday …

Screen Shot 2017-02-02 at 12.07.53 PM

… a combination Tostitos/Breathalyzer bag that helps users know if they’ve consumed alcohol and, if so, they should find a designated driver to take them to their desired destinations (hopefully, home to a warm bed).

Screen Shot 2017-02-02 at 12.07.00 PM copy

The concept is simple. Consumers blow into the bag (empty) and, if the logo turns from green to red (above), they should find a ride home. And, as a bonus, Frito-Lay is also offering a $10 Uber credit with the purchase of the “breathalyzer chips” to help offset the cost of the safe ride home.

Screen Shot 2017-02-02 at 12.06.50 PM

Consumers blow into an empty Tostitos bag

Now, for reality. If you’ve reached the point where you find yourself blowing deeply into a bag of chips to determine whether or not you’ve consumed alcohol … well, you’re probably at the point where you have absolutely no business driving a car.

This is simple. Really, it is.

If you drink ANY amount of alcohol, DO NOT drive. Period.

I’ve responded to far too many crash scenes in my day, where human bodies were ripped, mangled, and torn apart, burned beyond recognition, decapitated, eviscerated, and/or crushed. And those were the dead bodies of small children.  Of course, death is not shy. Adults are equally mangled in violent car crashes. So please, I urge you to please think about this before drinking and driving. Please. PLEASE.

Believe me, there’s nothing worse than having to inform someone that their spouse and child were killed.

This is a bit selfish, I suppose, but it’s my wish that no officer ever need to witness another crash scene. It’s horrible to process and to have stored in your memory. And it would break my heart to hear that one of you … well, you know.

So the next time your pull into a DUI checkpoint, you’ll have no worries, right?

Right??

Hamilton One 114

By the way, good intentions, Frito-Lay, but consumers, please do NOT rely on a bag of chips to save your life or the life of another. Just do the right thing and don’t drive drunk!!

 

background: #bd081c no-repeat scroll 3px 50% / 14px 14px; position: absolute; opacity: 1; z-index: 8675309; display: none; cursor: pointer; top: 480px; left: 20px;”>Save

guitar

22 Things You Don’t Know about Lee Lofland

Things you may or may not know about me. Yes, someone challenged me to compose a list of twenty-five.

Here’s twenty-two. One statement is a lie. Three are top secret. Can you spot the false statement?

The list:

1. I do not edit this blog. What you see is each day is usually a first pass, and the errors found on the site are sometimes pretty funny.

2. Things not discussed on this blog—politics, gun control, religion, sex. Why not? Just take a peek at the bloodbath known as Facebook and you’ll see why I choose to not wade into a battle that no one could possibly win.

Screen Shot 2017-02-01 at 10.06.26 AMI choose to stick to reporting facts. No choosing sides. Just plain old fact.

By the way, thanks to all the insane gnashing of teeth and bickering and name-calling and fake news, I’ve stopped reading Facebook posts. Nada. Nothing. I surrender. The hatred won. So I’m sorry if I’m missing your good news, but I prefer to remember my friends as, well, my friends. I still post news to social media, but to subject myself to seeing friends at each other’s throats, calling one another ever vile name in the book … no thanks.

So no more reading things on social media for me. Not for a while.

3. I started this blog in January, nine years ago, and I’ve missed only a couple of days of offering new articles. I even wrote and posted a morphine-induced article mere minutes after waking up from major neck surgery. However, I missed yesterday. My excuse—tons of 2017 Writers’ Police Academy details to work out.

4. I enjoy music quite a bit, and I play, or have played several instruments, including guitar, bass guitar, drums, trumpet, tuba, french horn, and clarinet. Well, the clarinet thing was a passing fancy, but the others I’ve played with some degree of success. I’ve played guitar, bass, drums, and/or trumpet in numerous bands over the years. I sat first chair, first trumpet (soloist) in our concert band and with the marching and jazz bands.

I learned to play the trumpet in an odd way.

I played tuba in the junior high band (some of us younger folks also performed with our award-winning high school marching band). As odd luck would have it, we were scheduled to play for a homecoming parade and halftime show at a well-known university when the lead trumpet player became ill and couldn’t perform.

I’d never played the trumpet in public and really didn’t know how. Couldn’t even read the music since tuba sheet music is in written bass clef and trumpet is in treble, meaning the notes on the staff have differing values (a note on the staff for a trumpet, while located in the same spot, is different than a note in the same position when played on a tuba).

20170201_102207A tiny bit of music theory here, to help you better understand how complex this situation was for me:

  • The five lines (above) are called a “staff.”
  • Those lines and the spaces between represent different pitches.
  • With a blank staff we can’t tell what notes to play, right? So composers use Clefs to mark which notes correspond to individual lines and/or spaces. The Treble Clef (pictured above, is also known as the G Clef) and the Bass Clef (also pictured above) is the F Clef. By the way, I drew both clefs on the same staff. This was merely to illustrate how they appear on sheet music. In the real world, the two clefs would not appear together on the same staff.

The Treble Clef spirals around the second line from the bottom. This spiral tells us that notes on this line are G.

notenames-1

The Bass Clef has two dots, above and below the second line from the top. The dots indicate that this line is F.

bassclef-notenames-1

Clear as mud, right? But, is it merely fuel to assist in a convincing lie? 🙂

Anyway, the band director came to me, extremely distraught, and asked if I thought I could play the trumpet parts if he wrote the valve positions (which valve to press for each note) beneath the notes.

Screen Shot 2017-01-31 at 1.59.16 PM

We had two trumpet-heavy songs to perform, both by Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass—A Taste of Honey and Tijuana Taxi. So there I went, marching with the band (left, right, left, right, and so on, lifting my knees parallel to the ground and toes pointed down) with a piece of sheet music attached to the lyre hooked to my borrowed horn.

Screen Shot 2017-01-31 at 2.10.20 PM

Trumpet with lyre attached, holding sheet music.

Before handing me the sheet music, the band director used a pencil to mark the valve positions for each note on the page. Otherwise, I had no clue which note was which.

This is similar to what I had to go by, tiny sheets of music marked with crude drawings of valve positions and note names. And I had to decipher this in real time while marching!

Screen Shot 2017-01-31 at 3.02.49 PM

 

Anyway, I got through it and, remarkably, we won the first place award for best marching band in the parade. The halftime show was also a success, in spite of having to change the routine a bit since I was then in a new position.

With knees knocking and fear plucking every nerve, I played a trumpet solo, right there on the 50 yard line at a major U.S. university. Remember, this was my first time in public playing a trumpet, and I did not know how! But I’ve always been ready for challenge. However, I’m sort of done with challenges these days. Now, I opt for quiet, calm, and peace. Except, of course, during the Writers’ Police Academy! By the way, my switch to trumpet became a permanent move, from that day forward.

5. Denene and I once owned a really nice gym, a remodeling company, a music store, and a computer business. We’ve also owned rental property. and even that time

6. I enjoy small woodworking projects, when I have the time. I have also been known to do larger jobs, such as room additions and roofing. I made these a while back.

20170131_203418

20170131_151013

7. I was once in a nice restaurant, enjoying a delicious bowl of clam chowder, when one of the Oak Ridge Boys, who was also at our table, started singing to my wife, Denene.

8. I, unlike you guys, knew prior to showing the video at the WPA, that Michael Cudlitz (star of The Walking Dead, Southland, and the Band of Brothers), was not wearing pants when he shot the recording announcing the winner of the Writers’ Police Academy Golden Donut Short Story Contest. He’d forgotten to do the video for us, but remembered it after he’d gone to bed. So he got up, slipped on a shirt, and … well, I’ll bet you view the video differently now!

9. I once taught self-defense and rape prevention to college students. The program was part of the schools’ orientation for new students.

10. I taught business math at a Virginia High School. Deciding it would be safer and less stressful to work as a police officer, I made the change.

11. I was a Boy Scout camp counselor for a few years. My jobs during that time included teaching archery and rifle and shotgun, and overseeing some of the daily operation of the camp dining hall. I also served as camp bugler.

12. I haven’t fired a gun in over 15 years.

13. I have a tattoo of Mickey Mouse.

14. I, my brother, and a friend won a karaoke contest. Our song? “Stop, in the Name of Love” by The Supremes.

15. My brother, the same friend, and I were fishing in a narrow but deep river. I tossed out my line, hoping to catch a nice large-mouth bass. When I made the cast, the lure went up and over a tree branch before coming to a stop four feet above the surface of water. Unsure how I was going to retrieve the lure, we began to paddle closer to it to try. Suddenly, a huge bass leapt from the water and swallowed the lure, leaving the large fish dangling from the line, like a yo-yo at the bottom of a long string. Just as I was about to grab the fish (the largest of the day, by the way) the bass let go and fell into the water, never to be seen again.

16. I was a high-jumper and sprinter on my high school track team.

17. For extra money, I once worked a part-time job where I repaired damaged (new, and empty) wooden caskets.

18. A doctor once told me I was at the end of my life and I should get my affairs in order, immediately. However, I lived.

19. I have worked as a laborer, pulling tobacco and picking cotton from sunup to sundown. My pay was $3 per day plus meals, one Pepsi, and a package of snack crackers. I worked on this farm for an entire summer, vowing each day to never, ever do it again.

20. I can write forward with my right hand and backward (mirror image) with my right … at the same time.

20170201_090748Hey, DaVinci could do it too. If it’s good enough for him … Or, are we both lying about this unusual ability?

21. I was called to assist with catching a guy who’d overpowered a wiry jail officer to escape his cell. When I went in the back (that’s what we called going inside the high security area) the prisoner was standing next to a supply room throwing rolls of toilet tissue at the skinny and distraught jailer who was trying to catch him. The prisoner was 6′-5″ and the jailer was 5′-6″ and weighed 120 lbs. on a heavy day. Hilarious sight.

So that’s it for me. Were you able to use your highly-honed detective skills to spot the false “fact?”

What about you? What’s one thing we don’t know about you? Remember, no politics, gun control, religion, or sex. Hmm … omitting those topics might leave some people with nothing to say … 🙂

Just in case …

 

 

 

position: absolute; opacity: 1; z-index: 8675309; display: none; cursor: pointer; top: 320px; left: 20px;”>Save

background: #bd081c no-repeat scroll 3px 50% / 14px 14px; position: absolute; opacity: 1; z-index: 8675309; display: none; cursor: pointer; top: 333px; left: 20px;”>Save