In Their World: Page 4 Of My Spiral Notebook
Never so alone
Ashamed
Depressed
Anxious.
Strip-searched
Man after man
A number now
Prisoner after prisoner.
One by one
For all to see
Arms outstretched
Humiliation.
Men
Many frightened
Pretending
Showing no fear.
Long, dark, damp concrete hallways
Steel bars and doors
Stale air and emotions
Never a ray of sunlight.
Voices
Thunderous voices
Shrieking, howling, shouting
Everywhere.
Never-ending chatter
Never-ending clatter
Never-ending loneliness
Never-ending despair.
Never alone
But always alone
Sitting
Staring.
Thinking
Dreaming
Hoping
Regretting.
Kneeling
Prayers unanswered
Forgiveness
Doubtful.
Never silent
Deafening
The hollering and shouting
The clanging and banging.
Chains rattling
Doors slamming
Whistles and bells
Endlessly.
Time
Stopped
Days become weeks
Weeks become months.
An eternity
A lifetime of agony
Living inside their minds
An endless nightmare.
At least I could go home
At the end of the day.
Unwind
Take off the uniform
The badge
Thinking
Staring
Nightmares
Of bars and concrete
Of broken lives and hearts
Only to awaken
To begin another day
In their world.
I have toured several jails over the years (on the side that can go home, thankfully) and your piece gave me shivers. The artificial lighting. The constant awareness of never being truly alone – no solitude, no sense of your own humanity. The noise – good grief, the never-ending, intrusive noise, from the sound of others breathing to cursing to the sharp-edged clatter of dishes and the semi-rhythmic stamp of feet as chainless coffles march past – it is truly the stuff of nightmares.
Another great piece, Lee. I never thought about the noise and lack of sunshine.
I never thought of the constant noise that is present in a jail. That would make me nuts, seriously.
Great piece, Lee. Thank you for sharing!
Another great notebook post!
I have to say that a few years ago I visited the Hauptman jail cell and as those loud cell doors closed, I was so glad I was on the right side of them. It was a very scarey feeling.
Thanks for sharing your really great and vivid writing.
I love your notebook posts. They are absolutely heartbreaking, hopefully people read them and realize how hard that life is.
Well that sounds like motivation to stay out of jail. Another great spiral post.
I have been meaning for some time to comment on your ‘Spiral Notebook’ posts. Each one is poetry. They are great.