Tag Archive for: Never

20 things bad guys

Bad guys say the darndest things, especially when operating their mouth parts while under the influence of alcohol, coke, or meth. Here are some of the things the little darlings said to me over the years. Use your imagination to determine my response(s).

1. “Pepper spray me. Go ahead, I dare you. Spray me.”

2. “I’ll kill your family.”

3. “I know where you live.”

4. “You think you’re man enough?” … “You’re breaking my arm! Ouch! Ouch! I give up! Ouch!”

5. “I’m not getting out of my car, and you can’t make me.”

Well, I could, and I did. For details, please read my article, “It’s Christmas, So Let’s Pull a Fat Guy Through a Car Window.”

6. “I’ve got a gun.”

7. “You’re not big enough to put me in that police car.”

8. “Don’t put your hands on me.”

9. “You won’t live long enough to put those handcuffs on me, you son of a bit**h” Twenty minutes later … “Could you please please loosen these cuffs? They’re hurting my wrists.”

10. As he rips off his shirt and flexes, while backing up … “You don’t want none of this.”

“You don’t want none of this!”

11. “If I ever catch you out of uniform, I’ll …”

12. “Does your dog bite? AHHHHH!! Get him off! Get him off!!

13. “If you think that fancy nightstick will stop me, th…”

14. “Yeah, what are you going to do if you catch me?”

15. “You’re going to have to come in and get me.”

16. “I’m not scared of you or your dog. I don’t care if it is a rottweiler.

17. “You can’t arrest me. I play golf with your boss.”

18. “You can’t prove none of that.”

19. “I’m glad you’re the one who caught me. We’re friends, right?”

20. While working undercover narcotics. You have to tell the truth when I ask if you’re a cop, right?”

The list, my friends, is endless. As is the stupidity of many.