Most of us have known friends who’ve stabbed us in the back, betrayed us, or otherwise hurt us in some form or another. And, we’ve known people who seem to enjoy “sticking it” to others, even to people who’ve bent over backward to help them. This is especially so if those “jabs” help the “sticker” in some way, be it career advancement, attract a member of the opposite sex, or for some other form of personal gain.
Sure, these people are charming and they’re often the life of the party, making their way around the room chatting and yucking it up with anyone who’ll listen to their “smooth” words. But, while your so-called “friend” is flitting among your guests, lining up dates and one night stands with any and everyone in the place, they’re also likely to be busy putting you down simply for the purpose of appearing to be better than you, and they’ll say whatever it takes to achieve that goal. So…sound familiar? Do you know someone who fits this bill? Yeah, me too, unfortunately.
As bad and as sorry it is to be a lowlife phony backstabber, that might not be where the trouble ends. Believe it or not, that fake charm, those pretend smiles, and doing harm to people who trusted them could be an indication that the life of your party is a closet Ted Bundy.
Before we dig bit deeper into what makes these bewitching narcissistic traitors tick, we should first assign a name to our lying, cheating, done-somebody-wrong pretend friends, and that name is…PSYCHOPATH.
Psychopathy is a personality disorder that involves/includes a menagerie of traits that make it extremely easy to like the person and to fall victim to their plans and plots. Those same pleasant mannerisms sometimes fool even the most skilled police investigators during interrogations. And, it’s those very qualities could make it quite easy to be killed by them.
Psychopaths are charismatic, alluring, and they’re quite skilled at carrying on a silver-tongued conversation that could charm the devil himself. They’re manipulative liars who use their abilities to have people do things for them, such as give them money. They’re predators who actually do know right from wrong, however their own personal gain trumps whatever consequences could come their way if caught.
Yes, some women are psychopaths, but most are men who often prey on women who fall for their convincing lies and grandiose schemes. Psychopaths are easily able to enter into careers in government, academia, and yes, even law enforcement.
Many are so skilled at lying and manipulation that they’re able to slip through the cracks and pass psych tests and evaluations, and they use people in any way they can to get whatever they want. They sometimes talk their way into high-profile jobs of power, and they absolutely love and cherish the dominance and control those positions afford them. Psychopaths regularly fool family members, and they use their abilities to gain the confidence of the people they desire to kill.
What are some red flag warning signs that you’re in some way involved with a psychopath?
1. They’re extremely charming, but the allure is superficial, shallow, and as phony as a three-dollar bill.
2. Psychopaths believe they’re more important than they really are. They believe their self-worth is practically immeasurable, and that others are beneath them. And, when they feel threatened by someone they seek to destroy that person. Destruction doesn’t always mean death, however. It could mean an all out attempt to ruin a person’s career, family, livelihood, etc.
3. They show no remorse for the bad things they do. They can easily collapse a person’s family life and profession and flippantly walk away smiling and not caring at all about the damage they’ve done.
4. They accept not one ounce of responsibility for their actions. They care about one thing and one thing only…ME, ME, ME. They’ll pretend to care about others, but it’s all an act because that’s what they do…act.
5. Psychopaths seem to love excitement and thrills. It’s an adrenaline rush for them to see others suffer emotionally, especially if it was they who caused the pain.
6. Hyper-inflated egos. They love themselves more than anyone else could.
7. They’re users who take whatever than can get from someone before moving on when the well runs dry. Spouses and other partners are often the ones on the losing end of this deal.
8. Rule-breakers. Rules do not apply to these folks, and they’ll circumvent them whenever possible because it’s a feeling of power and control.
9. These people are experts at manipulation and con games, and they may be so skilled at how they present the con that you’ll never see it coming. They’ll charm the boss, the preacher, family members and friends, subordinates and they’ll charm the garbage man if they think they could gain something from it.
1o. Psychopaths are pathological liars.
11. Psychopaths are often organized, careful planners who do not impulsively. (Sociopaths are easily angered and sometimes fly into sudden, spontaneous fits of rage).
12. Psychopaths feel entitled—the world owes them.
Finally, psychopaths will kill. Think Dahmer, Ted Bundy, Gacy, and even Hitler. But they’re are not always criminals and/or murderers. They could be your manipulative, lying, and narcissistic, backstabbing neighbor, your coworker, your boss, your writing coach, or…your spouse.
So…how do you feel about the psychopath in your life? You know you have one. The question is…how fast can you run away, before it’s too late?