• Mega doses of B vitamins. You know, the ones that give you energy?
• Hone your visualization skills. Lee likes to, um, demonstrate directions to various buildings. Mental note for next year – add soundtrack and BAM, viral dance video! At least he uses the terms “left” and/or “right”, none of that north, south, east or west stuff cops like to use. Just tell me to turn left.
• More vitamins.
• Wear comfortable clothes. And shoes. Nothing worse than searching with heels on for a dead body in the woods.
• Bring a notebook, notepad, laptop, bar napkin – anything you can write on. No, there’s not a test afterward, but you will want to take notes on how to uncover that dead body in the woods. You know, just in case you’re ever in need of that information. Interesting conversation starter. Probably wouldn’t recommend it for a first date.
• Some classes are so popular, be prepared to sit on the floor. Wear deodorant.
• More vitamins
• Sleep aide to counter act all the vitamins and coffee. But not a real strong one. The buses leave at 7:30. In the morning. Yawn.
• More coffee
• Watch hours of cop shows on television so you’ll understand why Dave Pauly rolls his eyes when you mention one in class.
• When you arrive home, walk the dog. Rub the cat (if allowed). Do anything necessary to return to your pre-WPA life.
• Attempt to take a much needed nap. After an hour of new plot twists slamming around inside your head, give up. Write down said plot twists.
• Check Facebook. Send friend requests to everyone you met at the academy. Except the bartender. They’d probably rather forget you.
• Reconnect with wife/husband/partner/kids and actually show interest in what they did while you were gone. While they’re talking, stop wondering if civilians can actually order a body bag from SIRCHE. I mean, seriously? What are you going to do with it?
• Re-watch hours of same cop shows and laugh. Then roll your eyes. Make Dave proud.
WPA instructor Dave Pauly and The Mayberry Deputy (actor David Browning)
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