As we face the uncertainties of the current state of the world, without a doubt we’re all feeling the pain of shopping for necessities—toilet tissue, disinfectant, hand sanitizer, food, and wine. The latter (wine) as everyone knows is a must-have item for writers. Without it library and bookstore shelves would soon become as bare as the paper goods aisle at the local Piggly Wiggly.

By the way, it’s illegal in our state to ship alcohol, including wine, to a residence. Therefore, to survive this high level emergency we must choose between an empty wine rack or venture outside the safety of our little compound to visit an essential business establishment. It’s a scary thought, especially after a possible sighting of Tina Turner and Mel Gibson zipping past our house yesterday. I assumed they were headed to Bartertown for the next Thunderdome battle. Even they, a pair used to apocalyptic life, wore hazmat suits, masks, and latex gloves.

Needless to say, since I’m not up on my Thunderdome jousting skills, we’re staying inside.

I wish I could help each of you in your quests to locate a source for hand sanitizer and toilet tissue but, for the well-being of my family I must keep those details a secret. However, I will share information as to how you can stock your pantry shelves with delicious and practically nonperishable canned meats and other sources of protein.

So grab a knife and fork and prepare to salivate.

First up …

Dehydrated Zebra Tarantula

Canned Reindeer Meat, and Gravy

Canned Rattlesnake

Mixed Bugs

Black Forest Scorpions

Worm Bites (mealworms, etc.)

Creamed Possum and Coon Fat Gravy

Six-Pack – Armadillo, Possum, Squirrel, Raccoon, and more!

Alligator in a Can

Duck Legs in a Can

Camel Jerky

Cheddar Cheese Flavored Darkling Worm Larvae

There you have it, the answer to your culinary needs and desires. So order now while supplies last!